Far Too Long - The Long and Winding Road

So all I can say is I'm sorry!  Looking at my blog I see that June 8th was the last time I wrote anything.  Tha'ts not to say that so much hasn't been swirling in my head, its just finding the time to sit down and put it down on paper, er, cyberspace.  I think part of my issue is that I feel like EVERYTHING I write has to be meaningful when in reality the purpose of this blog is not to provide enlightenment but rather information.  This blog was really conceived as a way to keep those of you who support Connor's Army updated on how things are going with our various fundraising efforts in fighting cancer.  Somewhere along the journey I got it into my head that if I wasn't scintillating or incredibly entertaining people would read my blog.  I think in the last few days I've realized that although we only have 52 OFFICIAL followers (and you incredibly special people know who you are), chances are there are many more people who do follow our blog (or at least did) and just didn't sign up.  Maybe some of you check periodically but have seen that nothing much has been going on.
Well, that is all going to change today.  First of all, A LOT has been going on in the last six weeks.  Too much to put all into one large blog entry so I'll break it up in installments as the days/weeks go on.  If you are new to our reading this blog, you can catch up on where we are by reading some of the older postings.  There are a lot (though not as many for 2011 as I really should have) and they can really tell you a lot about who we are and where we've come from.

Secondly, you can now sign up to be notified by e-mail whenever a new entry goes up so you don't have to keep wasting your time checking back to see if there is a new update - but of course, if that has been your personal cure for insomnia, I don't want to deprive you of that simply joy.  Speaking of which, here is a nice recording of it for those of you who missed it when I posted it before;

	Beautiful Small Machines - Simple Joys - MASTERED .mp3
	Found at bee mp3 search engine

A little electronica remix by the group Beautiful Small Machines - check them out if you've never heard of them at their website.  They describe themselves thusly on their myspace.com profile;

Beautiful Small Machines may be synthetic, but they’re not stupid. Caught somewhere between the 70’s, 80’s and deep space, this electro-pop duo (Bree Sharp, Don DiLego) learned about comedy from adult swim and heartache from Philip K. Dick and they’re spewing it all back out at you like a bunch of mandroids on whiskey and psycho-pharmaceuticals. Fun, Sad, Creepy and Clever – Beautiful Small Machines is the retro-future.

But I digress - which, if you've followed my blog is not that uncommon - my friend Danielle and I (actually she's a former student whose become a family friend now) usually go into these long rambling stream-of-consciousness correspondences so I think I've discovered that my brain just works that way - I make connections and my mind follows.  It might be a Gemini thing, I'm not sure.

Anyway, back to the point.  An incredible amount of exciting things have happened in the Connor household since my last blog entry.  The first is that (as it is for most everyone) it is summer vacation!!!!!!!  Now I love my job and I think I'm one of the luckiest people in the world to be able to do what I do with students who are so passionate about creating art and to be able to raise a family doing it.  But I do enjoy the (only slightly) more laid back pace of summer.  I don't have to worry about attendance or schedules or grades - I can just enjoy the days.

Now, my enjoying the days is different than someone elses.  Of course, given my own devices I would be either riding my bike all day or reading (right now I'm rereading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows in preparation to see the last movie and in case you - like me - are wondering why Tobuscus hasn't done a parody of the trailer yet, here is a fairly good substitute).  Or watching movies like this one;




But I am fortunate in that I do have a great job for the summer as well - one that rejuvenates me and reminds me what life is all about - working at Sunrise Day Camp!  To see the difference this camp makes in the lives of these campers is truly a humbling experience.  This year is a little different in that I'm only teaching drama instead of dance and drama but in doing so, I work with EVERY single camper in the entire camp from ages 3 1/2 (the Acorns) to 16 (the CIT group) and to see these kids have fun with drama and see them create and play really reminds me of why I do what I do during the year!  It makes next summer even more important.

And the second reason for the title of this blog now becomes clear - it is going to be far too long before we get on the road!  It will be a long and winding road to get to where we need to go and I appreciate all of you that have supported us.

For those of you new to reading this blog, we have had a few "missions" over the years since Connor's Army was created.  We've raised $13,000 for The American Cancer Society, we've held a few Victory Rides (the most recent one to benefit Sunrise Day Camp) and we've even enlisted Sarah to help in our efforts.

Our latest mission is our most important one yet - we are going to raise $50,000 for Sunrise!  It won't be easy and we still have a lot of underwriting sponsorship we need to procure to make it completely happen but we're well on our way.  We have some supportive sponsors already, we have 780 followers on our facebook page (yes, you can click on the blue to add us to your likes or just click on the button in the upper right of the page), and today we just had our first article in a national bicycling magazine - Bicycle Times.  They are now one of our sponsors and we're hoping to reach even more sponsors now.

Why "far too long"?  Because as of right now we are not scheduled to leave San Diego until June 23rd, 2012.  Its a long way off and there is lots of work to be done but part of me can't wait to get started with the riding.  This past year we lost three of our Sunrise campers to this damnable disease.  I've lost another couple of friends to the disease and one of my colleagues, Jeff Rozran, is now fighting his own battle with lung cancer.  This journey cannot begin soon enough for with every pedal stroke I'll be fighting this disease for my family, my friends, my colleagues and my campers.

We have a little less than a year now and we still need sponsors.  We keep hoping that a few more "angels" will step forward and offer to help us.  Its become very frustrating becasue we keep reaching out to various businesses but we never receive an answer.  Not even a "no" just silence.  And although the sound of silence can sometimes be a wonderful thing and can help you reach that state of inner peace;



(Everybody say Ommmm)

or maybe yours looks more like this;

(Everybody say Kung Fu Panda)

However, the sound of silence has not brought any inner peace to us.  It has really perplexed us and left us wondering what we have to do to find the truth of the matter is that we need help to be able to make this happen.  If any of you reading this have any ideas, let us know as we are willing to try any angle to help us raise the funds we need to make this happen.  We know that now we are starting to make the PR connections the donations to the camp can start to flow into the camp.  Our hope is that people will see what we are trying to do and will open their hearts and their purses to these children.  I mean, if we could raise $12,000 with me just commuting 2,000 miles in an entire year, we should be able to generate $50,000 for me doing the same thing in just 70 days.  But we need to find an angel (or two).

	Thrice - Send Me An Angel .mp3
	Found at bee mp3 search engine

And that is part of why this is far too long.  The mileage doesn't bother me - I know we can do it.  I just want us to get started, to get started in fight and to get these campers the funds that will make an incredible summer possible for them.

And now one last song to get us all in the mood.  Every day as they cross the camp, a group of campers called the Timon Boys sing their own version of a classic Queen song, "We Will Rock You".  Instead of "We will" they sing "Timon Boys" will rock you!  So bear that in mind as you listen to an oldie but goodie;

	Queen - We Will Rock You .mp3
	Found at bee mp3 search engine

Stay well and I'll see you on the road (and in this blog MUCH more often)!

Let Me Sum Up/Mea Culpa - Part Deux

Okay so once again I find myself apologizing to all of you out there in cyberland.  But as the Scottish poet Robert Burns wrote in his poem "To A Mouse On Turning Up Her Nest With a Plow" (composed in 1785);

"But, Mousie, thou art no thy lane
In proving foresight may be vain:
The best laid schemes o' mice an' men
            Gang aft agley,
An' lea'e us nought but grief an' pain
            For promis'd joy."

Back in the day when I taught 9th grade English I used to use that as an introduction to John Steinbeck's Of Mice and Men;


(and yes, I know I bear a striking resemblance to Gary Sinese - if only!)

The basic gist (for those of you for whom it has been many years since you have read the novel) is that we can plan all we want but sometimes it just doesn't work out the way we planned (God laughs!)

And so it is with my pledge to update this blog more often.  I really have tried but a lot of things have gone on in the last few weeks.  And then today I checked on my blog and I realized that it had been 20 days since my last post.  I didn't know whether to do this;



or go to St. Philips across the street and recite the all too familiar litany.  Of course, for those of us who may be a little rusty on the whole confession process, you can go to this link sponsored by Catholic.org.  Either way, to you my sometime blog followers, as your sometime blog contributor I apologize as it has been 20 days since my last installment.  I would welcome your comments (yes, you can post the comments you know) on this sit or you can go to OUR facebook page (and of course, the link is in the upper right hand corner of this blog) and get updates that way.  OR, you could do both - I'm just saying.

So where was I?  Oh yes, forgive me reader for I have erred and it has been 20 days since my last installment.  And, as is the case with my life, SOOOOOOO much has happened.  So once again, in the true spirit of Inigo Montoya:


In other words, LET ME SUM UP!

When last I left you oh intrepid readers my brain was pretty much mush from my efforts on the New York State Teacher Certification Examination for School District Administration.  I was pretty well wrung out and happy to have it over.  Of course, now I find out that in order to get said certification (I'm pretty sure I passed the district leader test) I also have to take the Building Leader test - another 8 hours of brain numbing torture!!!!  Talking about a self imposed lobotomy!

So what has been happening since March 6th?

First of all, on Saturday, March 12th after an amazing final tech rehearsal for SHS's production of Bye Bye Birdie, my family and I participated in St. Baldrick's Day at Napper Tandy's in Northport. We even got a write up in Newsday!  And for those who can't seem to operate your clicking finger to go to those links, in the spirit of immediate gratification here is the after photo;

(Notice William's the only one looking directly at this camera!)

There were tons of cameras there so in the above photo we're all looking at different ones!  I have to say I'm incredibly proud of my children for being so brave and doing this.  I'm especially proud of 11-year-old Sarah.  To be the only girl in her entire middle school to do this was exceptionally brave but she took it in stride and I think she may have even gained a few new friends from it.

The following week saw the entire family living much of our time at the high school as it was "Hell Week" for our production of Bye Bye Birdie. 

We had a great write up done on us by The Syosset Patch  (or you can see it here) The only down side of the entire production was that we didn't have the audience draw that we normally do.  I'm pretty sure it was due to the new way that we have instituted for ticket sales.

That brings up to this past week.  Aside from trying to recuperate from a lot of expended brain matter, I also had to catch up on my administrative classes.  We are down to our last two courses!!!!!  Soon I'll have my evenings back and I can actually see my family!

But along with the celebration there was also sadness.  We lost a camper last Saturday who had been valiantly fighting a rare form of cancer for three years.  Although I only got to know her for eight weeks (and only twice a week at that), she made a very permanent impression on me.  Here was a little girl who was obviously very sick and yet she was always smiling and she always loved taking part in the theatre and dance classes.  It wasn't until much later that I found out that dancing was one of her favorite things.  It explains why on the very last day when I had her for dance class she came up to me while I was changing the music and kissed me on the head, hugged me and said "thank you."  I was really looking forward to seeing her again this summer.  Instead I went to her wake on Monday and I was broken up by how strong her parents had to be and how much of an impression this little girl had made on so many people. 

I had found out about her passing the Sunday morning before our final show.  I actually spoke about her without mentioning her name and I told my cast that they had to remember that what they were doing was a blessing and that they had to relish every single moment on stage.  I told them that they wouldn't know if there was a little six year-old girl in the audience whose dream they were living and they needed to perform for those little ones to the best of their ability.  I then called places and I noticed that one of the young ladies in the cast was really broken up (I mean, a lot of tears were shed after that "motivational" speech because it was the last show - especially for some of the seniors).  I asked her if she were okay and she said that her six-year-old cousin has also passed away the morning before.  In one of those moments of synchronicity, we discovered it was the same girl.  We hugged each other for a moment and she was okay to go on and we called places.  The kids managed to give an incredible performance - one that they will remember for a long time.

And speaking of performances.  Something else happened.  Amy auditioned for a role in a local production of Oliver! and she was cast in the role of Nancy.  She then found out that they needed more boys to play orphans and she offered up Sarah (with her shorn hair) and it ended up they could also use the boys.  The only problem is that opening weekend of that show is also the weekend of our Spring production at SHS.  However, it looks like I'll also be taken part as a member of the adult ensemble - so in another week THE ENTIRE CONNOR CLAN WILL BE ONSTAGE TOGETHER FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER!!!!!!!
Get your tickets now because who knows when this will happen again!

We also got the final go ahead to start publicizing the fundraiser organized by my friend and colleague Peter Haughwout.  He coordinates an art cooperative called Studio 85 and in conjunction with another art group they are going to hold an art exhibit with proceeds from the entry fee going to sponsor the Connor's Army cross country ride.  You can get the information here.  An dthey even created this really cool poster for the event;

Now how cool is that?  I want one for my office it's Walt Whitman in a really funky colorway!  Since its an art exhibit at the Walt Whitman Birthplace Museum I thought it was incredibly fitting.  Walt Whitman the rock star!

But Sarah also was a bit of a mini star this past week as she was one of only two sixth graders to get a principal role in her middle school's production of Alice in Wonderland, Jr. She was cast as the littlest of three Chesire Cats and if that doesn't conjur up images of cuteness, then this picture will verify them;

And if that's not enough Chesire Cuteness for you, you can go here and get 25 other vision of how she ROCKED the costume.  Okay, am I a proud stage papa or what?

And then there was yesterday - Friday, March 25th.  A year ago I lost my little brother David.  I wrote about it at the time in a posting and even though a year has past, I still have the same regret - that I never made the effort to know him as well as I should have once we were reunited. 

He was a simple guy, a basic guy but from the little I got to be with him he was a caring guy with a wry sense of humor (as you can see from the twinkle in his eye in the above photo) .  I wish that my kids had gotten the chance to know their uncle David.  I wish I had gotten to know him much better.  Yesterday brought a lot of that back to me.  It may not be my biggest regret, but certainly one of them.
 
We also held the callbacks for our upcoming production of The Laramie Project.  It's an emotional enough show as it is but I had decided that for the callback I wouldn't give the kids cold readings but instead I wanted them to tell me a story from their life (I know, very A Chorus Line right?) that had to do with loss (of anything or anyone), of bullying or a happy memory.  With 40 people it took a while and we all cried and learned a lot about each other.  I started it off by talking about David and my regret about not knowing him better.  The kids then told their stories and it wasn't until the end that I told them that the storytelling was the callback.  I wanted to hear how they told stories since that is what the show is all about, real people telling real stories of loss and of coping.  I learned a lot about my young actors and I think with the ensemble we'll put together there will be the kind of trust that they haven't had before.  I have to send them the cast list tomorrow.  Its going to be an emotional journey but since we are using it to make a stand against bullying and intolerance, one that I think will be worth the tears.

So that in a nutshell are the ups and downs, the trial and tribulations, the hills and valleys, the good and the bad of the last 20 days.  I really wish I could post on a daily basis like The Bike Snob but I just don't have the time -- at least not until my admin classes are finished.  But its all a part of this crazy journey we call life and after all - we've gotta a LOT of livin' to do!

	04 - A Lot of Livin to Do .mp3
	Found at bee mp3 search engine

The other thing I MUST be getting back to is my bike.  With the insane weather we've had and my incredibly busy schedule I haven't put in nearly enough miles and my fitness is suffereing.  Right now if I tried to ride with the AA boys I wouldn't make it 20 miles at their pace so I have a lot of work to do.

But most of all, we are edging ever closer to raising the last of the $6,000 that we need.  Every little bit counts and friends, family and former students are helping us reach our goal.  For those of you who keep up with this please help us by keeping your ears open and either approaching companies on our behalf or forwarding the information to us about interested companies.  Come hell or high water (or both!) we're cycling America in 2012 and we're going to raise the money for the kids! 

Your support in reading this blog has been so incredible and I thank you from the bottom of my heart.  Hey, if we can't be grateful for the friendships in life (even the cyber ones) what's the point?

Stay well and I'll see you on the road!

The Other Side of the Coin - Down but NOT (totally) Out! Please Read to the Very End!

So the weather up here on good old Long Island has been, to put it mildly, Sehr Schlect!  All you have to do is realize we've already used up all our snow days to know we (like everyone else in the country) have ahad a really bad winter.  I haven't gotten a lot of riding done (hence the dearth of posting) since I only got to ride yesterday for the first time in two weeks.  Between the snow, the ice, the sub-freezing temperatures and the last of my graduate classes, not a lot of opportunity has been had to ride.  So as yesterday was World Cancer Day and despite the fact that the temperature was 17 degrees at 6:30 in the morning (with a wind-chill of 9) nothing was going to keep me from riding my bike to work!

However, there is an old adage that says there are two sides to every coin and I have to realize that there is probably a reason for my not riding - maybe my knee is finally supposed to heal because of the (forced) rest.

So if we are truly going to embrace the optimistic philosphy that the glass is half full then we should remember that for everything that can be construed as a down turn there is always an up turn.  Otherwise, our view of the coin having two sides might end up like this guy's;

which is most decidedly (and obviously) pessimistic.  Other great two-face individuals who are/were probably pessimists include the two-faced Roman god Janus;

and former President George W. Bush;

(A man equally adept at looking at both sides of the issue - or talking out of both sides of his mouth)

But I choose to try to look at potential down turns as opportunities to learn and perhaps learn and grow.  That doesn't mean that I won't sing the blues a bit (though not as good as Josh White);



And I'll be very honest, I'm singing the blues real hard right now - at least on the inside - but more about that later.  Right now, I have to dwell on the good side of the coin or I'll end up a human version of this coin;

(The proper term is uniface coin)

Of course with all of this talk about coins and money you would think I had turned in to a Numismatist.  But of course the paradox of that hobby is that you have to have money to collect money!  Again, another topic I will turn to later.

Despite the fact that yesterday was a day we remembered a lot of people who are fighting cancer, we also received some really incredible news!  The National Association of Secondary School Principals has named Sarah New York's top Middle School youth volunteer of the year in the Prudential Spirit of Community Awards!!!! She gets $1000, a medal, and a trip (with one of us) to DC for the national awards ceremony April 30-May 3. Only one middle school student and one high school student is chosen from each state.  29,000 young volunteers participated in this years program and she's one of 102 that were chosen for this honor.

Needless to say, THIS IS HUGE!  She was nominated by Mr. Hoss, her middle school principal, and we received the news yesterday.  Its all due to the work she has been doing with Lemon Aid as she tries to raise money to replant the trees that have been cut down in our home town of Northport due to either disease or "other considerations".  We are incredibly proud of her as this is validation of all that she has been doing to put into action her conviction that everyone, no matter how old, needs to contribute to helping save and restore the environment.

And then there is the other side of today's coin toss;



I think if finally became evident today that the Connor's Army Cross Country Ride is not going to happen - at least not this year.  This has been a very hard and very emotional decision/realization for me and to tell you the truth I'm still trying to see the glass as half full but I really don't know any more how I can.  I'm trying to look at this as a learning moment but my spirit is so crushed right now that it is difficult.  I really believed that somehow we would get the funding, that somehow people's compassion would come through and help us make this difference in the world.  I've prayed, sent out positive energy, tried to do things that would cause positive Karma and I even tried to look at the fact that maybe the reason I wasn't killed in my bicycle accident this summer was becuase I was meant to do this.

For months I have been writing about how I really feel the need to do this - to give back to the world in the best way that I can.  We know that once we announce the ride to the media, people will donate to Sunrise Day Camp and we would be able to raise the $50,000 that could make such a difference in the lives of eight children.  But we don't know if we would be able to get all of that money between now and the end of August.  We just don't know anymore.

Amy and I finally had to realize that although the sponsorship money is coming in, we're still $6,000 of what we need to have commited to us to know this is possible to do.  The people at Sunrise and I both agreed that there was no reason to put a link up on their website where people could make the donations to Sunrise until we knew for certain the ride was going to have the sponsor funding we needed.  With a projected starting date to begin riding of late June, even if we had the cash in hand right now we're not sure we could get the word out enough so that people would go online and make the pledges to make our goal possible.  Since we can only do this once in a lifetime, we don't want to do it and end up only raising five or ten thousand dollars.  If we're going to do it, we have to do it right and really reach (or at least get darn close) to our goal.

I am literally in tears right now as I write this because of the frustration and the sadness I feel about making this decision.  Much of it is my own damn fault for not getting myself into gear at the beginning of last summer to get sponsorships in place.  But I wasn't sure.  I needed to know that the place for which I was going to raise the money was the right place.  After spending the summer there, I know in my heart that Sunrise is truly the right place and I WILL RAISE THE MONEY!  This money would make such a difference in the camper's lives and I know from having worked with them that they appreciate what they get from Sunrise each summer.

So we are going to continue soliciting sponsors and asking people to join our facebook page and to keep pushing to make this happen - its just going to have to happen in the summer of 2012 instead.

If I didn't have a family and I was younger with no responsibilities I would have no qualms with just taking a plane out to California and starting to pedal east biking for eight hours a day and sleeping in a corn field somewhere.  But I have people that depend on me now and I just can't take those risks anymore.  Don't get me wrong, the plan has never been to travel in luxury - far from it.  I'm hoping to save as much of the sponsorship money as we can so that anything that is not used will then be added to the $50,000 we'll raise in pledges.

But if we're going to do it we have to do it right - we owe it to the kids of Sunrise because they deserve nothing less.

I will keep riding to get my body ready.  I will keep blogging to tell you how things are going (besides, we have another cycling event to benefit Sunrise coming up in June), and we'll keep soliciting sponsors so that as soon as we know we have the monies in place we will start contacting the media, doing e-mail blasts, posting on facebook and reaching out in any way we can to make this happen!   You can follow all of this on the Connor's Army Facebook page or by becoming a follower to this blog (all you have to do is go to the right and follow the directions to become a follower).

If there are any of you out there who have ANY connections whatsoever to any businesses or corporations who might be willing to make a charitable donation or engage in a corporate partnership - PLEASE give us their information and contact us on Facebook.  We only have $6,000 to raise so with enough leads perhaps we can reach our goal soon!

So here is the bottom line (AND YOU CAN'T PUT THIS IN THE BANK!)  Connor's Army WILL be crossing America in the summer of 2012 and we WILL raise $50,000 for the kids of Sunrise!

Meanwhile, stay well my friends and I will see you on the road!

Ride Me to the Moon - And A Happy 100 To Us!

So tonight I left school at 4:40 PM and by the time I got 1/4 of the way home it was almost pitch black and I found myself riding to the moon.  Okay, so it wasn't quite like the picture above and I wasn't trying to smuggle a small alien in the basket of my bicycle (extra terrestrial or illegal).  And to be honest, I only went airborne once or twice as I was bumping over potholes in the near pitch blackness (I really need to get a better headlight if I'm going to commute at night).  But as I looked up while heading due East on the way home the vision I saw was more like this;

Now, a little known fact about me and my musical tastes.  At one time in my life I was very into Dinah Washington and I had more than a few of her albums on tape (yes, this was before CD's were popular, back when the walkman was the coolest thing to have) and this was one of the songs I used to listen to a lot:

So this song was playing through my head as I saw myself on a dark ribbon of road punctuated periodically by the headlights of the cars behind and the orange moon stretching just above it.  It was as if I could pedal right to the moon if I kept going!

Now I have to mention here that my association with the moon today started at 2:15 in the morning as Amy and I woke up to watch the first total eclipse of the moon on a Winter Solstice since 1638 and we thought we'd wake up the kids to have them witness it as well - c'mon how often do you get the chance to see that.  I think they've calculated that the next time this will happen is 2094!

So we woke the kids up and this is what we saw:

And it made me so happy that I could share this with my kids, even if I knew we were all going to be loopy and sleep deprived the rest of the day.

But now as I rode home riding to the moon I was grateful to be alive, grateful to be able to just see the moon stretch before me, feel the cold air (it was 21 degrees) and the road under my tires.  And I'm reminded of why I escaped relatively unscathed from my accident.

But there others who can't ride to the moon.  People whose immune systems are compromised and becuase of that they can't be riding outside in the freezing weather, they can't take the chance that they're going to fall in the dark and suffer a severe case of road rash.  People like my friend Dana who needs experimental treatment in order to survive the latest attack from cancer.  The children from Sunrise Day Camp, some of whom I came to find out this past summer, have never ridden a bike themselves because they've never been well enough to learn.  For them time is not always on their side - which is another reason why I want to ride for them this summer.  I can put myself out there and hopefully give them a chance to enjoy a summer playing and running as much as they can.  Now that Allan Rosenburg at Coinland.com has offered to sponsor us again we are $1000 closer to this goal - now we only have $7000 more to go to reach our goal and make this cross country trip a reality to help these kids!

And now for the second part of the title.  WITH THIS POST, CONNOR'S ARMY HAS NOW POSTED 100 TIMES SINCE 2006!!!!!  WOOHOOO!!!!

I think this deserves a bit of a celebration;



Yes, we rock!  And its all thanks to all of you!  Keep spreading the word!  And speaking of rockin' I will leave you with this last little sound bite from Pink Floyd in honor of our lunar eclipse!  Enjoy:

	Pink Floyd - Dark Side of the Moon .mp3
	Found at bee mp3 search engine

Stay well everyone and I'll see you on the road!

Keep Your Fingers Crossed!!!!

Okay, so I'm back on my bike again (as if I could stay off for long!) and I wanted to give you some updates/musings.

First of all, the title of this blog is all about sending out positive thoughts, vibes, prayers, good luck charms, etc that my video will make the semi finals of the "Win Any Bike Contest" sponsored by Bicycling Magazine.

On my last post I mentioned how I had assembled my crack team of future film directors to create a fun, hip video for the contest. Well, here is what they created; http://video.bicycling.com/video/Ride-for-the-Sunrise. I was going to just embed the entire video but unfortunately that's not allowed per the contest rules. So instead, I would encourage everyone you know to go on and rate it highly - perhaps that will encourage the judges to put me into the semifinals. MAKE COMMENTS! GIVE ME A HIGH RATING! (okay, enough of the subliminals).

I'm really not doing this for capitalistic reasons - my wife will tell you I really don't have space for another bike. However, with all that has happened to my family as it has fought its many battles against cancer I really need to do this ride to not only help those still fighting the disease but to show my gratitude that my immediate family is still healthy. My current bikes just aren't up to the challenge but I can't afford to buy one that will be right for the job so I'm hoping against hope that I can break into the semifinals and win one!

So, enjoy the video. After the final results I'll be embedding it on my blogsite for all of you to see but for now just click on the above line and post your comments!

Stay well, and I'll see you out there!

Back in the Pack

So yesterday I "spoke" to you all about my venturing forth with the AA group of the Huntington Bicycle Club for the first time in a year. I truly expected to get totally spanked, chewed up and spit out the back of the pack to limp my lonely way homeward. At least I would know the area so I wouldn't be totally lost. I mean from all the e-mails that have been going on within the group about not stopping for dropped riders and a AA designation assumes a certain amount of fitness I figured I would be doing well to hold on for the first 15 miles. It really wouldn't be a matter of IF I would be dropped, it was a matter of WHEN and/or HOW OFTEN.

I figured that since the ride was obstensibly going to Asharoken it might pass close enough to Northport that if I were dropped I could just limp home without having to go the Smith St. lot and face the humiliation of getting there 30 minutes after everyone else. Anyway, that was my state of mind. So I rode to the start instead of driving there so I could just head straight for home at any time.

The ride began with about sixteen riders some of whom I recognized (Paul, Don, Jesus, Adam and a few others whose faces I remember but not their names) but mostly people I didn't know. I checked out their bikes and felt myself feeling inadequate and envious at the same time. Of course, I looked over at Paul's bike and was reminded that here is a rider that doesn't have the most current carbon (or "crabon" as the Bike Snob calls it) ride or componentry and yet he's always in the front group. Of course, Paul is also about 20 pounds lighter than me. However, I did look over the apparent physical shape of the riders (I say "apparent" because it was cold and we were all bundled up which does hide a lot), I guess its an old dancer audition habit - you know, sizing up the competition, and I thought to myself, "there are a few guys who I think I can hang with so it might not be too bad after all".

Well, the ride began a little inaspiciously with the fact that one of the riders forgot his helmet and he got a ride with someone else to go pick up a spare. That delayed us for a little while but we finally were able to get rolling. We finally got on a pretty good straight away and we were cruising along in a nice pace line when someone flatted. That gave us some time to breathe but I think it frustrated some of the more hardcore riders becuase we took off again and the pace upped a bit. Surprisingly enough, I was able to hold on and I stayed smack in the middle of the pack. It did help that we were on familiar roads so I knew what to expect. Most of the rides we were on today I've been on at least once or twice so I knew where the hills were and I knew what it would take to power up the hills. That was lesson number 1 - knowing your route can help you in your strategy to stay with the pack! I didn't have to rely on keeping up if I knew when the next hill would come up.

I got a little behind on one of the climbs but managed to stay in the middle of the group. Out of sixteen riders I was pretty consistently staying in the ninth or tenth wheel so it I always knew there were at least six more guys behind me! As I wrote yesterday, it also helped that I had a lot of anger to get rid of - every hill was another opportunity to release some of the anger that has been building up since Thursday. And boy did I release.

Anyway, as I was releasing some of this anger going up Hammond (a really steep hill in King's Park) and finding myself in the front third of climbers (of course not up near Jesus and the crew but still respectable) I heard a loud "pop" and the guy who had been climbing just behind and to my left just stopped - his chain had snapped. We called ahead to some of the "hammers" and they (after much shouting on our parts) stopped. A few of us had chain tools with us and we were going to help him repair it but he had also broken a carbon spoke - he was out! So we made sure he had someone to call, regrouped and went on.

We continued on through King's Park and at one point I was on the wheel of Paul (my cycling mentor - whether he knows it or not) hanging in no man's land between the pack adn a break away group of six in the front. Suddenly this guy attacks from the pack to bridge up to the front group passing Paul and I. I was feeling strong so I latched onto his wheel and we bridged up to the front group. I just wanted to see if I could hang on - and I could!!!! It felt great in my current out of shapeness to be able to counter an attack like that. I knew I would suffer for it later but at the moment it felt great. We then continued through King's Park - up the long slope of 25A and again I felt strong.

This is where it went wrong. Three riders peeled off at Pulaski to head back and I was sorely tempted to join them but I thought I would try to hang on a little bit longer. It was too bad because these three were three that I thought I would have been able to hang with to Asharoken. Anyway, to make it short, I was too cocky and pushed too hard and after going through King's Park village I started to lose contact with the pack. I was in the back slowly getting blown off the back. I didn't panic though, as long as I could see them I knew I could eventually catch back up since I knew there were hills coming up where I could make up some time. Finally, after a longish straight descent I was able to catch back up to them - just in time for the rest stop - ah, the irony.

After a break we all hopped back on to head to Asharoken - here's where I figured I would lose it and have to limp home. We had a great pace line going at one point and I sat in the middle of the pack clocking 26+ mph for about a mile. Then we realized we had taken a wrong turn and how to regroup, turn around and do it all over again. This is where the bad luck hit again (it always comes in threes, right?) when Doug (one of those I had hoped I could hang with at the back and compete for the Lantern Rouge spot) broke his chain as well! At this point the hammers decided not to wait and just peeled off and headed towards Northport and what we assumed was a more "challenging" ride. The five of us that were left (Doug said he would fix the chain and join us later) headed out to Asharoken. We again formed a pace line across the Eaton's Neck causeway and really got cooking - it was great!!!!!!!

We turned around in Asharoken and headed back only to be found by Doug so he latched on and we started to try a TTT. Eveyone took their share of pulling at the front even though there was a considerable headwind hitting us. I even pulled for a good long time at 19mph! Yeah, its not much but in a headwind it was great.

I really thought I'd completely blow up on the hill out of Eaton's Neck but I didn't - I hung on and made it up as third wheel - right in the middle of the group which is where I'd been 95% of the time on this ride. At this point I told Adam (the ride leader) that I was going to peel off and head for home since once we got to the intersection I'd be three houses away from my front door. He suggested I join them in their final suffering of the ride - going up Scudder. So I said OK - what the heck, I could still limp home easily.

As we hit the base of Scudder I was in the front and I never lost it - I just followed all the advice of all the articles I'd been reading and just spun at a fast tempo the whole way. Granted, I wasn't going fast but I managed to be the first wheel at the top (although Adam got within half a wheel length at one point) - but I think Adam just gave me a gift and let me get up first.

As I peeled off Paul, Adam, Doug and the others left called out "See ya next week!" I truly wish that was so but I'm heading to South Jersey to FINALLY meet my niece Anika!

So, what did I learn? I learned that if I push myself I can still ride with the big boys. I might get dropped but that's how I learn how to ride. I learned that I can make no more excuses - I have to ride to work whenever I can and take the hills whenever I can. I learned that even out of shape and with a non-carbon bike I can still power up (almost) as fast as the others - get in shape (i.e., drop five to ten pounds) and get a few lighter components and I'm there!

But in particular, in the last few rides I learned that cycling can be extremely cathartic to me and compared to the suffering others are going through (especially those with cancer) what I do on the bike is nothing comparatively and I need to suck it up and keep pushing. It's the least I can do to try to support these kids at Sunrise and the others that are going through the pain and struggle of fighting cancer.