So for those of you who have been following the saga of how I made God laugh, today I got some very good news. After a lot of discussion with the insurance company, we have finally come to a settlement. All I can say is:
It has been a long process, much longer than I thought it would be. I owe so much thanks to my sister Tamara because without her advice I never would have been able to negotiate the troubled waters that are the insurance agency pitfalls. I would have felt a lot like this:
So I owe her a lot of thanks for providing me guidance and helping me through this. I can't yet reveal the settlement but I will say that I learned a lot about negotiating with insurance companies. I really would have been taken advantage of except I took the time to do the research and, in the words of the instructor who ran our internship seminiars - the incomparable Dr. Schneider, I "asked the people who know." I had my sister and her supervisor (who so graciously offered his expertise and for that I am incredibly grateful) go over all of the information I had, all of the "offers" the claims adjuster was offering (including all of her arguments as to why I wasn't entitled to what I was asking for as a settlement), and review what I was asking in terms of a settlement. I even consulted a bicycle injury lawyer who told me I had a case but unless I was asking for extremely high monetary compensation it wasn't worth it for me to retain his services - how is that for the oxymoronic idea of an honest lawyer? In the end we settled for exactly in the middle of the two numbers we started with in the first place - true negotiation.
On another note, next Wednesday I get to start being not just a written and visual advocate but a vocal one as well. I have been invited to speak to the Syosset High School Driver's Education classes on the topic of "Sharing the Road". I'm thinking about putting together a powerpoint presentation with images of my bike and me from my last accident - I mean it IS before breakfast so maybe the images won't be TOO graphic.
But what I will be sharing with them is the experience that I just settled and also the other two times I've been hit on my bike - almost always by inattentive motorists. Its a great thing to be able to talk to new drivers and make them aware that if they aren't always attentive to cyclists what the possible consequences can be. I mean I'm lucky becuase I haven't been "seriously" injured (aside from some stitches) but I have friends who have been and those are some of the stories I can talk about as well. I'm also hoping that by putting a personal face on cyclists to them they may become a little more aware. If it saves at least one cyclist from getting hit by a car then it will all be worth it.
And on another note, I have officially given up this year's football season may the 2010 Cowboys Rest In Peace. Now I'm looking forward to the start of next year's cycling season - at least in the meantime I have Cyclocross!!!!
Oh well, time to get back on the road - I'll see you there.
With all due respect to my colleagues across the globe who think they are the be all and end all of knowledge (there aren't really any that I know personally but people tell me they are out there) that reign supreme over their little fiefdoms once the door is shut, this post is about something we all need to think about - how do we CONTINUE to learn?
Sure, we can take classes such as continuing education courses, online enrichment courses or entire in graduate study courses like the one I'm currently enrolled in at The College of New Rochelle in Educational Leadership. One of the elements of the mission statement for the program states, "Leaders never stop learning and honing their skills."
Why do we need mission statements to do this? Shouldn't we always thrive to continue learning and growing every day? I know as a cyclist I do. Every since my accident, I have learned to REALLY look for ANY sign that someone is going to open a door. The first time I got hit on my bicycle I learned never to trust that they are NOT going to make a right turn when they pass me before an intersection (because when you do trust them they make a sudden "Oh, yeah I want to go that way" and you end up as a side sticker on their vehicle). Of course, I didn't TOTALLY learn that lesson until the second time it happened (Father's Day 2009) when a late for work Pet Shop employee turned into me as he was trying to get into the parking lot to open the shop (it was 9:02 and he was late, my bad).
And there was the time when I was nine when I learned that when you are making a home made bow and arrow set at the lake in the middle of nowhere because you're bored of fishing, its never a good idea to make the arrow notches with the arrow (and knive blade) facing towards you - if the wood splits, the sharp (and rusty) knife could travel the four inches to your thumb. I had ten stitches to remember that lesson. And the time that I learned its not a good idea to ride your Texaco tanker truck on your stomach down a really large hill. The truck looked like this;
while I looked kind of like this:
(This is not really me, but it's pretty close to what I looked like every time I rode my truck)
And you have to imagine that cute little rash over most of the front of my body and my arms. I was only about five at the time so it took 15 or so times (and about five Texaco trucks) to have that lesson sink in but I did learn that human skin and asphalt don't mix very well.
So my fellow practitioners of Zen-type positive thoughts, as evolving humans we need to remember that lessons can be found everywhere we look. I myself am learning lessons on a daily basis from my students. Indeed there are many days where I feel much more like Ralph Macchio/David Carradine than Pat Morita/Keye Luke. My students teach me new things all the time and a case in point is my college acting class over the last two days (shout outs to Jillian, Hannah, Alex, Paige, Joe, Karthik, and Katherine). If we are open to the messages of the universe, knowledge can come from any corner of it.
One of the things I have been learning about in the last few days came from this video that one the students in my College Theatre class showed us in his playwrights presentation. He chose the playwright Suzanne-Lori Parks (Topdog/Underdog) and she was recently the keynote speaker at a national Theatre Educator's conference. In it she had this to say;
During her interview I was struck by her words, "we need to find ways to continue and not just to survive, but to thrive" to give back to each other and not just try to get by. I think that is a lesson that Amy and I are working on a lot this year - to make sure that we and our family experience life as we live it, maybe not every, every moment (can you tell I've been working on Our Town) but at least most of the time. We ALL get so tied up in the day to day survival that we forget to experience and to enjoy the experience. My students are teaching me the need to do that. I am seeing so many of my seniors stressed out to the max this year - AT THE TENDER AGE OF 17! They are so worried about college and admissions and resumes and auditions that they are not enjoying the every day friendships that they have. As a result I see (and hear) too many of them "enjoying" themselves in what can best be described as "questionable" ways.
And doesn't that happen in life? How many people come home from a stressful day at the job only to break open a beer or mix a drink (or two, or three). Yes, I know it is their Constitutional Right (I think it comes under pursuit of happiness) but is it healthy? Is it thriving? Or is it just surviving?
Another lesson that has been taught to me is the reminder that theatre folk, even the young ones, are unlike any other folk I know. ACT was approached a few days ago with a proposition. In case you're not aware, many disturbing studies have been coming out lately showing that bullying is on the rise, including ones that show that half of high school kids admit they've been bullied. Other people purport to tell us how to stop the bullying but how do we really get it to stop. Others brush it off by saying its always been around and that's just the nature of kids. However, with the rise of technology bullying is taking on cyber speed and cyber brutality. It has even touched close to home and I remember being bullied as a child myself, often running home one of seven different routes just to avoid the five or six kids who wanted to pound on me or torment me. This type of thing kept happening to me until I was thirteen and I finally snapped and ended up fighting one of my tormentors and breaking his cheekbone. People left me alone after that. However, in this day and age where the NRA has rampant members everywhere exercising their right to arm bears, I wouldn't always suggest beating up your tormentors as the way to handle the issue - especially if you happen to be in a small Southern town like I was.
Anyway, back to my story. ACT was approached with the idea of perhaps putting our Shakespeare production on hold this year and instead bringing back a production we had done five years ago, The Laramie Project. This would be part of a school wide initiative that would involve lots of student groups coming together to make a stand against bullying and intolerance and making a definitive statement that bullying is wrong! As much as I like to call them "my kids" I really wasn't going to make this a unilateral decision and dictate the actions of the club - the seniors especially deserve a voice in their final show.
So we had a meeting yesterday morning and I explained how we were asked to do this and the pros and cons but I told them to then discuss it and let our club president know their decision. Well Jillian was tireless in making sure everyone got a voice with the result that we are going to take on this play again. Now I can't say it will be the same production as we had with Alex Mogil, Jaimee Diamond, Shanna Ossi, Robin Sutker, Daniel DiLauro, Ally Giogio, Erin Zanfardino and all those others incredible actors but it will be amazing none the less. I have a really talented group of actors this year and I know that they will do the memory of Matthew proud and if we change things so that just one student doesn't get bullied anymore then it will all be worth it - the chance to use our talents to make a difference.
So the more and more it looks like the cross country ride will happen (more of that in a future blog) riding to thrive and not just survive is one of the main reasons I ride and, more importantly, why I feel the need to ride my bike to help others. I ride to keep my sanity. I ride to figure out my life. I ride so I can thrive. I ride for the others who no longer can ride and for those who are no longer with us because of cancer. I ride because by riding I can make a difference.
Okay, so today I'm reading along and I spot this article about a pedal powered submarine and I get this idea - what if I decide that instead of taking Connor's Army across the United States to raise money for Sunrise Day Camp, I go across the Atlantic and try to find Atlantis with a bicycle powered submarine!
Now granted, the overhead for this fund raising endeavor would be a lot higher, there are boats to charter, air tanks to purchase and fill with the proper mixture of Nitrox which would go into lots of these:
Not to mention all the food, shark repellent, shark cages, fuel for the boat, permits, sunscreen, etc. Now granted, I probably would be able to get a lot more funding and interest in the project because of the simple fact that I'm trying to reach Atlantis! Don't you think people would come out of the woodwork to sponsor this trip? I probably would raise much more than the $50,000 for Sunrise that is my goal. Granted, I may never really find Atlantis, but it would be one heck of an experience.
Oh well, if that fails I could try to create the first pedal powered helicopter - I mean it DOES carry a prize of $250,000!!!!! After I pay all the construction bills, my colleagues who'll actually have to come up with the design I may end up with the $10,000 that I need for the cross - country Connor's Army ride so I can then spend the summer riding for Sunrise! Now that sounds like the best option doesn't it, I help advance mankind from the mundanity of earthbound pedal powered transportation and fund my real passion - riding my bike to help the cancer community!
You know I really wish I could figure this out. Today is Evaluate Your Life Day and I've tried to spend some time doing that today. Of course, I wish I could have ridden my bike to do it (I always seem to do my best thinking on my bike) but the weather and familial schedule didn't allow for it.
Nevertheless, I did spend some time deep in contemplation of this day in a sort of Nietzschean mode, at times finding my reflection in the mirror and I looked a little like this fellow, only in color and without the mustache;
Now, I don't pretend that my thought processes of the day came anywhere close to the prolific output of this first of all the modern thinkers who thought that "art is the great stimulus to life" as can be found on his fan site. I mean if anyone took full advantage of Evaluate Your Life Day it was definitely this man. Of course, there were those who came along later who totally twisted his ideas and made a travesty of everything he truly believed but that's material for another blog, n'est pas?
So I've been looking at my life and wondering if I'm really doing much with it. Yes, I can hear my wife's comments right now. I do know that I make a difference in the lives of my students. Every year after the last performance of the Shakespeare production we have this little ritual that has grown over the years. The ritual used to be just giving gifts to the advisors that have helped the students with the production. Then it morphed into the juniors all picking seniors and giving them goodbye gifts and saying a little something about them in front of the entire club. A few years ago the seniors started a new ritual in which they gather around me in a semi-circle on the stage and they tell everyone how I changed or influenced their lives. I do have to say that I am always a little uncomfortable about this because I don't do what I do for praise - I just want to give the kids the best high school drama experience that I can.
Anyway, they gather around to tell me how I have effected their lives and it is a truly emotional and humbling experience. As a teacher I do what I do and I try to contstantly be the best teacher I can be. However, sometimes its the smallest things that these amazing kids remember and they always make me seem so incredible grateful for what I do. I can never believe that I am as good a person as they say I am so my wife has taken to video taping these events and showing them to me later. Even now when I go back and look at them I still can't believe they're talking about me.
But still, I don't feel like I've done enough with my life. I wish there was something more I could do. Yes, I volunteer at Sunrise and I've raised money for the American Cancer Society but I wish there was something more substantial I were doing - not win the Nobel Peace Prize:
(How cool would it be to have one of these?)
I guess that is why this trip across the country has become such a dream of mind as well as my potential Mitzvah Project. I feel called to do something real and tangible that I can look on and say "I did that". Yes, I know I've helped lots of people find their passion and I can see their faces in my mind - but that is something that all teachers do, its part of the reward (for it certainly isn't monetary) of being a teacher - its why we go into it.
Nor do I want it for the accolades, I don't need someone to tell me "oh, its amazing that you rode across the country to raise money for those kids." No, this is something I need to do for my own soul - to say I did this - I made a difference and I did something that really mattered. I left performing because I was frustrated and I was a bit jaded by the experience of being consistently one of the best in the room but for whatever reason just not making it to the next level. My years on the otherside of the table have taught me that it may not have had ever had anything to do with me or my talent but on a myriad of other issues - ah, hindsight is 20/20.
So I left performing, something I did do enjoy doing and I decided to become a teacher instead. I also decided that at the level I was as a performer I didn't want to be on the road constantly while trying to have a family and be a good husband to my new wife - so I stopped.
Now, years later I have three amazing children and I know within my heart that if I didn't have this job they wouldn't be here (yay health insurance). And yet, I still sometimes wonder if it was all worth it, will I make a difference that matters to people. Will I be able to help the global community in any way, will my "sacrifice" mean anything?
I still don't know. At this point I've even lost hope of getting sponsorships for the ride so it looks like my dream may have to be deferred, perhaps a year. I just hope it doesn't shrivel away and die completely but I'm just at a loss how to make it happen.
Be that as it may, life still spins madly on (thank you again Heather Burian) and I still have former students that write me and remind me that I did something good in my life (thank you Emily, Jason, Phil, Brittney, Melanie, etc., etc., etc.) and that what I do for a living at least makes a difference in the small cosmos that is Syosset High School.
Okay, so lately I've been reading a very enlightening book written by a persona known as Bike Snob NYC (if you look to the right of my main page here you'll see a link to his blog or you can just follow this link to BikeSnobNYC). Now I have to say, I don't follow too many blogs on a daily, monthly, yearly, regular basis. Honestly I don't have that much time in reality but I do follow his as well as the Cycling News website mainly to see if Alberto Contador has 'fessed up to using Clenbuterol - I mean c'mon tainted beef, the only time that happened to me was from eating bad meat in a Mexican restaurant in Berlin, Germany and I had food poisoning for three days.
(click on the "D" above and zoom in to street view to see the theater where I was performing West Side Story at the time I contracted said food poisoning - ugh!)
Of course the other main website I follow is that of my beloved Dallas Cowboys who don't seem to be doing so well. Actually, for them it probably feels like the world is falling down around their shoulders, or at least the sky is falling. It would probably look something like this;
(Notice the nonplussed expression on this Cowboy fan's face)
But of course, anyone who is a New York Met's fan probably knows that same feeling. I can't help but already start to think that the season is already over. And now that the last great challenge for the peloton comes this Saturday in the form of the Giro di Lombardia whatever will I pay attention to? Yes, I guess I could hope against hope that things will change (remember, the glass is half full) but I'm not holding out hope this year. I really can't anymore.
But I digress - what else is new oh faithful readers??????
So I've been reading the Bike Snob's Book, the full title being (as you can see from up above) Bike Snob: Systematically and Mercilessly Realigning the World of Cycling. Now don't get me wrong I love the Bike Snob's post and I've learned a lot (even borrowed some things, see the dachsund of time) about writing and posting blogs. Although I have to shamefacedly admit that as much as I try I'm not as prolific as he. Still I try. Digression anyone?
As I was saying before I so rudely interrupted myself I've been reading his book and I'm working on my second reading of it, primarily because I have nothing else at home I want to read, although I have been thinking about digging up my copy of Stendahl's The Red and the Black (which I haven't touched since I read the first third of it in my college English class but it's always intrigued me as a great source for a musical) and reading through that. Darn, my constantly moving train of thought, now I'm stuck somewhere on a sideline.
So in the opening chapter the Bike Snob talks about how the bicycle is one of the great inventions of all time and a way that we know that is because the Amish people (who normally eschew anything that is technological and ostentatiously decorative) use it constantly;
and even the womenfolk get into this utilitarian mode of transportation;
and sometimes they even use it as a family outing event, sort of like an extended SUV - but of course I think they prefer to call it Ye olde paceline;
The point that he makes though is that the bicycle is an amazing invention and there is not much you can do to improve it, though many have tried, witness The Schweeb;
Now, given my penchant to enjoy many things German I am intrigued by this simply because the name for it comes from the German word "schweben" which means to "float" or "suspend" as the company proudly flouts on its website schweeb.com. Yet as one of my students (Jillian Feinstein to be exact, which now makes two of the past four ACT presidents I have quoted), "I don't think people will use it because people are lazy and when they commute they want to sit and listen to their iPod. You're the exemption to the rule of American laziness." Ah, gee thanks Jillian Sarah. But I think she has a point - to which I imagine the Amish velocipedists would agree.
We as an American people (can we really be considered a people when we can't even get legislature passed because we can't agree on anything?) are lazy when it comes to our European, Asian, Australian or even Antartican bretheren and sistren. In those parts of the world the bicycle is used as a form of commutation (in the sense of commuting not to be confused with its use in the legal sense which is defined as "the reduction of legal penalties, especially in terms of imprisonment. Unlike a pardon, a commutation does not nullify the conviction and is often conditional.") on a daily basis which is part of the reason why (with the possible exception of China) no other country in the world contributes as much to global warming as we do.
There are many good reasons to get out and ride your bicycle - transportation, exercise, attracting the other sex, save the environment, or to help others less fortunate than yourself. All endeavors of which I think even the Bike Snob himself would be proud. Yesterday seemed to be a day when a bumper crop (which is slightly more than boucoups and slightly less than a hell of a lot) of cyclists seemed to be on the streets that make up the environs of Syosset, Huntington, Greenlawn, Northport (i.e., the route I usually travel to and from work). I counted at least 22 cyclists of all varieties (commuters, day laborers, casual riders and a pace line of four "enthusiasts") in my 15 mile (shhhhh, I took the long way home) commute home. The weather was great and it was nice to be sharing the road with so many of my cycling brethren and sistren right here on the streets of home.
I have to say, of the five categories I listed above I think I qualify for all except the third one (primarily because I have already attracted the perfect woman and its hard enough as it is to get her to ride her bike) but the one that is most near and dear to me is the last one. I just wish I could do more.
As you've all read in many of my previous posts I really want to cycle cross country to raise money for Sunrise Day Camp. I believe in what they're doing and I see what they can do for the kids that are fortunate to go there. To be able to raise $50,000 in order to send 8 kids to camp and make a difference in their lives would be the most amazing gift I think I could give to the world. But I can't do it by myself. I need help and to be honest at this point I don't know where to turn to find it. I'm not good at all at the self promotion business. I don't toot my own horn, even at those times when I should. I know the route I want to follow, I know (roughly) what we need in terms of financial support but I don't know how to go about getting it. Do ANY of YOU have any ideas? Can you share them? I know some of you have put the word out (thank you so much Jason) but I think its going to take a village to pull this one off.
So, my fellow villagers in this great community we call Earth, how about it? Can each of you help me by trying to reach out to ten people who might be willing to help me procure sponsorship to complete this Mitzvah Project? Can you help me find ten people or businesses willing to sponsor me for $1,000 each so that I can have the funds we would need to raise five times that? You have my e-mail, you have my facebook information so let's see how we can make a difference in the lives of children with cancer - let's use our bikes to fight this fight!
Stay well, and I will see you on the road (weather permitting).
So yesterday my family and I had a great time using our imaginations. We decided after watching the movie TinkerBell and the Great Fairy Rescue that Sunday we would make fairy houses of our own. After our morning breakfast of homemade buttermilk pancakes (a great recipe made by yours truly) and my usual Sunday morning ablutions (namely mowing the lawn - what's left of it), I gathered together twigs, bark, leaves and a few pieces of wood that we could use for our fairy houses.
Now, I know there are many types of fairy houses that use recycled materials. Tink's house for instance looks like this;
Ours, however, we decided to go more organic and constructed our fairy houses completely out of "natural materials" that we had in the yard or were from nature (hence the cut wood) instead of using "found objects".
Here is Sarah's fairy house (its a bit hidden) which she dubbed a Zen/Meditative Fairy House;
And William's (pay special note to the flower chandelier and the all natural furnishings);
And James' - he decided he wanted to go with something a little more solid to withstand the elements and I'm pretty sure this one will, what you can't see in this photo is that the roof is removable in case the fairies make a mess and we have to clean up after them;
Although, I do have to admit James' is not completely "all natural" as we did use hot glue to keep everything together. But we spent the afternoon creating our little fairy habitats and figuring out exactly where they needed to be placed for optimum privacy but still close enough that they could visit their fairy friends. William kept popping out every half hour or so to see if any fairies had taken up residence in the house, even after it got dark! This morning he was worried whether or not the houses made it through the storm last night. He is too cute!!!! It was their dream to build these fairy houses and there you go - a dream realized!
However, I'm starting to face a harsh reality about another dream and that's the dream of our Cross Country ride for Sunrise Day Camp. As I've written about in other postings, this is a sort of Mitzvah Project (in the true sense) for my family and me. Something that we would do for the good of others and in the process really make us think about our own lives as we give to others. However I'm not so sure its going to happen - at least for the summer of 2011. We haven't really been getting much in the way of offers of sponsors and we don't know at what point we should cut our losses and then just try to start figuring the logistics for the summer of 2012.
Back in the day (which if you happen follow Bike Snob NYC you'll recognize the neat high-tech graphic below) I used to teach English to grades 9 and 10 and for a brief time grade 12 AP English Literature.
(About as accurate a time scale as any other although I woudl think "back in the day would be closer to the posterior end of the dachsund of time)
Anyway, one of my favorite poems from the 9th grade poetry curriculum was "Dream Deferred" by Langston Hughes. I would always use this as part of the unit and then later in the year when we actually studied A Raisin in the Sun the students would have a reference point since we had discussed it and what it means to defer a dream. What? You don't remember it? Well, to refresh your own memory of "back in the day" (or "the Olden Days" for some of you) here it is;
Dream Deferred
What happens to a dream deferred?
Does it dry up
Like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore--
And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over--
like a syrupy sweet?
Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load.
Or does it explode?
Well, right now I'm wondering what will happen to this dream if we defer it? Will it just dry up like a raisin in the sun? Willl it crust and sugar over? Will it just explode? I don't know. What I do know is that we'll probably need about $10,000 in sponsorship (not donations) for us to be able to do this. That's on top of the $5,000 we'll probably have to pay out of pocket. Just like in "the olden days" you had to "prime the pump" to get the well to start producing water we need an influx of backing sponsors to help us get our project started.
I really wish we had the money ourselves. I wish we could just say "let's do it" and damn the consequences. But we can't. As life changing as I think this journey might be for my entire family, not to mention for the ten campers it would fund if we reached our goal, I can't see a way that we can pay for it ourselves. As a teacher (even in Syosset) I don't make enough money that I can just pull out the old charge card and fund this effort myself. We need some guardian angels to step in but we're not really sure how to find them.
Yes, I know I could probably just do it on my own. Just fly out to San Francisco and riding back self-supported. It is an option but not one that I would relish the thought of. You see, this is not just about me, its about the family. They have supported me in all that I've done and to take this away from the kids would break my heart - not to mention theirs. Oh, they'd get over it and they would probably be "okay" with meeting me down in Virginia and spending a week in D.C. and then slowly making our way up the coastline. But it wouldn't be the same as seeing a third of the country and helping daddy help the children with cancer.
So I don't know. If there are any of you who do read this blog with regularity please, please, please encourage others to do so and if any of you have ideas as to how I can somehow find the sponsors that would help us - please direct them to us. I'd love to be able to do this ride this summer and not put it off another year. My mishap with the door has only proven to remind me of how fragile we are and how in an instant things can change.
And yet, hope waxes eternally optimistic and as such I will be riding tomorrow in the rain to remind me that should we somehow find the funds to be able to complete this Mitzvah I have to find a way to be in shape for it.
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