"I Said a Boom, Chicka-Boom" - Cycling Thunder Style!

(Face the Wrath of Lego Thor - God of Small Thunder)

 Today's Mileage - 91.64   Average MPH - 13.8

Today I started out the ride with very mixed emotions that seemed to run me through a roller coaster and all before 10:00 in the morning!  I got up early today as I usually do (which is either 4:30 or 5:00 am depending on the length of the ride) and got prepared to go.  I was really excited to start today simply because I would be riding for the Thunder Boys and Girls - they're our third graders and so enthusiastic about everything, it really is a joy to have them at camp.

Yesterday, my friend Deanna (who also happens to be the Assistant Dirctor of Sunrise Day Camp) sent me a sound file of the kids doing one of their morning spirit chants - Boom Chicka Boom.  If you don't know it, it goes something like this;

(groups repeat each line after the group that leads it or the leader - usually Deanna)

I said a Boom Chicka Boom
I said a Boom Chicka Boom
I said a Boom Chicka Rocka Chicka Rocka Chicka Boom
Uh huh
Oh yeah
One more time ______ style.

At the end they all shouted, "THANK YOU GENE!!!".  The first time I heard it I cried - good thing I was sitting down and not riding my bike at the time.  As I went through my morning preparations, I went outside and listened to it again to get me motivated for the day.  Again, it made me cry just from the sheer joy of their infectious exuberance.  I was ready to face the day!

Sarah and I were once again crossing another state border - it has sort of become our thing to do. Only this time, the only way to cross the border was to ride the ferry from Cave-in-Rock, IL to, well, I'm not really sure where, but it was somewhere in Kentucky.  Sarah and I were psyched up to get started to ride for Thunder today and we made a short video but due to technical difficulties it won't load.  I'll try to get it up again tomorrow.

And once again my darling cycling partner was a complete trooper and clmbed some steep hills - she has now conquered at 16% grade and she is turning into quite the cyclist.  We worked our way into Marion, KY and went to one of the local gas stations to get some refreshment while waiting on Amy and the boys to get over from Illinois.  While waiting Sarah discovered the fourth "Pirates" movie for sale.  Once Amy caught up with us we bought it and Sarah decided she wanted to go on for just five more miles so she could reach 200 miles overall - SHE'S HALFWAY TO HER GOAL!!!!!

So we went out on the road again and here is where the emotional rollercoaster spiked way up - ATTACK OF THE BUBBA DOG!  As we were rolling out of town a large dog behind a fence starting barking agressively at us and looking like he was trying to get out.  Now for days I have been hearing (and reading online) about the agressive dogs in Kentucky and how they are the bane of cyclists on the Transam trail.  From where I am it looks like the gate is open and I'm watching this dog and getting my pepper spray ready.  Oh yes, I bought pepper spray because at this point I'm not going to take any chances - especially not after hearing that Ariel (the cyclist we met yesterday) was bit I've decided to spray first and explain later.  I love dogs but not at the risk of my duaghter or me!

So as I'm watching Bubba Dog on the right, a small Jack Russel Terrier runs across the street (ignoring his owner who is standing in the front yard) and right at Sarah!  She speeds up and the dog gets way close to her left foot and her rear tire!  I sprinted to catch up and the dog went across the street.  He then looked like he was going to come for me and I shouted at the owner, "I WILL spray him if he comes again," to which the owner replied, "Oh, he ain't gonna hurt you".  A verbal exchange ensued as I pedaled to try to catch up with Sarah who was totally freaked out!  I calmed her down and we went on for our last five miles.

Sarah settled in and breezed through her last five miles as Amy and the boys finally caught up with us.  We loaded Sarah's bike up and got Amy and the kids back on the road to do some sightseeing in Marion.  And my emotional rollercoaster went to a new place - nerves on edge for the next three hours!  We've already had our dog scare for the day so I'm on edge for the next one.  I've been warned about the dogs and as I ride I am constantly scanning the yards, the barns/garages, and everywhere a dog may come at me.  I'm constantly checking my pepper spray canister to make sure its ready to go.  And every single house I come to I repeat the drill.  I actually had a bit of a scare when I came up to a bridge and there was a dog standing in the middle of it!  As I rolled forward the dog trotted forward towards me.  Just as I'm getting ready to have to spray him he trots off to the side of the road and into the field - whewww!!!!!

The rest of the ride was spent this way except for the forays into towns to get more water and the occasional munchies.  Amy and the kids finally catch up to me 23 miles from Owensboro and we share some of our fruit stand peaches.  Then it was back on the road for the final push!  As I was refueling in my last stop of the day (Utica, KY) a man at the station told me the temperature had gotten up to 102 degrees!  He said he didn't want to know what the actual road temperature was - I told him hot!

And finally I was in Owensboro!  I checked in and waited for my family who had gone off to a museum (it was a museum day for them) and I got myself a bit more human (i.e., cleaned and showered) while waiting for them.  They came in and told me all about their day.  We then headed off to refuel at a local bar-b-que where they had an all you can eat buffet that was AMAZING!  If you're ever in town, go to Moonlight Bar-b-que and have your fill - but stay away from the Burgoo - you don't want to know what's in it!

Right now I'm watching the season finale of "Chopped" with the family and digesting.  Tomorrow is a long day in the saddle for me as I'm riding 96 miles to Cave City, KY.  But I'll be propelled by the power of Lightning - Sunrise's Lightning Boys and Girls that is!

And I'll also be riding for my aunt-in-law Sue Gudeon who will be starting a new protocol in her battle with pancreatic cancer.  So tomorrow is for Sue and the kids - I will be putting all my energy and prayers into helping them in their fights!

And now, for the older among you (little ones don't look!) one of my favorite bands of all time - AC/DC!

And today's report;

FFL - 6 Possums, 1 Rabbit, 1 Racoon, 1 Deer, 2 Squirrels, 1 Dog, 6 UFO's
RRL - 1 Bag of Purina Puppy Chow - I kid you not!

Stay well and I'll update more from the road!

For another perspective on our journey check out Amy's blog at http://www.crosscountrymama.blogspot.com//
To help us get the kids to Sunrise go to https://www.wizevents.com/register/register_add.php?sessid=1809&id=1056
Check out our website at http://www.connorsarmy.org/

Timon and Pumba-ing My Way to Cave-in-Rock!



(The Sunrise Rangers - Timon and Pumba!)

Miles Ridden Today - 87.95 Average MPH - 14.1


Today was one of those days where I felt very ambivalent about riding.  On the one hand, I was all snuggled up with my boys in bed and it was so warm when the alarm went off at 5:00 am.  All I wanted to do was roll over and sleep for a few more hours.

But I also remembered that today was the day when I would be riding for the Rangers of Sunrise Day Camp - the Timon Boys and Girls and Pumba Boys and Girls.  For those of you not indoctrinated into the organization of Sunrise, these are our first and second grade campers and they are some of the most enthusiastic and upbeat kids you'd ever want to meet!  Even those who are fighting cancer right now have such a positive outlook and are always such balls of energy.  As a drama specialist it was always a challenge to keep up with them.

So with those thoughts in my head I quickly got ready, got my complimentary breakfast of a waffle and coffee from the good folks at Super 8 and headed on the road to Cave-in-Rock, IL, a mere 87 miles away!

As I rode, I thought of the Rangers and how much they would enjoy all of the nature I was seeing so I made a video of the lake I was passing;

And I thought how much the Rangers would enjoy seeing so much natural water, especially in the heat they were experiencing.

And then I rode on and for the second day in a row, I came across another one of these guys;

If this keeps up I'll have to open a sanctuary for rescued turtles!  I headed on my way with the idea of meeting up with my family sometime after Goreville for a much needed water and food break.  However, since I was low on cold water I stopped at a small truck stop outside of Goreville and that's when I received three text messages from Deanna that made me cry.  The first was of her guy on a bicycle that was to represent me and where I was on my journey.  The second was full page shot of the map and it looked amazing (of course, since she is such an an incredible and creative artist) and the third text simply said, "rangers...cheering and thanking u! be safe!" and that's when I started to sob.  Just knowing that they were with me and they knew I was thinking of them made my day and renewed the flagging energy in my legs.  It has been two days of hellatious up and down climbing but that was like the biggest jolt of caffeine to my system.  So much so that Amy and the kids didn't catch up with me until about mile 64, about 24 miles from the end of today's ride!

It was fortuitious that they did so since we met another cyclist coming the other direction and climbing the hill I was about to go down.  We offered her some ice and water and we compared notes about the roads ahead.  Her name is Ariel and she has just graduated from NYU with a degree in Journalism. She's heading back home to Golden, CO and has had some harrowing adventures on the road.  Of most interest to me was the fact that she had been bitten by a dog in Eastern Kentucky!  I've heard the warnings and so far I've been able to scare the dogs away by yelling at them and squirting them with water (although the one who came after me today took some doing before he backed off).  However, I do have some pepper spray if that non-violent method doesn't work.  But if I'm riding with Sarah and they come after us, no more mister nice guy - its right to the spray.

I continued riding after we parted and went our ways and took my next rest in Elizabethtown, MO known as E-Town to the locals.  I stopped at the local gas station/grocery and had some Mountain Dew and talked a little about Sunrise and why I was riding.  She was very impressed and said she'd be keeping our campers in her prayers.  While waiting outside I got into a discussion with the Hostess delivery man who was making his rounds.  And then Amy and the kids drove up!  Apparently, they had just had lunch on a converted barge there in E-Town.  And as they drove up I got one of the best gifts of all - he handed me a box of Twinkies and said, "a gift from Southern Illinois" and what a gift indeed!  I can't wait to eat them - of course I have to share them with the kids!  Immedieately following that, the lady came outside and asked us if we wanted some slushies - on the house!  I didn't but the kids availed themselves of the offer and thanked her profusely.  I am sure going to miss the wonderful, friendly and supportive folk of Illinois!

And then it was off for the final 13 miles of my journey.  It was more of the same, 23% grades that were short but killer in this heat.  But as I rode I thought again of our Rangers and how they were at that moment going home to be with their families after a great day at Sunrise!  I hope that through this journey we can make that possible for just a few more!

And now I'm finishing up this blog while overlooking the Ohio River.  There are hummingbird feeders on the windows behind me and I can hear them buzzing back and forth as they feed and flit on.  A little while ago I heard a thump and looked over and saw a small hummingbird lying on the ground just five feet from me.  I saw it was still alive so I picked it up and took it back to the cabin so it wouldn't become a meal for some animal.  As I called for Amy and the kids to come outside and see the poor stunned creature it suddenly revived itself and flew into the open door of the cabin.  There were a few moments of panic as we realized we couldn't find it and how frightened it must be.  It was then that I noticed it had stunned itself again by running into the wall and was lying on the carpet.  I carefully picked it up again and took it outside making sure to hold it so that it wouldn't take off in the cabin again.  This time only a few moments went by before it began to stir and took wing - our little hummingbird was okay!

And now, its time to eat some dinner, enjoy some Twinkies and watch the Olympics.  I have a rest day tomorrow but on Thursday I'll be riding to Owensboro, KY and riding for the Thunder Boys and Girls!


And today's report;

FFL - 1 Rabbits, 1 Skunk, 1 Possum, 4 Squirrels, 1 Fox,  6 UFO's, 1 Turtle (I couldn't get to him in time)
RRL - Two couch cushions, one really cool throw pillow and what appeared to be one XXXL pair of men's underwear (I don't want to know)

Stay well and I'll update more from the road!

For another perspective on our journey check out Amy's blog at http://www.crosscountrymama.blogspot.com/
To help us get the kids to Sunrise go to https://www.wizevents.com/register/register_add.php?sessid=1809&id=1056
Check out our website at http://www.connorsarmy.org/

I Yam What I Yam - Crossing the Big River on the Way to Carbondale

(Statue of Popeye the Sailor in Chester, IL - Home of Elzie Segar)

Today's Mileage - 91.10  Average MPH - 14.0

Today was an exciting day to be on the bike for many reasons - first of all I knew that I would be crossing another state boundary which would bring me one state closer to getting back to Sunrise.

The other reason, and perhaps the most meaningful one, was the fact that starting today I will be riding for a different group of Sunrise campers each day I ride.  Today was for the Acorns and Troopers, our youngest campers battling cancer.  The acorns are 3 1/2 years old and the Troopers are 4 and 5 years old.  I have to admit that my thoughts were with them all day.  I can't think of the Troopers without seeing in my head a young girl named Jessica in my head.

My first summer teaching at Sunrise I only had the older kids for dance and the Rangers and up for drama since there was another drama specialist to teach the younger ones.  However, once in a while I was able to teach dance to some of the younger ones and during one of the last weeks of camp I had the chance to teach a little combination to the Troopers.  At the end, this vivacious young girl named Jessica - who always wore floppy hats to cover her head - came up to me as I was kneeling by my boom box and gave me a hug, a kiss and said, "thank you".  That moment has always stayed with me because she was so happy to be dancing.  She was thanking me for the chance to dance at camp.  It wasn't until later that I found out she loved to dance and she was always dancing.  You see, Jessica never made it to my second summer at camp.  She had passed away in between adn it was at her memorial that I found out how important dance was to her, and how excited she was whenever she got the chance to do it.

So it was with thoughts of Jessica and all of the other Acorns and Troopers I have had contact with over the last two summers at Sunrise that I started out pedaling my way towards Carbondale, IL.  And it was with thoughts of these youngest of campers that I happened upon one of the smallest of God's creatures struggling to get across the road.  As you can tell from my posts,  I have seen far too much flattened fauna along the way so I decided to make sure there was one less victim and helped it across the road.

I then got back on the road and furiously pedaled my way towards St. Mary, MO so I could try to get there before Amy and the kids arrived.  Sarah was going to ride with me to the foot of the Chester Bridge to cross the Mississippi River.  We would be joined there by the boys and we would form our little cycling group to cross over the bridge.  I made it unscathed, only being chased by one set of what I have begun to call "Bubba Dogs" - those dogs that hang out underneath cars set up on cinderblocks in the overgrown front yards of the backroads of the south.  (At least I'm not seeing the omnipresent Confederate flags that I saw yesterday.  I was born in South Carolina - the first state to succeed and I consider myself a Texan, another Confederate State and I can say this with certainty - THE SOUTH LOST - GET OVER IT!)  Of course, we did see a stray beagle puppy that William wanted to adopt but he didn't look like he would chase a passing cyclist - unless there was food hanging out of the cyclist's pocket.

Sarah and I then got on our way and we had a great ride for the eleven miles to get to the foot of the bridge.  There were a few steep climbs but she handled them like a trooper and then we hit the flatlands of the Flood Plains.  Along the way we met a young woman named Maria Eswin who was from Perryville who was out for a training ride.  She rode with us for a while and we chatted and she gave us the gift of "local knowledge" which would come in handy when we hit the bridge.

We got to the gas station at the foot of the Chester Bridge and after some refueling we collected the boys and headed across the bridge, The Four Cycling Connors in our Ride Across America jerseys and bike shorts - and yes, even the boys have padded bike shorts now.

At the other end of the bridge was the statue you see at the beginning of this post - the statue of Popeye the Sailor.  His creator Elzie Segar was originally from Chester and many of the original characters were based on folks from the town.  After briefly taking our pictures posing in front of the "Welcome to Illinois" sign, Sarah and I were back on the road. 

After three days of making it up some pretty steep hills, she finally had to get off and walk as she lost her momentum going up a very long, 13% grade.  But she soldiered on for the rest of the journey until Mama met us on the side of the road - she managed 23 hilly miles today which brings her total up to 183 miles!

The rest of the journey was uneventful - just hot and hilly, a state I'm getting used to as the days go on through this Ozarkian paradise!  As I said, I spent nine months working here in Branson, MO and I still don't remember it ever being this hot in this part of the country.  I also don't remember people being quite as conservative - perhaps its because its an election year.

Tomorrow I will be riding to Cave-In-Rock, IL which will be our last destination in Illinois.  I'll be riding for the Rangers of Sunrise who are our first and second graders - six and seven - year -olds.  I will be climbing some wicked, short, steep hills and I will be thinking of my Timon and Pumba boys and girls the entire 90 mile journey!  If you want to help make a difference in their lives, click here.  It all goes to helping these brave young boys and girls make a new beginning every day!

And today's report;

FFL - 2 Rabbits, 2 Skunks (small ones), 4 Possum,  8 Armadillos, 4 Squirrels, 8 UFO's, 1 Turtle (I couldn't get to him in time)
RRL - Nothing really to speak of, sorry!


Stay well and I'll update more from the road!


For another perspective on our journey check out Amy's blog at http://www.crosscountrymama.blogspot.com//
To help us get the kids to Sunrise go to https://www.wizevents.com/register/register_add.php?sessid=1809&id=1056
Check out our website at http://www.connorsarmy.org/

Base Line of CARAAM!

So if you look in the dictionary, you'll find multiple definitions for the phrase Base Line or Baseline. 

base line or base·line (bsln) n.
1. a. A line serving as a basis, as for measurement, calculation, or location.
    b. A measurement, calculation, or location used as a basis for comparison.
2. Baseball The base path.
3. Sports
    a. The boundary line at either end of a court, as in basketball or tennis.
    b. The area near this boundary line: made a basket from the base line.

    c. A style of play in tennis in which the player remains near the base line and rarely approaches the net.

Now most of these seem to serve only as sports descriptors and forget all about other elements of "base", for instance there is the musical sense found in the following song;



Nor is this to be confused with Rock n' Roll's Greatest Bass Lines;



or the incomparable stylings of the Master of Funkadelic, Bootsy Collins;



Ahh, that never gets old, although I'm not sure what the guy in the diaper in the background is doing!

And the term "baseline" should never, EVER be confused with a line of Bass;

(I think the lateral lines give him more lateral stiffness - cycling fans, you understand)

or a line of Sea Bass Sushi;

(yummmmmmmm!!!!!)

So, as with just about most words and idioms in the English language, "baseline" or "bass line" can have multiple meanings.  Well, in this entry I want to talk about definition 1 a. - a line serving as a basis, as for measurement, calculation, or location.  For you see, dear readers, today I began establishing my "baseline" for training for CARAAM.

Now for those of you new to the Connor's Army blog, CARAAM stands for Connor's Army Ride Across America - my fundraising event for the campers of Sunrise Day Camp.  In EXACTLY 148 DAYS I will be dipping my rear wheel in the Pacific Ocean and heading towards Wheatley Heights, NY!  Ideally, we'll do it from the parking lot of Sea World in San Diego early on the morning of June 24th and the pedaling will begin!  Hopefully we'll get the chance to visit it the day before - the only downside is I hope the site of all those adorable piscean critters won't turn my little vegetarian away from sushi - lord knows we love the fishy!

(My wheel will touch off  just to the right of that long building!)

Now I am going to admit, ALL of the planning is not done and we have not booked our rooms yet.  Part of that is going to be determined by how many more sponsors we can get between now and May.  I'm going to try to book the least expensive accomodations I can and eat as sparingly as I can but even so we estimate we're still about $2,500 short of what we estimate we'll need to underwrite the costs of gas, lodging, and vehicle maintenance for the trip.

Yet, even so I went out today to establish where I am fitness-wise.  Right now we have planned that I will cycle anywhere on average between 70 and 100 miles a day.  Some days more, some days less depending on the terrain and weather conditions.  The first day I may only do about 60 miles or so just to get us out of the San Diego metropolitan area.  I'll start hitting the miles pretty hard the next few days and try to reach Phoenix in four days - roughly by June 27th.

In order to do that I have to know what my baseline is, or my beginning level of fitness.  Soooooo, today I went out for an hour and a half just to see how much distance I could cover without really pushing myself.  I chose some fairly step hills and rollers and just tried to maintain an steady pace.  And the verdict is??????  I covered 26 miles in 90 minutes.  That averages out to 104 miles in 6 hours of nonstop riding. 

Now I have no illusions about being able to continue that pace the first couple of days.  I really imagine that I'll most likely average about 15 mph which will allow me to cover 90 miles nonstop but I will most likely take a break after every hour and a half or so in the first few days which means I'll probably cover about 70 miles depending on the terrain.  As it gets flatter and my fitness level increases I may be able to average a bit more.

Now I know its not going to be easy.  But I also know that I'm just now starting my training in ernest as the weather starts to improve I'll put in more and more mileage.  Right now I have 326 commuting miles logged into my Garmin GPS which is the most I've ever logged in January - thanks to the warm weather.   I'm excited to get into shape and to really start mashing the pedals.

Financially we're just really getting started.  After the severe setback that was dealt to us a month ago, things seem to be looking up!  Officially we have collected $1500 which is 3% of our total goal!  There are many more fundraisers planned and lots of groups have come forward saying they are going to help us!  Emily Feinstein is organizing a group of Alumni to put together a musical cabaret fundraiser (if you are an SHS alumni who sings please contact her) as a Connor's Army Team Sunrise event and my daughter has an event planned for June that looks like it will be huge!!!!!

So we are well on our way but its only the beginning.  We have 1325 likes on Facebook at the moment.  We are hoping to eventually get up to 3600!!!!  One for each mile (roughly) of the journey!  If you are wondering how you can support us, invite everyone you know and post to every facebook group you belong to and ask them to go to https://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Connors-Army/143446649035655 and add us to their likes.

Help us spread the word to the media!  I just had my first interview with Long Island Press today and we're hoping our first featured article will come out soon!  The more we get out into the media, the more likely we are to reach an even bigger audience to help us make a difference for these kids!  And if you're reading this for the first time, thank you.  Keep checking back as now that we're getting closer to the date, I'll be updating more often.  And, if you should feel the spirit call you to help out, go to http://www.connorsarmy.org/ and see how you can help today!

Stay well and I'll see you on the road!

Finding My Sanity

So much has happened since the last post.  First of all, I want to thank those of you who read my last post and have reached out with your kind words of support.  You have absolutely no idea how much I needed/still need them.   Granted, it still looks like a very long, scary and dark tunnel - sort of like this;


(Is that the end or is it just a train coming at me????)

But I am feeling better and I don't quite feel like this;

(Heeeeeerreeeee's Connor)

But, to quote one of my favorite scenes from the old TV series "Night Court", "I'm feeling much better now,";



Not TOTALLY, but a good deal better.  Part of that is by trying to get back up on the horse;

(I knew all that egg nog would catch up with me)

Or, if you the visual art doesn't quite give you the full picture, I would probably be more like this right now;



But as I am a self-respecting Texan, I wouldn't be quite that bad, although now after all the dance training I've had in my life, I would probably end up in some sort of arabesque pose.  Now if I could only mount that gracefully on my bicycle I would look like this;



Or I could combine my passions and channel my inner Kevin Bacon;



Of course, whenever I try to do a graceful bicycle mount, ala Cyclocross racing, it usually ends up like this;



Ahh, everything goes better with a Black Eyed Peas soundtrack.  I personally like to hill climb to this little ditty;

	Black Eyed Peas - Pump It .mp3
	Found at bee mp3 search engine

And that my friends is what started me on the road to "Feeling much better, now".  The day after my last post I read some more of Michael Moore's book and I relized that I had to jump start myself out of this blue funk so I got on my bike and looked for the steepest hills I could find around me.  I managed to put in 30 miles which really sucked because I had such high hopes for all the miles I was going to put in during the break but as I said, despite the gorgeous weather, I just couldn't get motivated.

But that first ride got me going.  The night before we had had our annual family Chanukah party and I received some more gift cards so I was stoked for all the stuff I was going to buy from Performance Bike.  I really didn't imbibe (despite all that's been going on) so I felt the need to get out and shred some hills!

The weather was perfect for riding (about 55 degrees) and there was no wind so I headed out about eight in the morning for a two hour ride.  I hit some of my favorite hills, sweated up them, bombed down the other sides and just vented some frustration.  For those of you who have followed this blog on occasion (the 55 OFFICIAL ones to the right as well as all of you others), you know that I often find catharsis on many of these rides.  Particularly two years ago with the passing of my brother David.  I just find that when I ride to punish myself and to push myself I can release a lot of things that hold me from being able to truly see the forest for the trees and that's what this ride did for me.  After sweating and hurting from all the hill climbs (and being in inadequate shape, despite my non-debauchery of the evening past) I suddenly had a clear thought - I can't give up, I can't let this be all there is to it, I can't give in.  So I will ride.  I will do everything I can and I will be riding this summer from San Diego to Long Island.  We raise what we raise.  My hope is that it will be at least more than we put it, but we'll raise what we will.

But the delicate grasp I've had on my sanity in the past week slowly began to return with that ride.  Then this past week (being our first week back after the break) I made a point of riding as much as I could to school  I rode four times this week and logged a total of 112 miles in commuting - I just like to take the long way home - sort of like this;



And yes, I know that there is another song out there with the same name by Bruno Mars - but nothing beats the original , especially when backed by a full orchestra.

But what also helped me to regain my sanity thappened this past weekend.  Along with Peter Haughwout and Caroline Basner I took 27 young actors and techies to the Fifteenth annual New York State Theatre Educators Association Student Conference at the Villa Roma in the quaint hamlet of Callicoon, NY.  It was a truly magical weekend that allowed me the opportunity to reconnect with my students, my colleagues from across the state and (to an extent) with myself.  Our students did an amazing job performing the opening number from Rent at the Festival of Student Performances.  Even though there wasn't much of an audience, they were amazing, especially considering that they did all the work themselves.

The majority of the time was spent by the students taking workshops and connecting with other theatre students (some 750 in all) from across the state.  What was great for me was being able to teach some workshops and have students actually pay attention and hang on to my every word.  When I had other chaperones and colleagues observe my workshops and then come up to me afterwards and compliment me on my work I knew that I was where I belonged.  I had missed the conference for the last two years (last year due to the blizzard of '11 and the year before because Amy and I were performing in A Chorus Line) so it was great to be able to see my colleagues and be reminded that I actually know what I'm talking about.

And that went a great deal to reviving my spirit.  There were so many other things that happened at the conference and I could spend a ton of time writing about it but the main point was it was fun.  I had fun with my students, my colleagues and on my own as a teacher and a person.  My only regret was that the weather was so nice and I didn't pack along my road bike to put in some miles early Sunday morning.  Oh well, perhaps next year!

So we're back on the road to recovery and the glass again is half full - not totally full mind you, but half full.  I still appreciate the words of encouragement and support and if you can all spread the word about Connor's Army and Sunrise I'd be eternally grateful.  And now, for a little dessert, I leave you with the original cast performing the title song from Rent (sorry about the quality, its a bootleg but at least its the original cast on opening night in 1996!);



Stay well my friends, pay your rent and I'll see you on the road!

I'm Not Worthy!

(I genuflect before your kindnesses)

For those of you who are new to Connor's Army I want to thank you for believing enough in us to have made it this far.  If you're reading this I'm going to assume (of course we all know that its a dangerous proposition to do so) that you are here because of the post on facebook.  You may have added us to your likes becuase a friend of yours invited you.  You may have added us becuase you saw a post I placed on another page's wall.  You may have added us because your a friend of mine and you responded to the event I placed on facebook.  You may have added us becuase you are one of my Thespians, a family member of one of my Thespians, or a friend of a Thespian.  Or, you may have added us becuase you saw the ad I placed in program for The Complete History of America (abridged).

However you got here I want to thank you all from the bottom of my heart.  I wish there was a way that I could see each and every one of you and let you know how much your support means to me because I was beginning to lose hope.  To those of you who are new to Connor's Army - thank you for joining our fight.  For those of you who have been a supporter from the beginning (yes, I'm talking to you Justin Tasolides who started the first facebook group so long ago) thank you for staying with us!

Now, for those of you who have read my posts in their semi-regularly schedule you know that I sometimes tend to ramble and go off on stream-of-conscious tangents or I insert lots of amusing (at least I find them to be so) youtube videos and music clips.  For instance this one;



And that's truly the way I'm feeling right now because if you're reading this from one of the above mentioned sources, you're one of (as of this writing) 1,121 people who like our Connor's Army facebook page.    Of course, if you're not one of the 1,121, why not?  You can click on the link above and add us to your likes right now.  Go ahead, I'll wait;



Did you do it?  Thank you!

So many of you may have joined the Connor's Army facebook page but you don't really know much about us and that's really what this post is all about.  You may have joined because you're good friends with someone and they said, "hey, my high school theatre teacher has the facebook page and you should like it becuase I do" or something to that effect.  And because of your friendship with that person (or one of my entreaties) you've joined but you're not sure what we're about.  Well, I think its about time you knew my story.

For as long as I can remember I’ve been riding bikes and enjoying the freedom they give me. I wish I could say I still ride the old faithful cruiser of my youth but, alas, it has gone the way of most of the other bikes I’ve owned in my life – “lost in transit.”

You see, I grew up traveling around the country and the world as an “Army brat”. Although we did enjoy one long spell in California, as a career Army man my father received moving orders every three years. Inevitably in the move things would be lost – electric basses, favorite clothes, stamp collections, books – and most often it was my bike.

In 40+ years of riding (and who knows how many miles) I’ve only owned two brand new bikes. One was a golden Italian five-speed that gleamed in the California sun and that I promptly crashed into a parked car on the first day in a “look at me, I’m riding a big bike” moment. The other was a black 1989 Peugeot hybrid I bought for myself to get around my college campus, which was stolen after only three months of owning it.

Fast forward to six years ago.  Stilly mechanically minded and still not living in the lap of luxury (I’m a high school teacher with three kids) I found myself needing a bike.  As it turned out I found a discarded Diamondback Allure frame in a pile of garbage by the side of the road.  It had flat bars, the derailleurs and shifters were trashed, the rims were bent and the seat was missing.  Suddenly, I had a mission, like the bionic man we could make it faster, stronger, better than it ever was.  I began commuting from my home in Northport to Syosset where I work - a distance of between 13 and 20 miles each way - depending on which route I take. 

I started doing this fairly regularly and then I found I needed ankle reconstruction surgery.  As part of my rehab I hooked my bike up in the basement and rode for hours on end trying to get my ankle strength and stability back.  And then everything changed.

Until 2005 my life, I guess like so many other people’s, had been touched by cancer in only distant ways - a grandmother who died when I was a toddler, a rarely seen great-uncle, my Amy's mother’s friend.  Even when my biological mother went through her own bout with cancer it was before she re-entered my life in my adulthood, so I learned of it merely as a past occurrence.

Then my wife’s Grandmother Mina died of cancer … and his uncle … and his wife’s aunt … and a close colleague.

And then what I thought would be unthinkable happened.

In 2005 my sister Winona, a single mother raising two children, was diagnosed with cancer. Soon afterwards my sister Angela was diagnosed with a different cancer. In 2006 I got word that my youngest sister TaMara had cancer at the age of 28, and just before Christmas that same year my mother developed a rare and aggressive form of melanoma.  To say I was overwhelmed and more than a little pissed off would be an understatement.

Now all of my instincts as a big brother and a son were to fight the enemy and beat it for them - to do something, anything but sit on my ass.   But I couldn’t - this was a battle they had to win on their own.  And they did.

Nonetheless, I felt helpless and impotent as they struggled valiantly to conquer the disease. I just felt like I needed to do more than simply sit by and wait for news to come that things were going to be alright. I needed to do more than just offer emotional support. I needed to do more than wish that there was something I could do.  I needed to take action.

So I turned to one of the things I knew best and began plans for his own kind of war - a peaceful one waged on a bicycle.  Yes, I suppose I could have organized a benefit dance concert.  Something that would happen once or, if I were lucky, could happen on a yearly basis.  A dance concert for life as it were.  As someone who has been dancing since my late teens I first thought of that option.  But I also realized that in fighting this disease my loved ones had indeed gone through a lot of pain and suffering - in order to truly help them I needed to also go through something to feel what they were feeling.

From the time I was a teenager facing the constant displacement of an army brat, my bicycle had always been the place I felt most at peace, the place I could really think through whatever life threw at him. Now I decided to use it fight the disease that was attacking MY family.

And Connor’s Army was born.

Of course, I'm not a pro. At the time I was riding for fun and exercise, occasionally joining the local Huntington Bicycle Club for weekend 50-milers or their annual century. I also knew that I couldn’t afford to leave my job to do a several thousand mile fundraiser. So instead I pledged to ride my bike to work and dedicate this daily commute to raising funds for the American Cancer Society in gratitude of the fact that it was through research and tests that came about as a result of ACS funding that allowed my family to win their battle with this damn disease.

I rode in all kinds of weather, got hit by a van (on the same day as the prom - which I was attending as a chaperone), and did a lot of thinking. People kept thanking me, often telling me about someone they loved who was also fighting cancer; and I began keeping a list of all the people I was riding for as the miles slowly added up.

By December 31, 2007, with 53 names on what we now call The List, I'd cycled 2,154 commuting miles and raised a bit over $12,000 for ACS. In addition my eight-year-old daughter Sarah had started her own fundraising campaign, Connor's Army Junior, and raised an additional $1,000 for ACS.

In the fall of 2008 Syosset High School dedicated their annual homecoming week school walk-a-thon to a place I had never heard of - Sunrise Day Camp.  I became intrigued by this camp and what they were doing for children.  Unfortunately, by the time I found out all about the camp I had already made plans to work at another day camp as a drama specialist.  However, I kept finding myself drawn to this camp and what they were doing.  I found that it's a very special place where children with cancer and their siblings can come free of charge to enjoy a summer filled with fun, friendship, and activities - things often denied them by the demands of their medical condition. At Sunrise they can escape the waiting rooms, the lab work, the check-ups, and the chemo-therapy; and simply be children in the sun.

And finally, in the summer of 2010 I began working at Sunrise Day Camp.  Working with the children there and getting to know their families has affected me deeply.  Seeing the joy these children feel at just being able to be a regular kid, not "the kid with cancer".  Being able to attend a camp where no one gives them a second look because they've lost their hair or because they have a stint in their chest.  Having a five-year-old kiss me on the head on my last day of dance class with her and thank me for playing with her for the summer. 

Watching these children go through a battle even adults find it difficult to face is both heartbreaking and inspiring. But I have seen with my own eyes the difference this special place makes in lives filled with pain and uncertainty. I have seen the joy spread across the face of a fourteen-year-old who has never really swam before finally (after weeks of constant, daily and frustrating work) being able to go up to "the deep pool" with the rest of his teenage friends.  I have seen kids who have never acted before find their dramatic voice and discover they really are good at this drama thing. 

And by the end of that summer a plan had begun to form in my mind - and now as a result we are well on our way an even more ambitious ride than the first one.  To help this camp I'm going to do one of the things I do best.....ride my bicycle!

	Queen - Bicycle Race .mp3
	Found at bee mp3 search engine

During the summer of 2012, with my family as my support team and (HINT, HINT) the occasional riding partners, I'll be cycling 3,600 miles across America to spread the word about Sunrise and help raise much-needed funds to keep up their year-round programming.

My fundraising goal? $50,000!  Enough to send eight kids with cancer to eight weeks of camp!

I'm not naive - I know I can’t compete with people who raise millions of dollars for cancer research, but this coming summer I'm doing what I can to fight the war against cancer one mile at a time ... all 3,600 miles of it between California and New York!

I'm looking for sponsors and I'm hoping to connect with people who can help me raise the funds to send these kids to camp.  Anyone interested in helping can go to the Connor's Army Ride Across America link on the Sunrise web site and contribute online.  Or sponsors can contact us through our web site at http://www.connorsarmy.org/.    Any money that sponsors give us to underwrite the cost of this event will be used only for gas, lodging and food for me.  The support team will be paying their own expenses.

And I'm not doing it on some super fancy bike like the one the writer from the New York Times used on his recent trip.   No, I'll be riding on a steel frame bike I dug out of the trash six years ago.  As time has gone by I’ve engaged in more dumpster diving, e-bay purchasing (much to the chagrin of my wife) and online mega bike stores to create my current “Frankenbike”, affectionately known as Black Pearl because she’s completely black and, like the ship in the “Pirates” movies, she’s not pretty but she’s fast.   She’s my main commuter bike, and I would say in the last six years I’ve probably put on 7,000 miles on her commuting the 25 mile round trip between my home and school. 

(Steel is Real - and Black Pearl is going to make it 3600 miles!)

And I won't be staying in fancy hotels.  We're hoping to get Motel 6 or someone like that donate some nights.  We're hoping to sleep on the couches of friends (and maybe facebook supporters?) along the way.  We'll stay in hostels and we'll camp out in our tent - whatever we need to do to keep the costs down.

Because whatever we get from sponsors that we don't use - we're going to add it on top of the pledges we get for Sunrise - sort of like the cherry on top!

So that is my story.  Again, I want to thank you from the bottom of my soul for liking us, supporting us, believing in our mission to help these kids and for making more of a difference in my life than you will ever really, truly know.

Stay well and I'll see you on the road!

Back in the Saddle (Yet Again)!

So for those of you who know me well, you know that I am a transplanted Texan.  Even though I haven't lived there in 20 years (that would be twenty years this October), I still consider myself FROM Texas - Rick Perry and his pig-headedness notwithstanding.  And, despite the fact that I didn't live my whole life from there - in actually my father got stationed there while I was in high school and I graduated from C.E. Ellison high school with my friend James Deane (yes, that's right James Deane - a tall, thin red head who wanted to be an architect).

But there is one thing I have learned from one of my all-time favorite movies and that is, YOU CHOOSE WHO YOU WANT TO BE!



Or in an even more powerful version of the same message from this movie (sorry, it wouldn't let me embed this one);
http://youtu.be/YX5IOAoPt2A

or put even another way, there is this montage from some of the best movies of all time (including early Harry Potter when Peter O'Toole was still Dumbledore) which is entitled "Words of Wisdom from the Movies";



So what does this have to do with anything?  Well, we all make choices in life - I choose to still call myself a transplanted Texan since I did graduate from a Texas High School and a great Texas college - Southern Methodist University - home of the Mustangs!

I also choose to ride my bike.  When I was a kid I rode it for the sheer joy of it all, to get away, to taste freedom - the wind in my hair, the bugs in my teeth, the asphalt in my skin after a particularly spectacular crash!  Then in high school (while dad was stationed in Germany) my friends and I did it to explore, often ranging abroad for days exploring the European countryside.  When I moved to Texas I still rode my bike everywhere which made me somewhat of an oddity (okay, even odder than I already was)  since everyone else of junior and senior age was driving by then.  I was one of the only ones I knew who rode the big yellow limousine to school on a regular basis.

I stopped riding for a long time after that, not taking it up again until I lived in New Jersey and I often rode my bike to my job at Overpeck Stables in Leonia, NJ.  That's right, I was a stable boy.  Which is funny because even though I considered myself from Texas I had never really ridden a horse before.  I got that chance at Overpeck, although I mainly stuck to the theme and only rode Western style.  But I did get to take care of horse, mainly recuperating racehorses, and managed to get stomped on, dragged, shoved against the side of stalls and even peed on (yes, by a mare in heat - that was a fun day!) by various horses in the eight or so months that I worked there.  I had a car but whenever I could I would ride my bike since it was only ten miles or so.  Due to various reasons, I moved back to Texas but sold my bike when I left New Jersey.  It would be three years before I would ride again.

I chose to ride again because I sold my car (due to the fact I was living on campus and parking was a nightmare) and I got a Peugot hybrid which I loved.  It was the first new bike I had ever owned since I was a kid.  I rode it fairly religiously for about eight months before it was stolen from out in front of where I worked.  I ended up buying a Volkswagen Beetle (in which I once transported Paul Taylor and a couple of members of his company - long story!) which I drove until I moved back to New York to pursue my dream of being a dancer.  At that point I pretty much stopped riding since I didn't want to injure myself and thereby deprive myself of my livelihood.

Flash forward to eleven years ago.  I had found an old Miyata Triplecross hybrid bike at a garage sale for $50.  It was a bit big for me and it only had 18 speeds and flat handlebars but for me it was a great deal.  I bought it and started riding again around the streets of Smithtown where I was living.  We would put Sarah to sleep at about 5:00 in the evening and I would go and ride for an hour or so.  I gradually decided I wanted to start seriously riding again so I started scouring ebay, craigslist and the internet and got cycling shoes, clipless pedals, cycling shorts, cycling jerseys and started upgrading the bike.  I started riding it occasionally to work at Usdan in the summers much to my wife's chagrin (since I was riding on 25A for about 10 miles - a place second only in safety to the Boulevard of Death in Queens).

I never really commuted from Smithtown to Syosset on my bike but once I moved to Northport (only 15 miles away) three years later, I gave it a shot once or twice.  It was then that fate stepped in and saw me through, so to speak;



It just so happened that I got into a car accident at the corner of Pulaski and Lennox Avenue in Huntington Station.  My car would be out of commission for at least two weeks (it turned out to be three) and so I had to either figure out a way to get a ride to and from work every day or I would have to ride - and that began my love affair with the two-wheeler all over again.

I eventually found an old Diamondback Allure frame lying in the trash and put drop bars on and upgraded my pedals until I had my current Frankenbike which I affectionately call Black Pearl.  With Pearl I rode 2,000 commuting miles between Syosset and Northport in the 2007 calendar year and raised $13,000 for the American Cancer Society.  Then I used some Christmakuh money and gift cards from my birthday to buy myself a new frame and I was off to the races.  Well, not literally.  I still don't have the time to really train to race and as it stands now with my herniated disc I don't think I will (but that's another story).  I've had some guys that I used to ride with very nicely tell me I should race but that was when I was in a bit better shape than I am now - although today I felt AWESOME!

So what all this preamble is basically to say is that I have chosen to be a cyclist just as I have chosen to be a transplanted Texan.  And I like to ride just to ride - it clears my head, it pushes my body, it makes me feel alive, and sometimes it helps me deal with what can sometimes be overpowering emotions such as the passing of my brother David.  But most of all it has become part of who I am, much like it was when I was a kid.  I ride because it gives me a feeling of freedom that can't be matched.  Don't get me wrong - I love to dance and I love when I can perform a particular difficult piece of choreography and put emotion into it.  But bombing down a hill at 50 miles an hour (shhhhh, don't tell my wife) makes me feel as close as I can to actually flying.

Most of the time I ride by myself as part of my commute or I get up early in the morning (6:30 ish) and ride for two hours while the family is slowly stirring on the weekends.  I don't ride with the club as much anymore simply because leaving at 8:00, 8:30, or 9:00 (depending on the time of the year) is just too late in the day.  By the time I get to the meeting point, ride the 50 miles with the group, and then get home, five hours has passed and its now in the afternoon - the entire day is shot.  So I end up riding alone.  I don't really get to push myself as much but I get the miles in (1800 so far this year).

Today was different - today I got to get back in the saddle and ride with a pack - albeit a small one!  David Steinberg is a science teacher at good old SHS and he is also the advisor to the bike club.  Although they generally do almost all mountain bike rides, he and another colleague from school, Mike Borra,  had decided to do a flat century ride this year and so David asked my advice about a road bike.  I, of course, sent him to Adams Cyclery.  Chuck got him set up and apparently he had been riding all summer and dropped fifteen pounds (the bastard!).  He had mentioned that he was going to be riding with some friends today at 6:30 in the morning.  I asked if I could join them and he said sure.

The only problem was that today was also the Cow Harbor Race which meant the roads would be closed down about 8:30 in the morning so I would have to ride to the meeting place.  Which meant getting up at 5:15 IN THE MORNING on a Saturday!  Am I crazy or what??????  I got a good night's sleep (okay seven hours which for me is a long sleep) which still left me feeling much like this:



(Just a few minutes more......)

Now, I had pretty much prepared everything I would need for cycling at this ungodly hour the night before.  I even fully hydrated and put out all my clothing and lubed my bike and made sure everything was adjusted just so.  I silently got dressed in the half light, put the bike outside after making sure the tires were properly inflated and checked to see that everything was in order.  I then proceeded to get a little jolt of caffeine (shhhhh, don't tell my wife since I've been decaffeinated since Augsts) which becuase I haven't been partaking left me feeling something like this;



Ahhhhh, I have to admit it may be healthier to be decaffeinated but I do love my jolt!

So I suited up and headed out the door into the dark!  It was great.  I truly love riding at this time of day when there are hardly any cars on the road and it truly feels as if the entire road system belongs to me.  I had carefully looked at mapquest the day before and knew where the road was located and lo and behold it was closer than Sunrise - which is where I had made many rides during the summer.  It should have been a piece of cake.

And then God laughed.  I was lost.  The turn to the road was not where I thought it was supposed to be!!!!  Fortunately, my sister had purchased a Garmin Edge 705 for me which looks like this;

She bought it for me as a type of sponsorship for the cross country ride - to make sure I don't get lost in the middle of the desert!  Well, I wasn't in the middle of the desert but it was dark and I had no clue where I was.  It was then that the combined effort of Sts. Christopher (patron saint of travelers and Motorists), Madonna del Ghisallo (patron saint of cyclists) and Isidore (patron saint of technology) kicked in and I thought of my GPS unit!  I punched in the address of where I was supposed to meet them and lo and behold it showed me the way.  And I got there just in time to meet them coming down the street - and I thanked God (and the saints) for GPS!!!!!! 

I soon found out that I was riding with six other gentlemen, Dave Steinberg (who I knew) and five others I didn't know but found out that one was planning on riding 120 miles that day to train for an upcoming Ironman competition, another gentleman who had competed in an endurance event (where you ride for 24 hours) and a wiley and wirey older gentleman who obvious had game.  Dave pretty much played the role of rabbit and we all chased after him, pretty much averaging 20 mph the entire time.  Dave is an avid and experienced mountain biker (think Floyd Landis without all the races and without the testosterone patch) so he had the legs that day and was eager to stretch them.  I can't say I stayed on his wheel the entire time but I never got dropped off the back!  And for me that is a minor victory!

However all good things must end and this outing with the boys had to end at about 7:40 in the morning for me.  I looked at my GPS and realized that with the mileage I had already put in I had already logged 30 miles (and thought with a smile that the group I usually rode with at HBC hadn't even left yet) and I found myself in Smithtown (about 20 miles from Northport by the route I had in mind) so I thanked the boys for a great ride and headed home.  I pedaled like there was no tomorrow to try to get home before the roads closed at 8:30! 

I managed to get back to Northport at 8:20 and I hit the Dunkin' Donuts to bring home a treat for my sleepy family!  Nothing to sate you like some donuts and coffee after a loooong hard ride!  Forget about runs, America Rides on Dunkin'!!!!!  Of course since it was 1/4 from the start of the race it was packed with racers and family members caffeinating themselves beforehand.

I wove my way through the racers who were prepping for their race and I managed to get myself back in time to watch the race - and grab some more coffee!  Just in time to start watching the people run their race!  I was impressed with the times but hey, I already did my workout!

So I'm anxious to find more guys to ride with!  If there are any of you out there on Long Island who want to go for a spin, drop me a line.  Even if I don't race - I'm a cyclist, because I am who I choose to be!  And I feel confident that I can keep this progression and get more and more in shape to be ready to cross the good old U.S. of A. on the Black Pearl - especially since I don't have to do it at 20 mph!

Stay well and I'll see you on the road!

10 Years After

Ten years ago the unimaginable happened - individuals who held an intense hatred for our country decided to use jet planes filled with passengers to kill even more people!  Their intent was to demoralize the American people and force us to acquiesce to their demands - whatever those demands might be.  They held a deep seated hatred for our freedoms and for a system of government that allowed people to determine (at least to a large extent) their own destinies - even if that determination was in a completely secular fashion.

Religious belief is a wonderful thing.  It can help us make sense out of our world, it can explain the mysteries of the cosmos, it can even bring peace to us at the end of our days.  What it can't and should not do is determine the entire zeitgeist of the world - particularly through the murders (and let's be serious here, that's all it was) of thousands of innocent people.

The title of this particular entry is Ten Years After and long ago there was an incredible band by the name of "Ten Years After".  Actually, technically there name was Alvin Lee and Ten Years After.  Anyway, about 40 years ago they recorded a song entitled, "I'd Like to Change the World".  While some of the lyrices of this song are completely out of place ("Dykes and Fairies" really is no longer appropriate unless you are using the words to refer to yourself as we are reminded by Father Roger Schmidt in The Laramie Project ) but so much of the rest of the song could have been written today.  Its funny how 40 years ago, the sentiments coming out of the Vietnam War, the Civil Rights Movement, The Oil Embargoes, and the Recession of the early 70's could still be applied today;



Ten years after what can truly be considered a cathartic moment for our nation, so much has left to be done in our country.  We are facing the biggest economic crisis in decades, our government is disfunctional, the unemployment rate is reaching astronomical proportions, and yet we are still embroiled in the blame game.  We even have people who wish to perpetuate the idae that this disaster was either staged or was somehow cuased by the U.S. Government in order to start a war against Islam.  Well for those of you who believe it was staged just remember these images;



9/11 will be for our generation what Pearl Harbor was for our grandparents and Kennedy's assasination was for our parents - we will always know where we were and what we were doing when we got the word of this tragedy.

For me, I was in a Production Practicum class in the Little Theatre with Megha Nabe, Katherine O'Connor, Megan Taggart, Jordan Ross and some other students whose names are slipping my memory right now.  This was in the time before EVERYONE (at least not me) had cell phones or smart phones so we weren't really sure what was happening.    My office is right off the Little Theatre so I became aware that someone was trying to call me and the phone kept ringing.  I finally excused myseflf from the class and answered the phone. 

It was Amy and she was in hysterics.  She was watching it all unfold on our television at home and she couldn't believe what was happening.  We had friends (Lauren and her husband David) who lived down in Batery Park and I had been working in 1 WTC only a few years ago for a little while because Goldman Sachs had kep an office there and I would sometimes have to go over there for my boss.  Now it was on fire and we didn't know what was going on with our friends.

And then she called later to tell me the second one had hit and it was clear it was on purpose.  A few of my kids had phones and started getting calls.  Right then and there the lesson was out the window and we started talking about what we knew.  Then she called again, the first tower had fallen.  I remember her being in hysterics and some of the kids as well becuase they had just gotten updates.  And then the second tower fell and we were struck by all the devestation that had just happened 40 miles away.

This was on a Tuesday morning and the rest of the day there were televisions going on in the faculty cafeteria, the library, every computer in the school was following what was happening.  Students were being picked up by fearful parents and everyone just wanted to be home with those they loved.  It was a day that was surreal and seemed as if it would never end.  But I know that part of what got me through the day until I could go home and be with my wife and my beautiful little girl was the support my theatre kids gave each other those terrible 40 minutes in the Little Theatre and the support they gave me.

Now it is ten years later and there are moments when those fears are still there.  I still find myself looking up at airplanes sometimes and wondering if I'm going to see them explode in mid-air or if they will start plummeting towards the ground.  Its a strange and terrifying thing to think about and to think that my children - the three of them now - will be growing up in a world in which we seem to be forgetting the lessons learned during that terrible time.  Forgetting that what saves us is our ability to pull together, to comfort each other, and to minister to each other in times of need.  When we lose our belief in our duty to help others, we lose our humanity.  Amy's uncle Arthure Gudeon is just such a man.  He never lost his belief in his duty to help others, even though it eventually cost him his health.  If you follow this link to the 9/11 Memorial website and the rescue and recovery page, you can find him.  Click on his podcast link and hear his story.

I guess thats one of the reasons I want to join the rescue squad at the Northport Fire Department.  Its something I've been wanting to do since 9/11 and now that my School District Administration duties are finished I think I might have the time.  I want to give back and I want to help others - I guess I always have and its part of why I became a teacher.  I think another reason was early on in my teacher studies I read the book To Serve Them All of My Days and to tell the truth, that's really what I think teaching should be about.  Its why I work at Sunrise Day Camp and why I want to help those kids by riding my bicycle across the country.  If I could only get some people to donate funds to the effort!

Okay, so you knew that it was going to have to come back to riding at some point right?  And today, to help me make sense out of my thoughts and feelings of what happened ten years ago I went for a ride.  Not a long 50-mile hammerfest mind you.  Just a nice 25 mile ride that would help me clear my head, provide me some catharsis, and push me to think how lucky I am to live in a country where I can come home and write down these thoughts and share them with whomever wishes to click on my blog.  America is a pretty amazing place.  Despite the crazy demonstrations, the crazy politics, the crazy trends and "reality" television shows (for which I sometimes feel bombing us is sort of justified), we live in a country where at the end of the day we can get on our bikes, wear spandex in public and express our displeasure with others by what we wear on our backs.

or maybe we won't ride anything at all;

And yes, in this country we do have that option as one of our freedoms!  But rest assured, in eight months when I embark on my 3600 mile journey to raise $50,000 for Sunrise Day Camp by riding my bicycle from San Diego, CA to Wheatley Heights, NY I will be FULLY clothed!

But today, as I rode in my Connor's Army bicycle jersey and watched the sun rising in the West on a new day that is so far removed from that tragic morning ten years ago there was a song playing through my head that was recorded and released about the same time as Ten Year's After's "I'd Like to Change the World".  That song is "Imagine" and it kept playing over and over in my head - but never as wonderfully as it sounded as performed by the man who wrote it (who also had a propensity for nudity as well), John Lennon;



And for those of you who still don't get his Liverpudlian accent after all these years, here are some important lyrics to know - the second verse and the chorus):

"Imagine there's no countries

It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace


You may say that I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will be as one."

And those my friends are words to live by.  There are worse things that could be repeating themselves in your heads as you ride along!

Stay well and I will see you on the road!

And the World Spins Madly On/To All of Those I've Taught Before

So I have this song on my iPod that was introduced to me by a former extremely talented student named Heather Burian.  She choreographed an end of the year project that included this song as part of the mix and she made a cd for me that included the entire version. The name of the song is "The World Spins Madly On" and its by a group called the Weepies;



Today I listened to it as I rode my bike to school.  Its the first day of school and as has become my custom in the last few years, I ride the first day.  Today it was raining but I just bundled up in my plastic shell (its sort of like magic shell, just not as chocolatey) and headed out the door.

The ride was great (although squishy) and I arrived at school in time to dry myself off before I went into the Little Theater - the traditional early morning meeting place for members of the Association of Creative Thespians - our school drama club.

And I was immediately slapped in the face as surely and as palpably as if someone had done it like this;



What caused this incredible slap to the face?  The realization that the incredible young people I have watched grow, mature, blossom and soar with their incredible talent have gone off to bigger and better things (college).  As a teacher of now 15 years, I have never gotten used to this first day of seeing familiar faces, but not ALL the familiar faces.  Even the absence of the summer never really takes the edge off and this day always leaves me with a gaping hole in my heart.

And I see in my classes and in the hallways the new crop of actors that will come up in the next few years - the newest Phil Rosenberg, Emily Feinstein, Ally Grossman, Alex Mogil, Ally Giorgio, Jaimee Diamond, Erin Edelstein (or Edelle as she calls herself), Catherine Woodard, Louis Hatzipetrakos (see I can still spell it!), Dan Incalcaterra, Andrew Rubino, Megah Nabe, Jordan Ross, Katherine O'Connor, Jared Morgenstern, Caryn Lewi, Lyndsey Staib, Stephanie Israelson, Jillian Feinstein, Martina Bonolis, Robin Sutker, Alex Green, and so many others (please don't be offeneded if I didn't list your name here - after 15 years there have been so many of you!). 

But these newest editions (call them ACT 15.0 if you will) can never replace those that have gone before.  And then there are those former ACTers who can never be repeated because of their singular place in my heart: the entire graduating class of 1998 (my first ACT grads ever); the graduating class of 2000 (who made a huge banner for me congratulating me on my tenure!); the entire ACT group from 2001-2002 (those of us who pulled together and tried to make sense of 9/11); the graduating class of 2004 as we put together an awesome season of The Man Who Came to Dinner, West Side Story, and Romeo and Juliet; The Casts of the Laramie Project (both versions); the ACTers of 2007-2008 who were so supportive and helpful to me when I reached my goal of 2000 miles for Connor's Army.  And I could literally go on and on!

All of these kids who have gone through these halls, performed in the LT, had classes with me and performed on our main stage are indelibly printed in my memory - they are a part of who I am now as a teacher, a director, a person and most importantly a father.  I have been blessed over the years to have the best job ever - teaching young people who are so passionate (sometimes too much so) about what they do and who invest themselves (sometimes too much so) in what they do.  They put their trust in me that I won't make them look foolish and that I have their best interests at heart.  I really do try to do that on a daily basis with them.  Often times I am successful but there are those times I am not and those failures on my part also weigh on my heart and soul on days like today.  Will this be the year I get it right?  Will this be the year that I truly use their talents to the best of their ability?  Will this be the year I grow yet again as a teacher, director, father, person?  Can I manage to not destroy someone's confidence in their own unique talents and abilities?  The questions that weigh on my mind as I face my new charges are a swirling morass of uncertainty.

You have all taught me so much about being a person and following my own passions.  Connor's Army came about because you taught me to follow my heart.  You have taught me to try to listen to my own children better and be more patient with them and their zaniness.  I don't always succeed but becuase you have all loved them so much and have given them such examples of what I hope they can grow up to be, I am reminded daily to be patient with them and help nurture their passions - whatever those passions may be.  I may get stretched to the limit becuase of my obligations to ACT but working with you also reminds me every year why I have a family and why I love my wife and children so.

And I do know this - becuase of all of my ACTers who have come into my life I am better than I was, despite my numerous failings (and they are so many).  I know that I will have more failings in my life but I do believe in my heart that I am trying to do my best with all of my children and with my ACT kids and that I will always strive to be better.  When it comes to the time that I detest my job and I see all of these young, passionate people as mere pains in my ass it will become time to hang up my dance shoes, fold up my director's chair and make use of the School District Administration degree I now have waiting to be framed at home.  Once I lose the passion to help these kids be their best, its time to stop.

But for now I still love what I do - I still have the best job at Syosset High School and as I rode Black Pearl home in the drizzle I even relished the feel of the wet rain in my shorts because it reminded me that I am alive, I have a great family at school and I'm headed home to the best family I could ever hope to have - a loving wife, creative and passionate and beautiful children, and a warm, comfortable house.  Thank you ACT for making this life possible.

And so I ride my bike on the first day of school and I return home.  Some of the faces have changed, and the world spins madly on.

Stay well and I'll see you on the road.

P.S. - If you are a former ACTer and you've made it this far - subscribe to my blog - I do talk about you all quite a bit!