How Do I Spell Gratitude?

(Sprinting his way in the opposite direction of the deep fryer)

In NYC today (only a short bicycle jaunt from my hometown of Northport) they are holding the 13th Annual Cranksgiving Ride.  It's an event that I've always wanted to do but we have our annual holiday gathering at Mark and Laura's in Verona, NJ and its an amazing time for us all to be together and appreciate our amazing family.  So we're currently watching the parade on television and then we'll head out in the car for the great trek to the kingdom of New Jersey.  Yes, we do have to deal with the New Jersey traffic but at least this time I'm not doing it on a bicycle!

One of our traditions (which we in the Connor household have been doing on a daily basis for years) is to go around the tables and say one thing that we are grateful for in the last year.  To be honest, there are so many things I am grateful for this year that I can't limit it to just one so I decided to create this little acronym instead;

T - Three thousand, seven-hundred and thirteen miles without major mechanical issues and with only one minor accident.  The only mechanical was really just a flat tire (on one of the most grueling days of the ride) and the only accident was when Sarah ran into me on the way to Floyd, VA.  But there could have been so many instances where things could have gone horribly wrong but they didn't.  And for that I am grateful.
H - Healthy children.  Spending 44 days in the saddle this summer riding for children who are battling cancer made me so much more appreciative of the fact that my children are completely healthy and (I hope) happy.  Even when they annoy me, I am grateful for the fact that I do have them here TO annoy the @#$#@ out of me sometimes!  I am truly grateful that they are in my life.
A - All the people who supported us, sponsored us, followed us, and read this blog.  I truly could not have made it through all of those long difficult days without you.  Knowing you all believed in me and that you were pushing for me was sometimes the only thing that kept me from tossing my bike on the side of the road and calling it a day.
N - New experiences and memories that I have had over the last year with my family.  As difficult as it was to coexist in a small confined space (i.e., minivan, hotel rooms, Kozy Kabins, etc.) I really felt as if I grew closer to my family instead of away.  With them I traveled to places I have wanted to visit since I was a kid (The Grand Canyon, Mesa Verde, Colorado) and now I have these incredible memories of seeing my children and my wife discover the beauty that is this country.
K - Kozy Kabins, Kansans, Krispy Kreme Donuts and all other things that started with "K" that we got to experience this summer.  And yes, I know that I'm dwelling a lot over what happened this summer but it truly was a life changing experience not only for myself but for my children as well.  I think they really got the chance to see what this amazing country is all about and all the diversity that it holds.
S - Sunrises with Sarah, Sunsets with the family.  I think one of the things that I will remember the most about this summer was being with Sarah as she watched her very first sunrise.  We were on our bicycles heading to Pittsburgh, KS at something like 5:45 in the morning and I had the unbridled joy of watching her watch the sunrise from behind.  Her comments and little squeals of joy (in between the occasional puffing and heavy breathing) as she witnessed her first ever sunrise were magical.  And since this followed only about a week or so after the entire family had experienced the sunset over the Western rim of the Grand Canyon, we were in solar display heaven!  Memories like this are ones that I will take with me to my dying day and I hope they are ones the kids will remember forever.
G - Gas in the tank.  One of the hardest things about this summer's journey was the concern about gas prices.  We were very lucky in that we never hit the out-of-control gas prices that were originally forcast for the summer so we always had gas in the tank.  Well, except for that one brief period of time when Amy thought she would run out on the way to Charlottesville.  But more importantly, gas and oil prices have stayed low on Long Island which has been a big help as we are all struggling in the aftermath of Hurricane Sandy.  We recently started a gas rationing program here on the Island and it has helped alleviate the lines and the craziness.  People are actually beginning to be civil again to one another.  So this grateful is for gas!
I - In the moment.  One of the things that I was able to do this summer is live in the moment - something I've been striving to do for a very long time.  It was so much easier to do it when I was young but as I've grown oldere and have accumulated more responsibilites and cares (sort of like my mental and emotional saddlebags) I've forgotten to just live for the now and enjoy every moment.  This summer my children reminded me to do that.  As I experienced America through their eyes I saw how important it is for me to get back to the idea of just allowing myself to experience the here and now thoroughly.  I hope I can continue this important lesson.
V - Veni, Vidi, Vici  This summer I learned a lot about myself and I learned I CAN survive any challenge that I undertake.  It may not always have the ending that I dream about (*cough, cough* $50,000 raised for Sunrise) but I can do it.  This summer I came to some very desolate and inhospitable places in our country's landscape and I saw the challenges I had to face and yet I conquered them.  I am extremely grateful for the lessons this jounrey taught me.  Not only about myself but about my amazing wife and my incredible children.  I have always appreciated them and how blessed I am to have them in my life but because of what they helped me do and how they gave of themselves to help me reach this goal I appreciate them so much more.  I know that seems impossible but its true.  My greatest wish is to try to keep reminding myself every day of how they support me and love me, even when we make each other nuts.
I - Ice Cream!!!!!!! I know this seems like a silly thing to be grateful for but ice cream has tied our family together over the past year.  From making huge sundaes to celebrate the New Year (or the Connormonster we made when the power went out) to Amy's end of summer birthday party bash, ice cream bonds our family together.  Whether we're making our own or venturing down into Northport to see if they have any new flavors, we always enjoy it together.  And this summer the adventures we shared while looking for the perfect ice cream experience were numerous but to me, any time I could share the ice cream with my incredible family was the perfect ice cream experience.
N - New people who have come into our life and those with whom we've manage to reconnect with this year.  Our friends, old and new, have helped us weather some difficult times this year both emotionally and physically.  I am so incredibly grateful for all of these people who are in our lives and who have helped us maintain our sanity and our optimisim about the good of people in the world.
G - Gas in the tank.  One of the nicest things that has been said about me as a rider happened shortly after I came back from the summer.  I was riding with the AA crew of the Huntington Bicycle Club and I was having a good ride.  I was in shape I was pulling at times but I wasn't the fastest guy out there.  That's when my friend Michael Foresto said one of the nicest things that anyone has ever said about me, "He doesn't have a big engine but he's got a lot of gas in the tank!"  And that pretty much epitomizes my whole life.  I'm not flashy, I'm not the fastest, and I'm not necessarily the best.  But I can AND WILL keep going.  I found that to be true this summer and I think its been true my entire life.  I will keep going no matter what and I can keep going.  There are far too many people that I can help to give up now.

So the journey is done but the battle is not won.  I don't know yet what Connor's Army will do in the future but I know that it will be somehow related to helping the cancer community in any way that I can.  For to me, the best way to show my gratitude for the bounty that has been bestowed on me is to give back - in whatever way I can.

Stay well my friends, and I'll see you on the road!

Riding the (not so) Friendly Roads



(Welcome to Long Island - Now Get the Hell off MY Road!!!!!)

How do they do it?  How are people able to keep up a blog with everything else that goes on in their busy lives?  I guess it becomes a matter of priority and with the craziness that has been going on in the Tri State area I have allowed this blog to become the last thing on my mind.

The first thing of course is Hurricane Sandy which everyone around here has taken to calling "Superstorm Sandy".  My understanding is that the distinguishment (call it semantics) has something to do with insurance and FEMA assistance.  The Connor household was fortunately spared any damage to our home or property but those around us experienced plenty.  Some of my colleagues lost homes and some of my students as of this writing are still living with others or in hotels because they are still without power.  We lost power for about five days, got it back, lost it and then got it back again and we've been doing well every since - even surviving the Nor' Easter.

The second upheaval that has happened and has kept me off the blog trail has been the election.  No one can argue that this was the most contested and contentious election in many years and to tell the truth, when I was on the computer I was too drawn into reading all the articles about what was going on and being terribly afraid for the future of our country.  The election is over and President Obama won reelection (some have already started arguing that it was all because of Sandy - as if he can control the weather) but even that sense of stability will be taken from us as Republicans have already vowed to block him on everything they possibly can.

And the third event that has been keeping me away from these hallowed pages has been the Association of Creative Thespians' production of The 39 Steps which opens tomorrow here at SHS.  Because of the Superstorm, the Nor' Easter and the lack of gas to be had for buses or parents, we lost two weeks of rehearsal during that critical time when we traditionally clean and fix timing, finish the set and generally tech the show.  Last Friday, with less than a week before the opening of the show I put the question up to the cast and crew of the show - Do we continue?  I told them that I was willing to do either but it had to be a majority vote of the combined cast and crew.  If the majority voted to do it then I asked of them two things - 1) that we give it our very best shot and we put ALL of our effort into getting this show in the very best shape we possibly can, even if it means extra rehearsals and 2) that we use this as a fundraiser to help those in our own community and in other communities on Long Island who have been effected by the storms.  It wasn't unanimous, but they overwhelmingly agreed to go through with the show.  And despite all of the lost time, we are going to have an incredible show.  It won't be as clean as it could have been but it will be good - and we will raise funds to help others.  I couldn't be prouder of my kids.  They truly have shown what can happen when you choose to use your art for the good of others.

So with all of the craziness that has been happening in the last three weeks, I find that I haven't been riding, blogging or really doing much of anything.  

In terms of my riding, it's been far too long since I've done any meaningful miles and I have found myself falling into the trap of complacency that I guess all explorers fall into upon their return.  I haven't been riding as much and I haven't been able to get myself back into a disciplined groove.  I find that I just can't get myself as motivated to ride every day as I did over the summer.  Sometimes its just simply I didn't have a good night's sleep and I can't get up in the morning, nor can I force myself to get out of bed.  I'm not sure that I need to go to the extent of testosterone replacement therapy;

 



but I am finding that my get-up-and-go is not going as fast as it used to.  Now part of that may be the slow slouching towards 50 that I guess everyone finds themself doing at this age but I find myself in a state of almost constant mental flagellation (not to be confused with mental flatulation which just renders me stupid) trying to get myself motivated to do what I should be doing. 

So I ultimately feel like I'm letting down my family, my friends, my supporters, and especially the kids of Sunrise - which then starts the spiraling downward arc all over again and I find myself too disheartened to get my fat butt on the road.  Which has all led to the fact that I have gained back about seven pounds of all the weight I had lost over the summer - again, setting me up on a disheartened downward spiral.  I know all I need to do is get back to riding consistently but I just can't find the drive that I once had.

Now I don't know if I'm dealing with a sense of loss from the attainment of a goal.  Some who know me would argue that I've always been like this - never satisfied once I have what I have attained, that I'm constantly in need of a challenge.  Perhaps that's true but it does keep me moving and searching for a new challenge.  I guess that's what drove me to get my Master's in School District/Building Administration.  I'm now looking forward to the challenge of being a volunteer EMT in the Northport Fire Department.  It is my hope that I can eventually be a part of their bicycle EMS team that works all the events in Northport.  How cool would it be to combine my passion for riding with my desire to help my community.

I also believe there is another thing that has been influencing my lack of joy with riding on Long Island.  While I was riding across the country this summer I rode in a number of different scenarios and locales - from crowded highways with almost no shoulder (thank you so much Adventure Cycling Association), to twisting mountain roads in Kentucky alongside loaded coal trucks, to crowded urban roads (Baltimore, Camden, Newark, NYC) with busy traffic.  However, it wasn't until I got back to Long Island that I started feeling as if I were just a two-wheeled mobile target for some sort of traffic mishap game.  If you recall, the day I returned to LI, I almost was "right hooked" by a woman in Manhasset - 20 miles from the end of my journey.  It seems that once I crossed the East River cyclists once again become fair game in a motorists game of hit and run. 

For the longest time this has been bothering me.  As you may recall from previous posts, I actually do talks with the driver's ed classes at SHS about sharing the road with cyclists.  I work hard to make sure these young motorists know that cyclists legally have a right to be on the road and that it's pretty much illegal for us to be riding on the sidewalks (unless you're 12 or younger) as this video starring John Leguizamo so humorously demonstrates;



However, there are a great number of older motorists on Long Island that either don't know this or just don't give a damn.  So as a result they honk at us as they are right behind us, they "buzz" us, or sometimes they try (sometimes successfully as I am living testament to) to run into us to prove their point.

But that's not the worse part.  The worse part is the attitude of my fellow Long Island cyclists.  Now I realize that perhaps .05% of the riders on Long Island might actually be competitive cyclists who compete year round and who really train in a way to be more competitive.  I do occasionally get the chance to ride with some of these gusy in the AA group of the Huntington Bicycle Club.  But the majority of us are what I guess are called "enthusiasts" (which I think is a fancy way to say its our hobby) so we're really not training for the next national event, we're simply doing it to get/stay in shape and because we enjoy it.  I would say that 90% of the cyclists on Long Island probably fall within that category.  I include myself in there so don't think I'm being all high and mighty here.  Yes, I rode my bicycle across America but I am in no way a competetive cyclist.  Yes, I can ride for 12 hours a day at an average speed of 17 mph but again, I am not a competetive cyclist.  So I feel a certain kinship to those of my two wheeled brethren with whom I share these dangerous roads.  I feel their pain (literally in three different cases) and I truly get the focus you need when riding the roads of Long Island.

And yet, why the hell is it too much to ask you to wave back when you pass me on the road?!?!?  If you're not one of those .05% of riders who are training for a major cycling event then at least have the decency to acknowledge the existence of a fellow rider who is waving to you.  Are you really working that hard above your threshold level that you can't spare the wattage to lift your hand?  Really?

I met all sorts of fellow cyclists this summer from the super prepared, streamlined racers in Colorado training for an upcoming event (they left me in the dust but loaded down as I was I hung with them for a few miles), to young kids without helmets just bombing the neighborhood.  Almost without exception they always waved back, even the "enthusiasts" training in Washington, D.C. who seemed as if they were at least contemplating some serious wattage output.

The point is, we're under the same pressure and WE are the minority out here on the God given Island of Long and it would be nice if we could just acknowledge each others' existence.  It's not like we have to high-five as we pass each other (which would cause one of us to swerve into the other lane, thereby proving to motorists we're total jerks) or to even chest bump as we pass (which would be totally impressive since we're both going at 20+ mph in opposite directions - heeeeeeyyyyyy, there's a great math problem, if Gene is traveling north at 23 mph on his bicycle and Fred is traveling south at 22 mph on his bicycle and they both bunny hop in the air and chest bump, who will get the more severe concussion?  Solve for y).  But you know what WOULD be nice my fellow cyclists?  Just a slight raising of your hand or even the passing head nod, just to say, "I'm with you, man".

For those of you readers out there who don't bike commute on the deadly streets of Long Island, you probably don't have any idea what I'm talking about.  So I say to you, come on out, the road is fine!  And if you e-mail me or message me, I'll be glad to ride it with you!  For those of you who do bike commute on these thoroughfares of torment - just give a little wave!

Stay well, and I'll see you on the road!