For This Let Us Be Truly Thankful!

“Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn't learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn't learn a little, at least we didn't get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn't die; so, let us all be thankful.”   -Buddha

And that in a nutshell is something for all of us to be thankful for of all the things that could happen to us - we're here and we're able to express our thankfulness.

Now granted, in honor of the holiday I could have posted a picture such as this one to express my thoughts for the season;

(Ready for the town line sprint!)

Or I could have gone old school and used this one;

(And we can't even train the cat to use the litter box 100% of the time!)

But I found the quote about Buddha and I thought that since it was more non-denominational that it would work for this post.

Tomorrow (or today, depending on when you're reading this - perhaps after your evening meal?) most of us in this country will be celebrating Thanksgiving that wonderful day of familial bacchanalian delight!  But its so interesting that though many people know about the Pilgrims and the Wampanoag tribe setting down to break bread (deer, corn, fish and other items of bounteousness) they don't know about the rest of the story.  Fortunately, our friends at History.com can help us out - just click here.  And they also put out this great video;



Or this version from Scholastic.com;



Or, there is this interesting and amusing little vignette;



But what it all boils down to after the commercialism and the Macy's Day Parade and the sales is that this is really a holiday for us to take just a moment in our busy lives and remind ourselves of all we should be thankful for.  Buddha, being the wise and enlightened being that he was, managed to distill what to be thankful for into three points;

1)  Be thankful that we learned something, even if it was only a little bit;
2) We're not sick;
3)  We're not dead.

That pretty much covers it.  And yet, that doesn't seem to be enough somehow.  My friend Stephen Mosher (click on the link you can learn all about him) has been doing something on facebook for the last month in which he has been posting every day something for which he is grateful.  They have been uplifting, enlightening and thoughtul posts and I have looked forward to reading them every single day.

In the Northport Connor household we do something every single evening at the dinner table - we share one thing we are grateful for from all the things that have happened during the day.  At our annual Thanksgiving feast, which is usually held at Mark and Laura's house in New Jersey, we also go around the table and share something we are grateful for from the previous year.

Yet one grateful does not seem to be enough.  So in honor of the holiday and in the spirit of Thankfulness I would like to offer my own Stephen Mosher inspired list of things for which I am grateful this year;

24)  Facebook - As silly as it may seem to be grateful for this "addiction" it has been a very important part of my life this year.  No, I don't have a smart phone and I don't post updates every three minutes (I actually have a ten-year-old flip phone that was a hand me down from my mother-in-law) and I try not to post "amusing" things like, "sitting on bus next to a really fat guy who stinks - help me!" but I have used it to reconnect with so many old friends and to share important moments in my life.  It also helps me keep up on all the doings of some of my favorite people - but more about that later.

23)  That I live in America - It seems trivial but its true.  Although I sometimes fantasize about retiring to the Netherlands or Belgium (for the cycling culture) or even Ireland (for the music), I'm grateful to live in a country that gives me the rights that I have.  Although it seems many people take these freedoms for granted, I'm grateful to live where we can disagree with the policies of the government and not be jailed.  Even if it means listening to ludicrous statements like this from those who seek to lead our country;



22)  Politician who follow their conscience - I'm primarily referring to politicians like Governor Andrew Cuomo, State Senator Mark Grisanti, State Senator Carl Kruger, President Barack Obama and all of those whom we have elected that forget about their reputations in order to try to do the right thing.  In a year that has seen our national government gridlocked by petty politics, I am so grateful to have lived to witness the legalization of Gay Marriage in New York State;



21)  The best job in the world - I am so grateful to have a job that is secure, that provides health care and that still inspires me to be better.  Yes, it has its frustrating moments but what aspect of life doesn't.  I get to work with the best kids in the world who are so passionate about what they do and the art they create.  They inspire me to be a better teacher, director and father and they provide my own children with such amazing role models.  How could I ask for more.

20)  My wife performing again - yes, she has been doing it off and on since we moved out here but lately she has been getting calls left and right to do shows and now (as I write this) she is in rehearsals for a production of A Wonderful Life at a theater that is a six minute walk from our house.  We hope that this leads to more engagements at the John W. Engeman Theater.  As tiring as the rehearsal process has been on her, to see her happy about performing again makes me so glad.

19)  Beer - It seems silly but it is one of the things I'm grateful for.  I don't drink it all the time but hey, I like the taste and as Benjamin Franklin once said, "Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy"!

18) My friends and colleagues at Syosset High School - Okay, so I have never been someone to have a ton of friends.  In my entire life I have usually only had one or two close friends that I could always count on and those were the ones I usually hung around with - Ed Trevorrow, Chris Wilmoth, Mike Shef, Eric Folkerth (who was also my boss) and others.  Its no diferent at work.  Becuase I'm almost a one-man theatre department I tend to spend a lot of time alone.  This year I have made a conscious effort to try to reach out and socialize with my fellow teachers more.  I've tried to talk more to my stalwart, brilliant, resourceful and patient set designer Pete Haughwout; my former SDL compatriot/set constructor Craig Mooers and this year I've tried to branch out even more.  I've gone riding with Dave Steinberg and had lots of conversations about Connor's Army with Rich Faber, Shai Fischer and Steve Tozer.  It feels so good to talk to someone other than teenagers.

17)  Coffee! - Yes, although I'm decaffeinated (mostly) I love the flavor of coffee and the hot cup that I have in the mornings always hits the spot.  Of course, sometimes I cheat and add some REAL coffee in the mix and the resulting jolt is so much fun!

16)  Riding my bike in the rain - Okay, so I don't pretend that all of my gratefuls are going to be esoteric and profound.  I'm just grateful to feel the wind on my face and the rain coming down.  I don't like cold rain as much but there is something that always manages to take me back to being a little kid and riding in summer rain showers that I feel every single time I ride in the rain - even when my butt is squishy from the water.  Today I went for a 20 mile ride in the rain and the feeling hit me again - it never fails.

15)  Working at Sunrise Day Camp  - Sunrise Day Camp is the only day camp dedicated to serving children with cancer and their families and a place where I have spent the last two summers teaching Drama and Dance.  As tiring as it can be sometimes (both physically and emotionally) I have grown so much as a result of my working there.  I have witnessed the power of these children to bounce back from what many older people would consider an instant death sentence and yet they continue to embrace life and sieze the day for all its worth.  Its because of them that I decided to spend the summer of 2012 riding across America to raise enough money to let eight more children fighting cancer experience this joy for themselves.

14)  Our new sprinkler system - Yes, it seems like an indulgent luxury but its really not.  We're not rolling in money but we took some of the money from my bike accident in the summer of 2010 and we decided to have an in-ground sprinkler system put in.  You see, to me part of having a home is having a lawn (and my Long Island raised wife ridicules me for this "obsession" as she calls it) and I've never been able to keep it watered properly .  Invariably I let it (cause it?) die every single year.  This summer will be worse since we won't be living here - this sprinkler system will hopefully ensure that I still have a lawn when I return from our trek.

13)  My mechanical aptitude - One of the things my father always insisted on teaching me is how to be self sufficient when it came to taking care of cars, our house, the lawn.  Growing up we never had the money to pay for a lawn service, plumber, carpenter/handy man, and rarely a mechanic.  Watching my dad I learned how to do certain things and to do them right.  As I became a homeowner that became imporant since living in an old house means there is always something that needs to be fixed.  This has also been important to me as a cyclist since I can't afford to take my bike to the mechanic all the time.  With the right books and the right tools I have learned to be my own mechanic (98% of the time) and have been able to start a project called RECycle for Sunrise to help raise money for our cross country fund raising event and for Sunrise Day Camp.  I can completely strip a bike, true wheels, and put it all back together - and it will still run.

12)  Living in Northport - As conservative as this little village can somtimes be, I'm so glad that we live here on Main Street in a town that has parades, concerts in the park and where you can walk down town or go to the grocery store and see people you know.  We live a ten minute walk from the water and we can bicycle to the park and lay on the grass.  There are ice cream shops and general stores and family nights in the summer where they close the street for a big block party.  This Friday we are going to the tree lighting and Sarah is lighting the tree!  And this is where my children are growing up - a Norman Rockwell painting come to life;

(It may not be as snowy but this could be Northport if you squint your eyes and turn your head just so)

11)  My Inspirations in life - Through the years they have changed depending on what I was doing and who/what I wanted to be - Mikhael Baryshnikov, Paul Taylor, Mario Siletti, Twyla Tharp, Laurence Olivier, Johnny Depp, Dan Gable, Gene Kelly, Ed Kresley, Kevin Bacon, Lance Armstrong (yeah, yeah, I know), Eric Clapton, Lund Sox, Mike Ockrent - these are only a few of the people that I have tried to emulate in my life.  Although I could never even hope to get close to their greatness (although I did double date with Gene Kelly once - do you remember that Shannon?), in my zeal to be like them I found myself pushing myself to be better and because of that I accomplished so many things in my life.  I don't always talk/brag about them but they shaped who I am and I'm grateful for that.

10)  Everyone I ever met in my life - Yes, I know its very esoteric but I have been shaped by all of those who have come into my life and as a result I am who I am and I am in the place where I should be.  Meeting each of you and interacting with you has shaped me in miniscule ways the way the gently lapping waves eventually shape the largest stones on the shore.  I have become who I am becuase of you and I am grateful for that.

9)  Joey Patton - It may seem odd that I put one particular person down as someone/something for which I am grateful but if it wasn't for this man I would not be where I am in life right now - I truly believe that.  I answered an ad in Backstage for dancers who could sing who were needed for a production of Seven Brides for Seven Brothers.  Up until that point I had all of two musicals under my belt - being more of a concert dancer.  Joey saw something in me and when my friend James Heatherly's agent managed to knock him out of the role, Joey offered it to me.  Becuase of that role I obtained my Equity card and I met the person who would become my best friend, my partner and my wife.  That role also opened up doors for what would eventually become my performing career.  If it wasn't for him, I can't imagine what my life would be like now.

8)  Everyone who has supported Connor's Army - From the sponsors to the riders in the various Victory Rides, from those who have donated to any of our fundraising events to each and every person who has added our Connor's Army facebook page to their likes.  Your support and your belief in the value of what we/I am trying to do is what keeps me going.  There have been some dark times in the last year where I really began to fall into despair and wonder if I would ever be able to do this but then support would come from an unforseen quarter and I would be revived.  We still need sponsors to help us cover the costs of our cross country ride but I do believe that will come from somewhere - because your support has given me the faith that it will happen.

7)  Black Betty and Black Pearl - I'm just grateful that I have not one but two bicycles that I can still manage to climb on to and find my purpose.  Although my body is not what it used to be and all the dance injuries are beginning to creep up on me - I can climb on one of these beauties and  work through my problems, find inspiration, and put things into perspective - just keep pedaling!

6)  My family - Not my immediate family, three of whom are sleeping upstairs and one of which is rehearsing downtown - but those who raised me, grew up with me and who came back  into my life at the age of 38.  We don't get to see each other as often as we would like but you are always a part of me and you have made me who I am.  My values are because of you, my intelligence and natural gifts are becuase of you, my DNA is becuase of you.  I love you all and without you I would be incomplete.

5)  My father - Yes, I know technically he is part of the grateful above but my father deserves to be thanked on his own.  Whenever I think of my father I find myself constantly thinking of the song "The Leader of the Band".  In particular I think of the lyrics, "he earned his love through discipline, a thundering velvet hand/and his gentle means of sculpting souls took me years to understand".  My father has had his flaws but he was the best father I could ever have hoped for.  He was a career military man and he taught me by example the importance of honor, of keeping your word, and of working for something that was higher and bigger than yourself.  As a kid, even though he was a single father working two jobs (his job as a Sargeant in the Army and as a night janitor), he found time to be active in the Y-Indian Guides with me, assistant coach my Little League team (I wasn't very good) and be a den leader for our Weblo den.  As I write this he is in the early stages of Parkinson's and yet he finds time to be a Eucharistic Minister for the homebound taking the sacrament of communion to those who can't make it to mass.  He has never done anything for accolades or pride, except the pride in doing his best.  I am grateful to be my father's son.

	leader of the band dan fogelberg.mp3
	Found at bee mp3 search engine

4)  My family's Health - I'm spending next summer riding in support of children who are fighting cancer and I constantly ride with the list of those who are fighting the disease, have won the fight, or have lost the fight in my head.   Three of my four sisters are survivors.  My mothers are survivors.  My father is fighting Parkinson's.  And yet I am grateful that my wife and children have all been spared the ravages of anything more than a cold and allergies.  I am grateful that I don't have to worry about their medications or if they'll make it to their next birthday.  They are all healthy and I can sleep knowing they're okay.

3)  Reconnecting with my friends - This year has been an incredible year thanks to the miracle of Facebook (see #24 above).  I have reconnected with dear friends that I had drifted away from because of time and distance and I'm so glad they are back in my life.  Friends like Pat Dwyer and Stephen Mosher whose wedding on the beach we attended and who were so amazing in supporting Sarah as she stood in front of 600+ people to give a thank you speech for winning the AFP's Philanthropy Day Leaders of Tomorrow Award.  You have both been so incredibly supportive of my family and we love you so much!  So supportive that your current profile pictures are you with my children!  Friends like Marci Reid, Laurelle Rethke (Auntie Laurelle!), James Heatherly and others of the "Texas Mafia".  Friends like Shannon McNulty Burwell - the object of my double date with Gene Kelly and the list goes on.  Being able to "talk" to you via FB reminds me of who I am, where I've come from, and what it means to be part of larger community. 

2)  My Children - It is not always easy to be the father of a "tween" but when she looks at you and says, "I'm so glad your my dad" it makes your heart melt and you thank God for life and for the fact that you must have done something right to deserve that moment.  I am so proud of Sarah and all that she has accomplished this year.  She has received so many awards and accolades this year for her environmental and fundraising work and yet she has managed to stay humble and truly cognizant of what they all mean.  She has also managed to maintain her curiosity and wonder.  She is truly growing up to be a beautiful young lady.  My boys can be rambunctious but they are my pride and joys and I couldn't be prouder to be their daddy.  Their passion for life and the friendship they share with each other is something I never had growing up since my sisters were so much younger than me.  They are truly each other's best friend and I'm so glad to see they are growing up as truly kind and caring young men.  They remind me of what it means to be a gentleman and a "gentle man".

1)  My Wife - Amy is my best friend, my soul mate, me right hand, my everything.  Some sort of convergence occured to bring us together (see the note about Joey Patton above) and my life has been magical ever since.  Yes, we've had some very hard times due to all of the infertility we expereinced and we have our dark periods even now.  But I could not imagine my life without her by my side.  Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and just gaze at her sleeping face until I fall asleep.  Every day I wake up grateful for the beautiful woman beside me and for the amazing family she has given me.  I don't know what I did in another life to deserve her (if you believe in the teachings of Buddha) but I am grateful for whatever it was I did to draw her to me and to keep her by my side.

	Tracy Byrd - The Keeper Of The Stars .mp3
	Found at bee mp3 search engine

And that my friends is my list of gratefuls for this year.  I thank you if you made it this far and I thank you for being part of my life - I guess I have yet one more grateful after all!

Stay well and I'll see you on the road!

Yin and Yang Keeps All in Harmony

I'm not sure if Buddha ever rode a bicycle (even though he could have built his own out of bamboo).  Of course to do that he might have to travel to the exotic land of Brook - lyn to do so which is a far trek from Shangri La.  And under no circumstances should this be confused with the group Sha Na Na which started as a group called "The Kingsmen" back in 1969.  They had their own television variety show for a while.  If you never saw them, this is what they look(ed?) like performing "Get A Job" in 1973 which they actually performed in 1969 at Woodstock - yes THE Woodstock;



And what does all of this have to do with anything you may ask?  Its all about the Yin and Yang of Life.  Let's take a little journey, shall we?

For many of you who know me,  I have spent most of my life growing up in a Korean-American household.  This means I've gotten some really different influences in my life that I'm very grateful for but at the same time probably contributed to the Gemini/bi-polar mess that I am.  For those of you who have followed this blog, you know that I spent my misspent high school years in Germany at Ansbach American High School.  While there I participated in a variety of activities including sports (football, wrestling, soccer, baseball), band (marching, concert, jazz) and drama/forensics.  I was a very busy boy and yet I still managed to keep my grades up enough to be in the National Honor Society.  I have no idea how that happened. 

Anyway one of the other things I did while there to tap into my Korean heritage was to take Tae Kwon Do lessons.  Now I probably could have taken a form of Karate, or Kung Fu but my cousin was living with us at the time and he had some previous experience with Tae Kwon Do as well so I worked with him and with a teacher who was stationed at the base.  He was completely old school and we worked our butts off almost every day for two years.  We learned forms, we learned to use weapons and we learned to fight in a controlled environment.  I even went to a tournament once and I did okay but no trophy.  The point was he was old school and he treated us fairly but firmly and we respected him and really learned the material.  With my cousin's help I worked very hard and I advanced to second degree green belt in two years but that's as far as I got.  Now when I mean "old school" I don't necessarily mean this;



or even quite like this (sorry, this one is from Brazil so its in Portuguese - but if you've seen the movie you know what's going on);




So, no he didn't use anything to trick us into it rather he just made us work hard although I wouldn't have been adverse to this "old school" technique;



No, it was just hard work and lots of practice, drilling and sparring.  And we NEVER used pads.  We used mouthpieces most of the time but never EVER with pads.  I remember my cousin clocking me in the mouth with a spinning back roundhouse kick that knocked me off my feet.  That was cool to see coming at you but not so much when it hit.  My point is that "old school" training or even "back in the day" training (to see when that was just check below)

(you see it ranges from the front haunches to the mid spine - borrowed from Bikesnob NYC)

when you were really training to learn the art and the reason behind the technique and the traditions behind it you would never see five-year-old black belts trave;ing around and giving demonstrations or young Circassian boys getting their black belts in Tae Kwon Do;



Yes, they may have learned the "moves" but the maturity and understanding to use it correctly is not always there.  Nor the respect or the patience or the multitude of other things.  Now some may say, "well its not REAL, its only a junior black belt" but to the kids when they are bragging/telling others there is no distinction made.  They simply say "I'm a black belt".  Now don't get me wrong, I'm not jealous but let's be realistic here and see the real problem.  Everyone is after quick results and instant gratification.  A black belt in five years (that's assuming they started right out of the womb).  Where is the balance?  Where is the harmony?  How can there truly be any?

Why do you ask am I even talking about any of this at all?  Well today was a day of experience the true nature of Yin and Yang and the ebb and flow of balance.  Today was a day of sadness for me, much more than I thought I would have but it truly was difficult for me.  I had been preparing for it all week but  when it actually came it was a bit more than I excpected.  You see, today was my last day at Sunrise for the next two years.  Next summer I won't be at camp since at this time next year I should be somewhere in Western Virginia getting for the final push up the coast.   Yes, at long last it will REALLY happen, either solo or supported but next summer Connor's Army XC happens.

As exciting as that will be it was saddening to know that I won't be back, especially when so many of the campers told me how much they would miss me and drama.  This year I was the only drama teacher so I got to see every single kid in camp from the smallest Acorns to the oldes CIT's and all the counselors in between.  I saw some kids who couldn't be bothered to try drama become some of the first to volunteer or to come up to me during the day and say "what are we doing in drama today?"  Although I reall missed being able to teach dance as well, being the only drama teacher this summer really allowed me to make some connections - connections I hope will last me two years.

To counter act this Yin (blackness, negativity, sadness) was a good deal of Yang (whiteness, positivity, happiness) to even everything all out.

To begin with, after months of having pain in my lower back area and putting off going to the orthopedist, I finally went yesterday morning and found out I have sacralization of my L5 vertabrae.  Although I'll have to go to physical therapy (the Yin) I won't have to have surgery (the Yang) at least for now - Yay!

Secondly, we finally have our donation link up on the Sunrise Day Camp home page!  You can see it by going here - and if you happen to feel moved to make a donation - even better.  Go Yang!

Thirdly, I have been working with a camper who is a high school student (i.e., Leadership) and he came to camp with very little swimming experience.  He is an accomplished athlete and has great power but hasn't really swam much in the past.  I've been working with him to try to get him from level two (the small three foot pool with elementary/middle school kids) to the big pool (i.e., four to six foot).  We've had our ups and downs and he has gotten so close on so many occasions but the swim instructors were hesitant to put him up above.  Well today he made it!!!!!!   He was so incredibly happy and they let him stay there.  I was so proud of him and what he's accomplished!  Again, go Yang!

And lastly, we've been working on trying to get a sprinkler system and a patio put into our back yard.  The patio is not so important but I just don't want my grass to completely die while we're away next summer so we're putting in a system to keep it watered during the two months we're away.  We just found out that the company putting in the system might be interested in sponsoring us!  Woohoo!  Even if it's not much, every little bit helps and we'll be able to have the money we need to pay for gas!!!!!!

Now all this good news/bad news may not completely give me inner peace like our friend here;



but it really makes the sadness of not seeing my Sunrise family for two years (except for the occasional Sunrise Sunday) a little easier to bear (get it?).

Stay well and I'll see you on the road.