What A Difference A Year Makes

(Now where did I leave that Mallet?)

So a year ago on January 9, 2012 I wrote about the trials and tribulations I had just faced and how I was just beginning to crawl out of one of the lowest points of my personal life.  I entitled the entry "Finding My Sanity" and it primarily detailed how I was finally being able to make sense of my life after being personally attacked by a parent as a result of the casting of Beauty and the Beast all of which I chronicled here. 

Although I waxed rather optimistically in that January 9 posting, the truth was that her vindictive actions caused much more damage to our efforts to raise money for Sunrise Day Camp than I at that time anticipated.  Because of this parent's actions I wasn't able to talk about the Connor's Army Ride Across America to students, parents or even my colleagues at school until the very end.  I wasn't allowed to share this momentous undertaking with those people that I spend the most time of my life with (well aside from my own family) and it really caused a schism between myself and many members of the club.  A schism that I fear still survives in small amounts to this day.  I still get feelings that certain of that young ladie's friends who have yet to graduate are still viewing me with the same distrust, anger and ill will - the seeds of which were sown by this young lady and her mother.  And I have to say, of all the casting decisions I have ever made, this one has made in my life this one has made me the most sad because of the long term effects it had on the club and on the life of innocent children who could have been helped.

This all comes about as a result of the fact that we have recently cast the latest SHS musical and once again there are students whose lives have been affected and who are angry at me because of casting decisions I have made.  I wish I could say that I gotten used to it but I don't think I ever will.  However, a friend of mine who is retired from the High School directing game told me that he used to describe the casting process by using the analogy of putting together a puzzle.  There are many beautiful pieces, each of them completely unique unto itself and many are capable of matching up with other pieces.  However, its only when you get the right combination of pieces in the right spots that you can truly see the beauty of the complete picture.  Keeping that image in my head has helped me to keep my sanity this time.  Even thought I may find myself less patient with the kids now than I used to be, and much more ready to tell them to just shut up and either do it or don't I have learned.  This year has taught me that I need to continue to be true to myself and stop pussyfooting around those who didnt' get cast the way they wanted to be.  I can't rearrange the puzzle just becuase one piece wants to be in a different place.  So the year has made a difference.

Another difference is that the event that was once a dream has actually happened.   Every since I started the Connor's Army organization with the help of my wife Amy one of the main goals in the back of my mind was to ride across America to raise money to help the cancer community.  After working at Sunrise Day Camp three summers ago I knew that my effort to do so would best serve those kids.  The original time frame (Summer 2011) didn't work out because I waited to long to try and get sponsors and to get my logistics together.  After a second summer of working at Sunrise I knew beyond a doubt that my efforts would go to good use at the camp and I vowed that even if I had to do it alone and unsupported, summer 2012 would be the year it happened.

It wasn't easy to plan and to be honest without my wife's superior planning skills it never would have happened.  It was her logistics, her booking skills and her patience that made it possible.  Add to that the complete support of my three children (who also rode along) and we were committed (some would argue we should have been) to the plan.  After 74 days away from home and more than 6,000 miles of round trip travel, we arrived at the grounds of Sunrise on August 24th to the welcome of friends, family, staffers and campers.  We made some amazing memories along the way and I am so grateful to my family for making this possible.  Not only my immediate family but my sisters, brothers-in-law, nephews, nieces, parents, and my ACT family.  Their love  and support (and in some cases sponsorships - thank you Laura) made our journey possible and in the process (when you add in Sarah's coming of age celebration) helped us to raise $25,000 for Sunrise - enough for four campers.  It was only half of our original dream but it will still make a huge difference.

It didn't come without a cost of sorts.  The first thing we learned is sometimes no good deed goes unpunished as we chronicled in a post at the end of August.  It seems our house sitter left us in worse state than we left and it took us a long time (not to mention quite a bit of money) to dig ourselves out of the complications his staying here caused.

The other cost came in the fact I wasn't able to join the Northport Fire Department, at least initially.  I went for the interview last May and it all seemed to be very, very promising.  However, at the end of the interview with all of the chiefs they asked me if I had any questions.  I let them know our plans for the summer, why I was doing it and asked if that would be a problem.  They all agreed that I would lose too much training time and I would end up coming in as the new guy that nobody knew.  I have to admit I was a bit crushed.  Every since we moved to Northport I've seen the ambulance going by our house and I would see the bicycle EMT's at all the parades and village events.  I've always wanted to be a part of that and give back to my community but I had to wait until the kids were older and I had finished my Master's in School District Leadership.  Originally I had hoped to join last December, get my training done and be a certified EMT before we left for the cross country trip.  But alas it was not to be.  I worred and fretted that perhaps I had lost my window of opportunity and wouldn't get the chance to join.

But lo and behold, I called them when we came back and to make a short story short - I was sworn in to the Northport Fire Department on December 6th, 2012!!!!!!

Since then I've been able to go out on about 40 calls and I make it my goal to try to learn a new piece of knowledge or skill set for each call I go out on.  So far I've been successful in that goal and I'm enjoying it so much.  I'm still in the honeymoon stage in that whenever my beeper goes off Amy and the kids still say "Bye Daddy!"  I know that it won't last much longer but for now I'm glad I'm helping my community.  I've already spoken to officers in the department and I'm DEFINITELY going to be part of the bike squad starting this spring as I don't have to be certified to work on the bike squad - I just have to go on calls with someone who is.  Next goal is to become a certified EMT!!!!  All in due time!

So, its been a busy year and I haven't touched on EVERYTHING that's happened in our busy lives but that's the majority of what's been going on with me and the family and Connor's Army.  I have lots of goals this year, and one of them is to reinvent our mission for Connor's Army - any suggestions out there?????  Perhaps I should revisit the idea I had last year to combine two of my passions and create a Connor's Army Bicycle Ballet Troupe;



Stay well (and thirsty) my friends and I'll see you on the road!



Manhattan to Northport - Now What?

Total Miles Ridden Today - 60.77  Average Miles Per Hour - 15.7

The tears had been coming off and on since I started crossing the George Washington Bridge, and no it wasn't because I was heading East and the sun was in my eyes.  When I looked South and saw the Freedom Tower and the rest of the Manhattan skyline I knew I was only 60 miles away from a journey that started ten weeks and almost 3700 miles ago.  The realization that I might actually do this, the gratitude I was feeling for my family who suffered with me through this journey, and the knowledge that something that had consumed me for almost a year would soon be finished all rushed together to hit me with a Tsunami of emotion.  This tidal wave of emotion would ebb and flow all day long, sometimes hitting me harder than I ever imagined it would.

As I crossed the bridge my family drove slowly in the right hand lane with Sarah in the front seat filming my progress across the bridge for the documentary Phil will be putting together of our journey.  Of course, I don't think they captured the moment I missjudged one of the sharp little bends around the support girders and hit that steel beam.  Ouch!!!!  I have a really nice red gash on my back.  Not too deep but enough to remind me of the perils of not paying attention. 

Before I knew it I was on Broadway and 177th Street heading South!!!  IT WAS SO FREAKING COOL!!!!!!!!  You see, when I lived in Manhattan I never owned a bicycle.  I did rollerblade down Broadway on my way from midtown to Goldman Sachs in the mornings but its not quite the same as rolling through the streets at 20 mph and actually rolling through the red lights (ala Kevin Bacon in Quicksilver, or Joseph Gordon Levitt in Premium Rush), I felt like such a scofflaw. 

To be honest, I crossed the GWB at 6:30 because I thought it would take me an hour and a half to get down to the WPIX Channel 11 studios on east 42nd Street.  I made sure to take video at key stops along the way, Upper Manhattan, Barnard College, Columbus Circle, Times Square among others. 

Before I knew it I was at the studios and getting prepared to be the Friday Forecaster!!!!  My family joined me shortly after I arrived and the children immediately discovered in the Green Room an electronic Monopoly set - they set themselves right to the task of playing in their usual cutthroat style!

I was soon wired up and ushered in to meet Linda Church for my blocking and directions as Friday Forecaster.  We were sitting there all relaxed and prepared for to go on at 8:45 when we were told there was breaking news and we had to go on in two - good thing I can handle a little improv!!!  We were a little rushed for time but it came out great as you can see here.  It got the name of Sunrise Day Camp out on everyone's minds and hopefully it may have generated a donation or two.

And then it was time to hit the road for the final push into Long Island.  In my brain dead state (read yesterday's blog and you'll see why I was completlely groggy and bleary-eyed upon waking up this morning) I had forgotten my Garmin Edge in the hotel so Amy and the kids had to go back and get it after filming me crossing the bridge.  They then had left it down in the van which was on East 23rd so I had to go down and retrieve it before heading across the Queensborough Bridge.  By now we were into rush hour and the cycling commuter match race was on.  I'm sorry, I couldn't resist spanking a few of these commuters on their home turf as I breezed by them heading uptown - I was on a mission to get home and could not afford to take any prisoners!

Of course, once I crossed the QBB my Google Maps directions were useless as was my Garmin.  Too much detail to deal with and I was too brain dead.  So I hopped into a local bike shop and got a copy of the official NYC bike map.  That turned out to be a blessing since now I had a safe bike route through Queens and Flushing.  I connected with Northern Boulevard/25A and I knew I was on my way - 40 miles to go!!!!!  I managed to get through Douglaston unscathed into Nassau County - and here is where the fun began.

Now I have cycled across the country in all types of terrain and on all types of road surfaces with all types of traffic.  I was nervous and frightened in New Jersey but it was nothing compared with what faced me once I hit the Great Neck/Manhassat area.  It was as if I was wearing a sign on the back of my jersey that said "I DARE You To Hit Me!!!!" since I was closely buzzed (as in closer than THREE feet) about six times and almost right hooked once.  The only thought in my head was "really, I survive 3680 miles only to get killed now?!?".

Eventually I found the blessed relief I was looking for - Brookville Road!  I knew I was only 20 miles from Sunrise at this point and the tears began flowing again.  Suddenly I had new energy and the 3% steady inclined felt as if I were going downhill.  I KNOW THESE ROADS!!!!!  This is my turf now, roads I have ridden in the Gold Coast and with the Huntington Bicycle Club.  And then I made the left onto Muttontown Road - almost to Syosset!!!!  Before I knew it I was there on Cold Springs Harbor Road heading for Stillwell Lane.

And the tears continued to flow.  I was in familiar territory, roads I commuted and trained on so many, many times.  As I sped down Stillwell Lane I could barely see for the tears of joy and gratitude streaming down my face.  I was going to do it!!  After years of talking about it, soliciting sponsors, hoping and praying for donations, working so hard to try to help the kids of Sunrise, I was actually going to finish this!

I crossed over into Plainview and headed up Hartman Hill Road and once again I thought of Amy Hartman and how we always try to connect when she's in Manhattan and still have yet to do so.  I do so want to make that happen.

And then I was passing down Sweet Hollow Road, this was my uber long commute route and I knew every twist and turn coming up.  And during all of this time I'm constantly trying to ride and talk on my cell phone with my mother-in-law who had called earlier and told me the folks from Channel 12 News were trying to catch me so they could get some footage of me riding on the road.  It was only when I called Amy that I found out they were with her at our rendezvous point.  Now the time trialing began!  I had to get there, I was running late and people were waiting on me - I HATE to keep people waiting!

There was one last hill to conquer - the one that heads up Bagatelle Road to the LIE Service Road.  It's short, its steep and it has always been a pain in my butt when I train.  This time I cursed my way up the hill - cursing cancer the entire short, punchy way - "come on you BITCH, you want a piece of me?!?! - Take this, and THIS!!!"  and I punched my way up the hill and over the LIE!  I headed down the hill on the other side and there they were, my family!!!!!  And waiting with them were the crew from Channel 12 News!  I pulled over, put my bike away and started to cry again as I hugged my beautiful and long suffering wife.  My wife who made this entire thing possible.  Because of her all I had to do was focus on getting up and pedaling every day.  Because of her I wasn't slowly dessicating in a ditch in Arizona somewhere.  Becuase of her I still had some of my sanity left.

So after hugging her (and crying some more) I was wired up by the Channel 12 cameraman so he could get all the audio of me crossing the finish line.  The kids and I then lined up and the Channel 12 van rode in front of us to get footage as we rode the last two miles to the camp.  As usual I was herding cats on a bike, telling Sarah to speed up and William to slow down and sit down (for some reason he likes to ride standing up, even with the padded shorts) but as we neared the finish line Sarah told me to take the lead.  As I rounded the corner to where everyone was I started crying again and saw a banner stretched across the drive that said "Finish Line" (courtesy of my mother-in-law I think).  And what were the words that came out of my mouth that were captured on the Channel 12 broadcast?  "What happens if I crash?", ah words for posterity!

And then when I finally stopped my bike, turned around and saw who was there, you guessed it - I started crying even more.  Tears of joy, tears of gratitude, tears of exhaustion (mental, physical, emotional), and tears of sadness that this was over.  There were friends old and new, family, students (my ACT family - I love them), Sunrise staff, Sunrise Campers and parents, and media.  It was a bit overwhelming to say the least.

I was incredibly grateful that my sister-in-law Laura and brother-in-law Mark were there because I know how difficult it was arranging crazy schedules for them.  I was (and am still) so incredibly grateful and humbled that they believed enough in me to make this a priority in their busy lives.  I am so thankful to Amy, Leah, Emily and Deanna for not only being at the camp but also for making this little homecoming possible to be held at the campgrounds.  And I was overwhelmed by the love shown to me by my ACT family and friends.  After 3713 miles in the saddle, it was a blessing to have all of these people there.

After saying a few words of thanks and hugging everyone I could find, the media had questions and interviews for us.  Again, something I had to thank my wife for setting up.  She sent out press releases constantly and they finally fell on fruitful ground!  Now don't get me wrong, I'm not thankful of the publicity for my own sake.  I really didn't do any of this so that people would look at me or read about me and say, "what an amazing person he is, he is so wonderful, he is a great person" or any other such thing.  To me, and especially in this economy, its all about getting people aware and hoping that folks will step forward and make donations to Sunrise.  As of right now we're still $5,000 short of what we realistically hoped we could raise in this journey and we're really at a loss to figure out how to raise those funds.

Now I hate to be cynical but it seems that because its not one of my own children suffering from cancer we can't seem to get people to give.  My ACTers (past and present) raised so much through charity fundraisers, various groups at SHS also chipped in and many family and friends have donated but it just doesn't seem to be "sexy" enough for others to give.  We've met incredibly generous strangers on the road who have dipped into their pockets and handed us 20 or 30 dollars on the spot and said things like, "I just lost my father to cancer and I know what this is about, give this to the kids" and other similar comments.  Yet despite the press, the facebook posts and other social media people seem that they couldn't be bothered.  I know the economy is difficult but these kids (and their families) REALLY need this.  Its not a luxury, its a summer that can really mean THE difference to these families and their children.  I just wish I knew a way to appeal to the right audience.

And then there was Gina Mayer.  She was one of the campers that was there at the event.  At the end, after most of the interviews were done her mother Katherine brought her over and Gina handed me an envelope.  Katherine told me, "it was all Gina's idea".  I thanked and hugged her and honestly thought it was a thank you letter.  It wasn't until later on when I opened the envelope and discovered money inside that once again I lost it and the tears flowed down my face.  Here was a little girl who had been battling this disease, whose family was a recipient of the mission of this camp, and yet she felt that it was important for she herself to make a contribution.  If only the rest of the world who has read and seen my story could react the same way.

After we said our final goodbyes and loaded the kids' bikes back on the car, there was one final thing to do - I had to ride the water's edge at the end of Bergen Avenue in Babylon to dip my front wheel in the Atlantic ocean.  The journey started 64 days ago with us all dipping our rear wheels in the Pacific and with only eight miles to the ocean I couldn't walk away without doing it.  It wouldn't be coast to coast otherwise.

We arrived at what Google maps said was a clear access only to find there was no access to the water.  A restaurant near by had a floating dock so we started to take our bikes there when we were told it was a private dock and we needed to move our bikes.  We then explained what we had done (and the kids started handing out brochures) and that we just wanted to dip the front wheels in the Atlantic to finish the job.  They relented and were very supportive (an incredulous) about what we had done.  We dipped our wheels, chronicled it for Phil, thanked the folks and reloaded ALL the bikes onto the van for the very last time!

Time for food!  We drove back to Northport, still marveling at the surreal feel of it all and the odd sense of loss I think we all felt that this was now really over.  We enjoyed a great dinner at Sweet Mama's (one of our favorite restaurants) and headed home.  Only to be met with a nightmare of a mess.  We had been warned but the reality was something completely different.  But that will be fodder for another post!

For now, we are home, we are safe and we are grateful for everyone who has helped us make this possible!

And today's report;

FFR - 3 possums, 1 Beaver (On Long Island of All Places!), 10 birds of indeterminate species, 8 UFO's
RRL - Curiously, nothing out of the ordinary - I would have expected more from the middle of Manhattan.

Stay well and I'll see you on the road (this time on Long Island)!


For another perspective on our journey check out Amy's blog at http://www.crosscountrymama.blogspot.com//
To help us get the kids to Sunrise go to https://www.wizevents.com/register/register_add.php?sessid=1809&id=1056
Check out our website at http://www.connorsarmy.org/