To Our Significant Others - We Can't Help It, We're Obsessed!

Chances are if you are in a loving, committed relationship your significant other may have some quirks.  Now these might take the form of things they collect, hobbies they may have, little idiosyncracies, or personal peeves of theirs.  Usually early on in the relationship you may find these incredible endearing, even cute.  But, their comes a time when this cute hobby, collection, idiosyncracy or peeve becomes "not so cute" in the words of Bernardo (you know, West Side Story).  In fact, you start to worry that your significant other might just be obsessed and you'll seek an opportunity for an intervention.

And don't get me wrong, I'm not talking about a harmless obsession like a crush on somebody a la Paramore;

No, if your relationship with your significant other is strong and has passed the test of time, then a little crush is not what you should be worried about.  No, I'm talking full-fledged obsession as in borderline addiction!

It may be an addiction to shoes;

(None of these pumps go with my dress - time to go shopping!!!!)

It might be an obsession to football which leads some of them to make videos like this;



or even to dress up like this;

(Hey, nothin' a little cold cream won't fix!)

Or for those who prefer the South American style of football their obsession could lead to this kind of behavior;



Or perhaps they have an obsession with the game "Words With Friends";



Or perhaps it is an addiction/obsession to/with (*gasp*) FACEBOOK!!!!!!!!



Or it could be  an unhealthy preoccupation with Harry Potter;



Maybe your significant other is obsessed with being a paradigm of physical fitness;

        

(And I will here admit that during my high school years I spent a lot of time trying to become a bodybuilder myself)

Or maybe your loved one has a strange preoccupation with late night Christian cable Televsion;

Or perhaps your significant others' obsession is with The Internet itself with all the amazing and wonderful things it has to offer;



And these obsessions can destroy our lives - they can turn us into individuals that spend every single waking hour fixating on the object of our desire, so much so that it can turn us into cold and distant beings.  We can become withdrawn and taciturn and cause distress to our significant others - spouses, boyfriends, girlfriends, partners - we hurt them all with our distance.

For myself, I have to admit something to all of you who have been following this blog.  I have a secret obsession with cycling;




I know, I know - I need a twelve step program.  But to get to the twelve step program site I have to ride my bike to get there, which only feeds into my obsession.  Which bike do I take?  Which helmet do I wear?  Which jersey would look best, the Connor's Army or the retro Z Team jersey from the early 90's?  Just trying to get better causes even more obsession.

But you all have to understand the distance we who are obsessed sometimes fall into has nothing to do with the ones we love.  Sometimes we can't help ourselves.  It takes over and its all we can think about.  Witness for instance the following scenario;

So you see - its not you - its us.  We can't help ourselves.  It doesn't mean we love you any less when we're caught up in our thoughts, and rarely are we thinking of someone else.  My long suffering wife Amy probably wonders sometimes if I'm having an affair.  She hears me muttering about Pearl, Betty and Ariel and I'm sure she thinks I'm seeing someone on the side.  And yes, there are times when I sneak down to the basement and caress one of these beauties or I linger to lube her chain or add another coat of wax to her shiny skin.  I can't help it, they call to me.  When they speak to me in a language of creaks and clunks I have to figure out what's ailing them, and I obsess over how I can make it better.

But for the most part Amy has borne this with a patience and an understanding.  She understands that it is only part of what makes me the unique person that I am and that nothing and no one will ever supplant the passion and love I feel for her.  I would venture to say that its the same for YOUR loved one.  They have those quirks, they have their way of doing things (Lord knows Amy does) and they have the things that drive them and allow them to blow off the stress of every day life.  But at the end of the day they love you/us and they always will.  So embrace their obsessions - as long as they don't involve a duck, a slip and slide and two gallons of extra virgin olive oil - becuase that kind of obsession is just WAYYYYYYY unhealthy.

So Amy and my family will let me engage in my obsession and take it on the road in the summer of 2012.  Syosset High School groups are starting to join us in fundraising for this cross country event and I'm listening even more intently to the creaks, squeaks and groans of Pearl - after all she'll be under me for 3600 miles, the least I can do is listen to her!  You too can help Pearl and me make a difference and if you become obsessed with our journey in the process - well that's okay too!

Stay well my friends and I'll see you on the road - hopefully tomorrow!