No Good Deed.........

There is a philosphophy that you can be one of two kinds of people and there is no in-between.  You can be either an optimist and join groups like Optimist International while listening to songs like "Optimistic" by Radiohead;



or you can be a pessimist and move to Greece while spending your time listening to Samuel Barber's Adagio for Strings, Op. 11 while drowning your sorrows in pints of Guinness Ben and Jerry's.



Now it is well documented that I am fairly mostly Irish in my lineage and some would say demeanor.  As it so happens, I have a magnet on my refrigerator that states, "An Irishman has an abiding sense of tragedy which sustains him through temporary periods of joy" and my wife would pretty much agree.  In the past I have had a great tendency to look at the negative and always think the worse outcome possible is going to happen.  For instance, during much of the Ride Across America I was convinced I would either be hit by a truck/car/RV or be viciously attacked by some rabid (or at least REALLY angry) stray dog.  It would often preoccupy my thoughts so much that I would be physically exhausted and stressed by the end of the day.

I'm glad to say that neither happened.  I actually did have to spray a few dogs (read my previous posts) but I didn't get bitten and all was well.  And I didn't really have any close car/truck/RV calls until twenty miles from the end - when I reached Manhassat!

But while I rode for sometimes 10 and 12 hours a day on the bike this summer I had the chance to do a lot of contemplating of many different things and one of them was my outlook on life. 

I saw a lot of people who were going through hard times.  Coal miners who were out of work and not likely to get any in the near future.  Women in their 50's who had been laid off from their jobs and were now working in convenience stores because that was the only job available.  Farmers who had to make the choice between watering their crops or watering their livestock.  The town of Joplin, MO which is still struggling to recover after the tornadoes of last year.  A young couple in Southern Virginia who are stuggling to work multiple jobs and pay the medical bills to help their 8-year-old battle neuroblastoma.

It made me realize that no matter how things get here in Northport, I can't complain.  I have a good job that I love to do.  I have an amazing wife that loves me and supports me (even in my mad quixotic pursuits).  I have children who are healthy, bright and loving.  And I have a beautiful home that we love.  I have a lot to be grateful for and a lot to be optimistic about.

And herein lies the problem.  My family and I spent the summer trying to do something to make the world a little better for other - the children and their families.  One of the major hurdles we had to cross was to find someone to watch our cat Lily (you can read about her in Amy's Blog entry).  We finally found someone we could trust and we left for our journey secure in the knowledge that our home and cat would be well taken care of.  However, only a few days into her house sitting for us the young lady was bitten by something while sleeping in our bed.  She and her parents were very nervous (I guess with all the horror stories of bed bugs it's understandable) and she said she couldn't sleep over any more but she would be willing to come by during the day and take care of Lily.  Since we really needed someone here at night we starting sending out the word to find someone to replace her.

My mother-in-law had an acquaintance approach her and said her son was recently let go from his job and was going through a divorce and although he was staying with her, he stays up late at night and he's not loud but it keeps her awake and was wondering if maybe he could stay at our place for the summer and look after Lilly.  Joan met with him and said he seemed quiet and nice.  I think she said he might have been a little odd but okay.  We were relieved!  Thanks to Joan and her Mahjong Mafia we were able to get a replacement house sitter from 3,000 miles away.

The fact that we could never get in touch with him (he didn't have a phone or a computer or a job) should have been our first clue.  The only way we seemed to be able to get in touch with him was through Joan.  Since we couldn't get in touch with him we didn't get our mail when we needed it, we didn't really know how Lilly or the house were doing.  Every now and then we'd get an e-mail saying Lilly was doing okay.

So finally with a little more than a week to go we asked Joan to check in on things.  That's when she told us the house was a wreck.  Well, maybe not a wreck but it was filthy.  To make a VERY long story short, the garbage hadn't been taken out in weeks.  Well, it made it to the side of the house but not to the curb.  His children apparently had been staying at the house (children we knew nothing about, if we had we would have said, "Fine, but here are the things we would like them not to touch) and ALL of the beds and bedrooms were a mess.  The rugs were filthy and the kitchen was extremely dirty.  Aaaaaaannnndddd, apparently he had run out of garbage bags for the kitchen trash can but didn't buy any so he was just dumping it in the trash can and then dumping it outside.  When Joan went to throw something away fruit flies went everywhere!

So we were now officially freaked out!  We spent the last week of our journey not sleeping and worrying about what condition our home would be in.  Our house sitter - let's call him Joe A. - had told us that he was going on a week's vacation (a vacation that kept getting put off because his car was in the shop and he didn't have the money to get it out yet) and would be back the Monday before we returned home.  After discussing it with Joan we decided that we would tell him we were having the place cleaned and that others would look after the place when he returned so he didn't have to stay until we got home on Friday. 

Yes, we were getting the placed cleaned - by my in-laws.  They are truly saintly people and if ever we have been more grateful to anyone I can't remember when it possibly could have been.  So Joe A. gathered his things and our friends Carla and Rita took care of Lilly until Joan and Mort could take over.  My in-laws cleaned everything.  My father-in-law fixed the broken fans that he could (there was one beyond repair), scrubbed the kitchen trash can, took all the garbage out to the curb and took all the recycling to his recycling center.

My sainted mother-in-law did something she rarely does at home - cleaned!  Of course I'm kidding (since I know Joan will read this!), but she took care of getting as much of our home back in order as she could, making beds, cleaning floors, scrubbing, etc.  On top of that she slept in our home so Lilly would have company.  All above and beyond the call of duty!!!!

We rode in and finished our journey, had dinner and then we tried tackling some of the mess before we went to bed.  We didn't really get far and we decided to put it off until Saturday. 

And that's when the FUN began.

We knew we had a mess to clean up but we started discovering things.  Ground up candy in the floor, candy between the floorboards, crunched up potato chips in the seat and couch cushions, spilled jello shots in the freezer (yes, that's right - using our children's medecine cups)!  "Okay," we thought, "maybe he had a party and forgot about them".  And then we started noticing the odd things.

8 bags of frozen corn.  I love corn as much as the next person but 8 bags?????

ALLLLLLL of our food was gone.  Okay, not ALL but ALMOST every scrap of food we had left in the refrigerator, the freezer, and the pantry was gone.

Our neighbor Kathleen told us about the rats.  Apparently a problem that we have never had in the nine years we have lived here has surfaced - rats in the yard.  Our neighbor loves her bird feeder and told us Saturday morning that she hadn't been able to feed them because rats showed up about two weeks ago.  Her landlord put a rat trap out back but she wasn't sure it was working.

And then Amy saw a rat!  While she was in the kitchen she saw a rat run into the drainage pipe built into our retaining wall.  It came out and then ran into another pipe further down the wall.  Now we are used to the chipmunks doing that but rats are another thing.  So I immediately went down into the basement to look for signs of rats down there.  If they were in the house that would be VERY bad!

And I found the plastic bag.

Since the cedar closet was right next to where all the piles of trash had been I started my search there.  Right in the middle of the floor was a plastic bag.  "What the hell is this?????"  So I looked inside and I found and empty gallon container from a cheap brand of vodka.  Hmmmmmmm.  So I went upstairs and I asked Amy, "Were you saving this for some sort of project for the kids?"  Since she replied in the negative we could only assume one thing - Joe had been hiding empty alchohol bottles in the basement.  Back down I went to see if I could find any more.  No such luck.

Now when we had gotten home on Friday we had noticed an empty wine bottle in the recycling.  Apparently it had been on the counter so Joan or Mort put it in the recycling after Mort had already taken everything away.  But now we began to be curious so we looked in the area of the pantry where we kept our alchoholic beverages.  As far as we could tell the wine was all there but there we noticed the tequila bottle (which had been about half full, left over from the chili party last December) had only about an eighth of an inch left.  And then we noticed that two pint bottles of gin which were extra bottles I had left over after giving show gifts for Thoroughly Modern Millie were still on the shelf but empty!  And as we perused more of the shelf space we made a chilling discovery and we had to ask ourselves;



And then by simple deduction we started to put it all together from all the behavior and we thought we had the answer, perhaps Joe A. drinks a little - at least all of OUR stuff.  Its not that we are big consumers of hard alchohol but when we see five bottles of it gone plus an empty bottle in the basement and all the leftover jello shots (yes, we finally tasted a bit of one and it was VERY potent) we began to think that maybe he drinks A LOT.  It is sort of the only answer we can think of for all of the behaviorisms that were being reported to us.

And we cursed the spider that bit Claire!

So this week has been one of trying to clean up the mess that Joe has left us.  I spent all of Saturday cleaning the refrigerator (which was disgusting but made easier by the fact that it and the freezer were EMPTY) and the microwave (in which something was cooked and apparently exploded in a Mythbusters type experiment).  Amy, the kids and I spent the next two days cleaning floors (Sarah even got down on her hands and knees with a straightened out paper clip to clean non pariels out of the floor boards).  I spent an entire day on the bathrooms while Amy scoured the pantry and repapered (which once again was easy since there was no food).  I went to Home Depot and got plugs to block up the entrances of all the weep holes (the drains in our retaining wall).  Sadly, it would mean that the boys' sleepover would have to be indoors instead of in a tent as they so badly wanted.

We also had estimates from three exterminators who confirmed our suspicions that the rats were MOST likely drawn to our yard by the accumulation of garbage - a veritable smorgasborg right next to our house. We found out it would be about $750 to get rid of them by using bait traps for a year.  At least they confirmed my observation that there were no rats in the basement or the shed.

And we started tallying up the costs of our house sitter from hell.  Between food eaten, alchohol consumed, fans broken, trash cans needing to be replaced, light pulls needing to be replaced, various other broken items and the cost of the exterminating - a bit over $1500! 

And we began thinking, NO GOOD DEED GOES UNPUNISHED, AND we cursed the spider that bit Claire!

But we had to count our blessings.  We were home and it was still standing and after some diligent extermination our rat issue will be gone!  Our fridge and freezer are cleaner than they have been in years and we've been able to do the spring cleaning that we forgot to do (in the spring).  Our family is healthy, we made it back in one piece, the van is still running and our cat is thriving and happy to see us.  Life is good.

One of the wonderful things about the summer was watching the summer Olympics on television (when we weren't watching Chopped, Cupcake Wars, or Food Star) and the closing ceremony allowed me to introduce my children to one of my favorite songs from a Monty Python movie.  However, instead of the version we all saw at the Olympic closing, I choose to share with you dear readers the original and remind us all to look at the glass half full and "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life";



And so we clean, I get to do some more riding this week and we get to spend a little more time bonding as a family before school begins again - and that is the glass being half full!

Stay well and I'll see you on the road!

National Bike Month - Now With Root Cyclone™ Technology!

So on their offical website this is what Dyson has to say to explain why a Dyson vacuum cleaner is different than all of the others;

Instead of relying on bags and filters to trap the dust, a Dyson vacuum uses patented cyclone technology to spin the dirt out of the air. That's one of the reasons why it doesn't lose suction, picks up more dirt from your home and expels cleaner air.

In other words, becuase of their patented technology, a Dyson (of which the Connor Clan are proud owners) picks up more dirt, ergo it sucks MORE!

Maybe its all about the pneumatic actuator.

So in the spirit of the self-metacognative , (or self actuator) in examining myself and "knowing about myself" I have come to the following conclusion;

(In patented old-school neon technology)

Now, I may not yet have the patented Root Cyclone™ Technology but if I continue on my current downward spiral (not to be confused with downward facing dog, a yoga pose that is very painful to many);

(It's not easy being flexible)

I may find myself in the realm of said technology sucking ever so much more than I do right now.


What, I say what, may you ask has prompted this stream of self-deprecation?  Well, as I wrote last week, this month is officially "Ride Your Bike to Work Month";


(See, I'm not making this up!)

and although I started out somewhat auspiciously (in the pouring rain), I've only been able to commute eight out of the 14 work days since the month started.  I haven't even been able to put in weekend "pleasure" rides!  I feel myself deteriorating and my muscles are atrophying to the point that I will look like this guy in no time at all;

(I think he later went on to a lucrative career as a Grateful Dead model)

Well, maybe with a bike helmet on instead of the top hat - they tend to fly off during fast descents.

In a nutshell, I SUCKKKKKKK!!!!!!!  As of this writing (literary terminology for right this very second) I have 37 days before the Grand Depart which is the fancy French term for "the big leaving" - not to be confused with The Big Lebowski;



becasue as everyone who has read this blog knows, our big leaving is from San Diego whereas the big Lebowski is from Malibu.  Close but not quite.

But the month is yet young and as I said in my last post, it is the LUSTY month of May which means there is so much to experience yet in this wonderful month - my favorite month of the year.  Why you may ask? 

Well, you see there is this anniversary that happens every May 20th that I like to celebrate - the day when the most wonderful woman in the world decided to take a chance on me and become my wife.  Over the last eighteen years I am constantly amazed that she still loves me and without her not only would my life be incomplete, it would be nowhere near as full of amazing memories as it has been.  Left to my own devices I would probably become a hermit of some sort - she draws me out and brings out the best in me always.

And the other big thing that happens this month (aside from our annual Shakespeare production which I always look forward to) is my birthday!  I'm creeping up on that half-centruy mark and I have begun to appreciate these days in a way that I never did when I was younger.  As a matter of fact I look forward to the  morbid obsession of others about their age.  It was after a conversation about getting older that I came across this littel ditty by the group Voltaire;



Apparently its populated by 100 "Gothic Lolitas" which I think is just another version of Steampunk.  But I could be wrong.

But, there is only one cure that will keep me from sucking and from feeling as old as the poor guy in the chair and that is getting out and riding and TRAINING for the big cross country.  And don't forget, if you want to take pity on this almost quinquagenarian and help me in my Quixotic quest to help the children of Sunrise, all you have to do is go here and make a small donation.  Do it honor of my anniversary, do it in honor of my birthday, or just do it because you don't think I suck!

So to celebrate the merry month of may I'm going for a ride!  I hope to see you on the road - even if its not on your way to work!

Start the Change!

Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi (more commonly known as Mahatma Gandhi) once wrote, "You must be the change you want to see in the world."  Here at Syosset High School we have an event that has been going on for about five years now called Junior Day.  I probably can't do it justice here in one blog entry, you really have to experience it for yourself.  It is truly an emotional day and part of what makes it so special is that the entire them of the day is to "Be the Change", to create change in our community in the way we treat each other by starting the change in our own behaviors. 

The day starts with each adult advisor being given a family of six or seven students, most of whom we are not familiar with and one of the first things we do after ice breaker activities is to complete the following statement, "If you really knew me ......" with the idea of sharing with those in the group what is behind the mask that we put on every day.  While I am not at liberty to share what my kids shared I can speak about my own story.

What I shared with everyone is the fact that I go throughout my day feeling incredibly lonely.  I guess that's why I'm so sensitive to what went on with my daughter Sarah in her 5th and first part of 6th grade year.  She felt as if she had no friends, she was never invited to birthday parties and she had a miserable experience feeling as if she was alone.  What made me so sensitive to that fact was that I feel the same way and have for many years. 

Now, much of this is my own fault because I get so focused on what I'm doing at work that I get blinders on and I don't take the time I should to socialize with my colleagues.  I'm friendly with many of my fellow teachers in the building but aside from Peter Haughwout, Damon Tomolino and one or two others, there aren't that many I could just go and have a beer with.  I've gone riding with Dave Steinberg and have done field trips with others but aside from Pete there aren't any whose houses I've gone to or who have been to my house.  The truth is I don't really have any friends, only acquaintances and that realization just makes me lonelier and lonelier.  I have almost 1300 facebook friends (many of them former students, people I went to high school in Germany with, people I've known from the various summer camps where I've worked, people I've directed in Long Island productions) and over 1200 likes on my facebook page but no close friends.  Now don't get me wrong, I'm not about to turn this into a pity party for one so you can keep reading;

(Should I RSVP for my own party?)

I didn't start to talk about being lonely but that's what ended up happening.  In talking to the kids I realized that my feelings of loneliness are because of a pattern I created in myself, a pattern that I was born into.  For those of you who have read my blog before, you know that I've spoken in the past about being an "Army Brat" and that for my entire life my father was a career soldier.  As a matter of fact, there is even a poem entitled "I Am a Military Brat" that was written in 1975 by Deborah W. Giusti;

I am an Army Brat. My hometown is nowhere, my friends are everywhere, and if I haven't been someplace yesterday, I am sure to go there tomorrow. I grew up with bugle calls and artillery salutes and the knowledge that home is where the heart is and the family--with no dependence on the dwelling.


Mobility is my way of life. I have found security and happiness in motels and guest houses, in duplexes and apartments around the world. Some would wonder about my roots, yet they are as deep and strong as the mighty oak's. I sink them quickly, absorbing all an area offers and hopefully giving enrichment in return.


Like all Army dependents, I can say "Hello," "Good-bye," and count to 20 in five languages. I can tell of the shores of Maine, the marketplaces of Mexico, the Buddhas of Japan; and my knickknack shelves look like those of an import shop, for my memories span the globe.

Travel has taught me to be open. By age nine I had seen more of the world than most people do in a lifetime; I had touched many and allowed their cultures to touch me. Shaking hands with the universe, I found a brotherhood in all men.

Just as there is joy in meeting, so is there pain in parting; and although practice makes perfect, there is no way to perfect "Good-bye." Farewells are never easy. Yet, even in sorrow comes strength and an ability to face tomorrow with anticipation. And if when I leave one place I feel that half my world has been left behind, I also know that the other half is still waiting to be met.

As an Army Brat, I go out to others extending hand and heart. Friendships are formed in hours and kept for decades. I will never grow up with someone, but I will mature with many, and the help that I offer today will be returned farther down the road. Be it inevitable that paths part, there is constant hope that they will meet again.

I feel fortunate to live in a society of tradition drawing from the past to enhance the present - where silver baby cups announce life, horse-drawn caissons pronounce death and the living in between is dedicated to the service of God, man and our nation.

Love of country, respect and pride fill my being when Old Glory passes in review. As I stand to honor that flag, so also do I stand to honor all soldiers, most especially to the man whose life created mine -- my father. Because of him I have shared in the rich heritage of Army life.


Now, as Army wife and mother, I have passed on that legacy to my children. I wish for them a wealth of experiences and knowledge and love, so that their lives will be blessed as mine, and I pray that one day they will join me in boasting, "I am an Army Brat!"

Though it was written in 1975 many of the sentiments still echo the reality of military brats today.  However, unlike some other Army Brats my friendships didn't last for decades and I now find myself without the friends of my childhood.  So part of my story to these high school juniors was to hold onto those friendships that they have now with those that know them so well and that have grown up with them over the years.  Hold fast to the memories and the connections or you could end up like me - plenty of acquaintances, but no real friends.  I am just fortunate that my patient wife is also my best friend, yet it would be nice to have others to rely on in times of stress and hardship.

And yet, I have begun the process of "Starting the change" this year.  Amy and I have reconnected with our Texas friends Pat, Stephen, Marci, Laurelle and James.  It is my most sincere hope that we can keep this reconnection going and not let it fizzle out like far too many of my friendships have done.

After lunch we came back and spoke together a bit but then we participated in an activity called "crossing the line" in which a series of statement were read and if they applied to us we were to leave the group of 200+ gathered there and cross a line then turn around and face those left standing.  This is always a very revealing moment as we are all asked to honestly respond and bare our faults and insecurities.  The idea is not to make us targets but to show that we all share some of the same secrets and fears but we pass each other every day not knowing that someone else shares our feelings, hopes, fears and insecurites.  Comments like, "I don't like what I see in the mirror", "I don't feel as though I am a good person", "I have tried or have thought about hurting myself", "I have been hurt by someone close to me", "I have had an eating disorder" and so many others.  Most of which I found myself crossing the line for.   And in my head I'm thinking, "with all of this wrong with me, that's why I don't have any friends".

Again, this is not a pity party but I have bared my soul enough on this blog that I hope you, my reader will understand.  At the end of the day we were to write letters to people and say things to them that we felt needed to be said.  I wrote two, one to a colleague and one to my best friend - Amy.  These could be letters we delivered or didn't deliver - the important thing is that the feelings were to be expressed, even if not shared.  I did receive two letters from some of my ACT kids speaking of how much I mean to them and how much they look up to me which made me cry but of course I don't feel deserving of their accolades.

But the point of all of this is that I have to start the change within myself and keep on trying to keep up with the change, not forget to be an active part of this.  So, Pat, Stephen, Marci, Laurelle, James, Pete and others - you're on warning because you're my friends and I'm not letting you go!

BUT WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH CYCLING??????  What does this have to do with Connor's Army?

Well, just as some of the most famous people in our history have been inspired by the bicycle (look back at the top for Mahatma Gandhi enjoying a spin), for instance Albert Einstein;

Ernest Hemmingway;

The Beatles;

and The Muppets;

I too have been inspired while riding my bike to school and back in the rain yesterday.  You see, while riding back at about 4ish in the afternoon I found it was already dark due to a little thing we like to curse call pain in my ass daylight savings time.  What started as a gentle drizzle soon became a constant, driving and very cold rain.  That coupled with the lack of visibility made me a bit nervous but I had to red lights blinking away on the back and a white one blinking away on the front and I was wearing a reflective rain jacket - I figured I was pretty safe.  And I was until the idiot on Pulaski decided to buzz me and pass me only a foot away - his side mirror nearly clocked me!

It was while enjoying the adrenaline rush of that particular moment that I had one of those "Eureka" moments (and for the record, I'm not talking about the town on the Northwest coast of California or an alloy of copper and nickel with a high electrical resistance) in which I realized that I have already started the change that needs to happen within me for the cross country ride.  The last four or five times that it has been predicted to rain I've been riding to start getting myself used to riding in any adverse condition.  When I'm halfway across Kansas I can't just decide not to ride becuase of weather - I have to change the way I think about what is "good" riding weather.  So what if it looks like this;

or even this;

I need to just suck it up and do it - because there will be eight kids fighting cancer who don't understand how I could just give up and not pedal because of rain or wind.  And going forward I can't let weather deter me - I have to start the change!

And I'm going to make more of a concerted effort to stay in contact with my friends and to try to make friends out of acquaintances at school.  It won't be easy but I hope that I can by starting to take more time to talk to them and get out of my office and be with people rather than holed up in my Theatrical Lair (its kind of like a Bat Cave but without the flying rodents, high tech gadgetry, a butler, or cool caped costumes).  Again, I have to start the change!

And lastly, now that so many people are liking the Connor's Army Facebook Page I have to start being more aggressive (read that to be more shameless) about approaching sponsors.  I have to follow up on leads and offers of help so that we can attract and secure the kind of sponsorships we need and the kind of fundraising we need to get this $50,000 raised.  So if you get multiple messages from me about donating, please don't think I'm being a pain in the ass pest, just know that I have to start channeling all this positive energy for Connor's Army into really making a change in the lives of eight young people - I have to start the change!

BUT I NEED YOUR HELP DEAR READER to make this happen!  Please, if you are reading this and you know people who might be interested in helping us, spread the word!  Help us start a change in a young person's life that could have positive consequences the likes of which we'll never know but that will have such an impact on that young person's future!  Join with me and together we can start the change!  Invite your friends, family, other facebook groups.  Ask your boss if your company can sponsor us.  Repost the link to the Sunrise Donations Page where people can give to help these kids.  Let's together change the world, eight people at a time!

And now, becuase I haven't given you a song in a while something that as a group we shouldn't do but its a great song nonetheless and I like John Mayer's cover of it - "Waiting for the World to Change";

	John Mayer - Waiting For The World To Change .mp3
	Found at bee mp3 search engine

Stay well and I'll see you on the road in rain, sleet, snow, and maybe the dead of night!

Far Too Long - The Long and Winding Road

So all I can say is I'm sorry!  Looking at my blog I see that June 8th was the last time I wrote anything.  Tha'ts not to say that so much hasn't been swirling in my head, its just finding the time to sit down and put it down on paper, er, cyberspace.  I think part of my issue is that I feel like EVERYTHING I write has to be meaningful when in reality the purpose of this blog is not to provide enlightenment but rather information.  This blog was really conceived as a way to keep those of you who support Connor's Army updated on how things are going with our various fundraising efforts in fighting cancer.  Somewhere along the journey I got it into my head that if I wasn't scintillating or incredibly entertaining people would read my blog.  I think in the last few days I've realized that although we only have 52 OFFICIAL followers (and you incredibly special people know who you are), chances are there are many more people who do follow our blog (or at least did) and just didn't sign up.  Maybe some of you check periodically but have seen that nothing much has been going on.
Well, that is all going to change today.  First of all, A LOT has been going on in the last six weeks.  Too much to put all into one large blog entry so I'll break it up in installments as the days/weeks go on.  If you are new to our reading this blog, you can catch up on where we are by reading some of the older postings.  There are a lot (though not as many for 2011 as I really should have) and they can really tell you a lot about who we are and where we've come from.

Secondly, you can now sign up to be notified by e-mail whenever a new entry goes up so you don't have to keep wasting your time checking back to see if there is a new update - but of course, if that has been your personal cure for insomnia, I don't want to deprive you of that simply joy.  Speaking of which, here is a nice recording of it for those of you who missed it when I posted it before;

	Beautiful Small Machines - Simple Joys - MASTERED .mp3
	Found at bee mp3 search engine

A little electronica remix by the group Beautiful Small Machines - check them out if you've never heard of them at their website.  They describe themselves thusly on their myspace.com profile;

Beautiful Small Machines may be synthetic, but they’re not stupid. Caught somewhere between the 70’s, 80’s and deep space, this electro-pop duo (Bree Sharp, Don DiLego) learned about comedy from adult swim and heartache from Philip K. Dick and they’re spewing it all back out at you like a bunch of mandroids on whiskey and psycho-pharmaceuticals. Fun, Sad, Creepy and Clever – Beautiful Small Machines is the retro-future.

But I digress - which, if you've followed my blog is not that uncommon - my friend Danielle and I (actually she's a former student whose become a family friend now) usually go into these long rambling stream-of-consciousness correspondences so I think I've discovered that my brain just works that way - I make connections and my mind follows.  It might be a Gemini thing, I'm not sure.

Anyway, back to the point.  An incredible amount of exciting things have happened in the Connor household since my last blog entry.  The first is that (as it is for most everyone) it is summer vacation!!!!!!!  Now I love my job and I think I'm one of the luckiest people in the world to be able to do what I do with students who are so passionate about creating art and to be able to raise a family doing it.  But I do enjoy the (only slightly) more laid back pace of summer.  I don't have to worry about attendance or schedules or grades - I can just enjoy the days.

Now, my enjoying the days is different than someone elses.  Of course, given my own devices I would be either riding my bike all day or reading (right now I'm rereading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows in preparation to see the last movie and in case you - like me - are wondering why Tobuscus hasn't done a parody of the trailer yet, here is a fairly good substitute).  Or watching movies like this one;




But I am fortunate in that I do have a great job for the summer as well - one that rejuvenates me and reminds me what life is all about - working at Sunrise Day Camp!  To see the difference this camp makes in the lives of these campers is truly a humbling experience.  This year is a little different in that I'm only teaching drama instead of dance and drama but in doing so, I work with EVERY single camper in the entire camp from ages 3 1/2 (the Acorns) to 16 (the CIT group) and to see these kids have fun with drama and see them create and play really reminds me of why I do what I do during the year!  It makes next summer even more important.

And the second reason for the title of this blog now becomes clear - it is going to be far too long before we get on the road!  It will be a long and winding road to get to where we need to go and I appreciate all of you that have supported us.

For those of you new to reading this blog, we have had a few "missions" over the years since Connor's Army was created.  We've raised $13,000 for The American Cancer Society, we've held a few Victory Rides (the most recent one to benefit Sunrise Day Camp) and we've even enlisted Sarah to help in our efforts.

Our latest mission is our most important one yet - we are going to raise $50,000 for Sunrise!  It won't be easy and we still have a lot of underwriting sponsorship we need to procure to make it completely happen but we're well on our way.  We have some supportive sponsors already, we have 780 followers on our facebook page (yes, you can click on the blue to add us to your likes or just click on the button in the upper right of the page), and today we just had our first article in a national bicycling magazine - Bicycle Times.  They are now one of our sponsors and we're hoping to reach even more sponsors now.

Why "far too long"?  Because as of right now we are not scheduled to leave San Diego until June 23rd, 2012.  Its a long way off and there is lots of work to be done but part of me can't wait to get started with the riding.  This past year we lost three of our Sunrise campers to this damnable disease.  I've lost another couple of friends to the disease and one of my colleagues, Jeff Rozran, is now fighting his own battle with lung cancer.  This journey cannot begin soon enough for with every pedal stroke I'll be fighting this disease for my family, my friends, my colleagues and my campers.

We have a little less than a year now and we still need sponsors.  We keep hoping that a few more "angels" will step forward and offer to help us.  Its become very frustrating becasue we keep reaching out to various businesses but we never receive an answer.  Not even a "no" just silence.  And although the sound of silence can sometimes be a wonderful thing and can help you reach that state of inner peace;



(Everybody say Ommmm)

or maybe yours looks more like this;

(Everybody say Kung Fu Panda)

However, the sound of silence has not brought any inner peace to us.  It has really perplexed us and left us wondering what we have to do to find the truth of the matter is that we need help to be able to make this happen.  If any of you reading this have any ideas, let us know as we are willing to try any angle to help us raise the funds we need to make this happen.  We know that now we are starting to make the PR connections the donations to the camp can start to flow into the camp.  Our hope is that people will see what we are trying to do and will open their hearts and their purses to these children.  I mean, if we could raise $12,000 with me just commuting 2,000 miles in an entire year, we should be able to generate $50,000 for me doing the same thing in just 70 days.  But we need to find an angel (or two).

	Thrice - Send Me An Angel .mp3
	Found at bee mp3 search engine

And that is part of why this is far too long.  The mileage doesn't bother me - I know we can do it.  I just want us to get started, to get started in fight and to get these campers the funds that will make an incredible summer possible for them.

And now one last song to get us all in the mood.  Every day as they cross the camp, a group of campers called the Timon Boys sing their own version of a classic Queen song, "We Will Rock You".  Instead of "We will" they sing "Timon Boys" will rock you!  So bear that in mind as you listen to an oldie but goodie;

	Queen - We Will Rock You .mp3
	Found at bee mp3 search engine

Stay well and I'll see you on the road (and in this blog MUCH more often)!

What Keeps Me Rolling - Or At Least Upright (most of the time)

So for those of you who know me, you know that  I converted to Catholicism in college.   Some of my big influences during the time of my coversion were one of my fellow RA's (whose name I can't remember but who who I used to tag along with every Sunday), John (the owner of Mustang Donuts where I worked part time)

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and my friend and fellow SMU dancer Michael Shef who faithfully attended with me as I was trying to figure out what all these words were about.  He was really a great example and one of the first New York Catholics I'd ever met - thanks for the guidance Mike!  These three were really the ones who encouraged me in my quest to become Catholic and this trio, along with Father Michael Duca of the SMU Catholic Campus Ministry, were intstrumental in my journey as a catechumen.

While at SMU at learned all about the Jesuit form of Catholicism and that philosphy, coupled with the all accepting college mentality, formed my ideas of my religion.  When I moved to New York City I was lucky to find a similar atmosphere when I joined the congregation of St. Malachy's otherwise known as "The Actor's Chapel".  Again, a community of people who believed in a liberal form of catholicism that encouraged love and acceptance.

However, when we moved out to Long Island we found that the Rockville Center Diocese was a little less than liberal and each of the various congregations I was able to find out here never has felt like home.  Although Father Kelly (the priest who baptised our daughter Sarah at St. Malachy's) also serves the community of Rocky Point, its a bit of a haul.  And its really sad because I have a Catholic church that is literally a baseball's throw (and for any of you that remember me from my Ansbach High School days, you'll remember that I had a pretty good arm as a center fielder so I can throw - I just couldn't hit worth beans, it was long before I realized I needed glasses, not that it would have likely made a difference, but I'm getting off task again aren't I?) from my front yard.  Yes, we go as a family on Christmas Eve and Easter but on a persoanl level I like to go to feel a connection with something bigger than myself but I never feel like the church is "Home".

So I have come to the conclusion that I am Spiritual but I'm not Religious.  I believe in ALMOST all of the precepts of Catholicism but I can't bring myself to doom people to an afterlife of purgatory becuase they love someone the church tells them they shouldn't.  Nor can I bring myself to condemn women for decisions they make with their own bodies or damn people that take precautions (whether married or unmarried) to ensure that women don't have to make those decisions in the first place.  If I blindly followed all the precepts of the church I wouldn't have my three incredibly bright, beautiful and intelligent children who were conceived with the aid of science - a science the church officially does not condone.

I'm reminded of the advice given to me by John who was one of my sponsors as I went through the catechumen process.  John had been educated at The University of Notre Dame and was one of the most religious adult catholics I knew (aside from my parents).  He and his wife Mary would almost never work on Sunday mornings unless they had gone to mass the night before.  Anyway, I voiced my concerns to John about a month before I was to be baptised and he shared with me advice that a Priest at Notre Dame had given him when he voiced similar concerns, "The Pope is the leader of the church but he is still human and he has to guide millions of people from hundreds of cultures and thousands of backgrounds.  All he can do is to give general guidance for the whole church.  The most important thing to do is to listen to that small quiet voice inside of you that will guide you to what is right and what is wrong.  If you listen to it and access it through your beliefs then everything will work out, its only when you no longer hear that small quiet voice that you need to worry."  It took me years to understand that accessing that small quiet voice is what we call prayer, honest true prayer not the bargaining with God prayer that is really just designed to get our butt out of a sling.  I try to do that on a daily basis, using prayer to ask for guidance, strength, wisdom, patience and occasionally to help me deal with the rest of the human race.

Yet sometimes that's not enough.  As my incredibly patient wife Amy (and now my children whom she encourages to poke fun at me) can attest, I have a variety of superstitions.  Many of them don't always work - my biggest being not washing my Dallas Cowboys jersey after they win a game until they lose one, needless to say my jersey has been incredibly clean this year - I may take to wearing all black instead every Sunday for all the good my jersey has done this year.

Of all my rituals perhaps some of my cycling rituals are the most laughable - at least from her standpoint.  I always put on my Lance Armstrong II cycling shoes on the same exact way - the right foot first becuase that's the one with the Texas flag.  I like my water bottles to match.  They don't have to be great ones, I just like them to match or I'll only use one.  And I have to wear my Madonna del Ghisallo medal.  One of the things that my spirituality gives me (you knew that whole preamble about religion had to somehow relate to cycling) is the belief that we can commune with the saints.  Many of the world religions believe in benevolent spirits of our ancestors that hear us and help us in times of need and many of them believe in the power of intercession with these spirits.  A large part of my spirituality truly believes that there are spirits amongst us that hear us and protect us from the stupid things we do in life.  I honestly believe there are guardian angels and others that divert really bad things from happening to us sometimes, at least to me.  I'm not sure why they keep saving my butt but I know beyond a doubt that they have on numerous occasions.

But back to the medal.  Who is the Madonna del Ghisallo?  She is the patron saint of cycling and I have a silver religious medal of her that I had blessed by a priest and I wear next to my crucifix every time I ride.  I had her with me the day of my accident on July 11th and I truly believe that without her I probably would have lost an arm or worse in that accident.

I always put her on around my neck when I get ready to go and she definitely saved my tail on numerous occasions, including TWICE today!  Once when I was in Huntington on my training ride and as I was riding "as far right as is practicable" on the side of the road past a long line of stopped cars when suddenly a car decided it needed to parallel park and turned right into my path.  Something in me allowed me to stop and he stopped his car and I rode on.

Then later, as I was almost home an elderly woman almost "t-boned" me as I was going through an intersection.  I guess she just decided she was faster than me (not to be confused with those who think they're cooler than me) and she was going to make that turn.  Fortunately I screamed loudly enough that it scared the bejeezus out of her (or maybe just soiled her Depends) and she stopped while I passed unscathed about two feet in front of her car.

And I owe it all to the medallion I wear around my neck, which looks like this;

I really believe (in my superstition addled mind) that it is becuase of this divine intervention that I have survived and stayed upright on my bicycle for as long as I have.  As I write this, I have logged a little over 2400 miles of riding this year and my goal is to get as close to 3600 as I can (the distance it would be if I could ever do my cross country ride for Sunrise).  With a little luck, health, and some more intercession, I may just make it!

And I will see you, my friends (and our blessed Madonna del Ghisallo), on the road!

Maybe If I Wanted to Pedal to Atlantis? (A Day to Evaluate My Life)

Okay, so today I'm reading along and I spot this article about a pedal powered submarine and I get this idea - what if I decide that instead of taking Connor's Army across the United States to raise money for Sunrise Day Camp, I go across the Atlantic and try to find Atlantis with a bicycle powered submarine!

Now granted, the overhead for this fund raising endeavor would be a lot higher, there are boats to charter, air tanks to purchase and fill with the proper mixture of Nitrox which would go into lots of these:

Not to mention all the food, shark repellent, shark cages, fuel for the boat, permits, sunscreen, etc.  Now granted, I probably would be able to get a lot more funding and interest in the project because of the simple fact that I'm trying to reach Atlantis!  Don't you think people would come out of the woodwork to sponsor this trip?  I probably would raise much more than the $50,000 for Sunrise that is my goal.  Granted, I may never really find Atlantis, but it would be one heck of an experience.

Oh well, if that fails I could try to create the first pedal powered helicopter - I mean it DOES carry a prize of $250,000!!!!!  After I pay all the construction bills, my colleagues who'll actually have to come up with the design I may end up with the $10,000 that I need for the cross - country Connor's Army ride so I can then spend the summer riding for Sunrise!  Now that sounds like the best option doesn't it, I help advance mankind from the mundanity of earthbound pedal powered transportation and fund my real passion - riding my bike to help the cancer community!

You know I really wish I could figure this out.  Today is Evaluate Your Life Day and I've tried to spend some time doing that today.  Of course, I wish I could have ridden my bike to do it (I always seem to do my best thinking on my bike) but the weather and familial schedule didn't allow for it.

Nevertheless, I did spend some time deep in contemplation of this day in a sort of Nietzschean mode, at times finding my reflection in the mirror and I looked a little like this fellow, only in color and without the mustache;

Now, I don't pretend that my thought processes of the day came anywhere close to the prolific output of this first of all the modern thinkers who thought that "art is the great stimulus to life" as can be found on his fan site.  I mean if anyone took full advantage of Evaluate Your Life Day it was definitely this man.  Of course, there were those who came along later who totally twisted his ideas and made a travesty of everything he truly believed but that's material for another blog, n'est pas?

So I've been looking at my life and wondering if I'm really doing much with it.  Yes, I can hear my wife's comments right now.  I do know that I make a difference in the lives of my students.  Every year after the last performance of the Shakespeare production we have this little ritual that has grown over the years.  The ritual used to be just giving gifts to the advisors that have helped the students with the production.  Then it morphed into the juniors all picking seniors and giving them goodbye gifts and saying a little something about them in front of the entire club.  A few years ago the seniors started a new ritual in which they gather around me in a semi-circle on the stage and they tell everyone how I changed or influenced their lives.  I do have to say that I am always a little uncomfortable about this because I don't do what I do for praise - I just want to give the kids the best high school drama experience that I can.

Anyway, they gather around to tell me how I have effected their lives and it is a truly emotional and humbling experience.  As a teacher I do what I do and I try to contstantly be the best teacher I can be.  However, sometimes its the smallest things that these amazing kids remember and they always make me seem so incredible grateful for what I do.  I can never believe that I am as good a person as they say I am so my wife has taken to video taping these events and showing them to me later.  Even now when I go back and look at them I still can't believe they're talking about me.

But still, I don't feel like I've done enough with my life.  I wish there was something more I could do.  Yes, I volunteer at Sunrise and I've raised money for the American Cancer Society but I wish there was something more substantial I were doing - not win the Nobel Peace Prize:



(How cool would it be to have one of these?)

I guess that is why this trip across the country has become such a dream of mind as well as my potential Mitzvah Project.  I feel called to do something real and tangible that I can look on and say "I did that".  Yes, I know I've helped lots of people find their passion and I can see their faces in my mind - but that is something that all teachers do, its part of the reward (for it certainly isn't monetary) of being a teacher - its why we go into it.

Nor do I want it for the accolades, I don't need someone to tell me "oh, its amazing that you rode across the country to raise money for those kids."   No, this is something I need to do for my own soul - to say I did this - I made a difference and I did something that really mattered.  I left performing because I was frustrated and I was a bit jaded by the experience of being consistently one of the best in the room but for whatever reason just not making it to the next level.  My years on the otherside of the table have taught me that it may not have had ever had anything to do with me or my talent but on a myriad of other issues - ah, hindsight is 20/20.

So I left performing, something I did do enjoy doing and I decided to become a teacher instead.  I also decided that at the level I was as a performer I didn't want to be on the road constantly while trying to have a family and be a good husband to my new wife - so I stopped.

Now, years later I have three amazing children and I know within my heart that if I didn't have this job they wouldn't be here (yay health insurance).  And yet, I still sometimes wonder if it was all worth it, will I make a difference that matters to people.  Will I be able to help the global community in any way, will my "sacrifice" mean anything?

	Creed - My Sacrifice .mp3
	Found at bee mp3 search engine

I still don't know.  At this point I've even lost hope of getting sponsorships for the ride so it looks like my dream may have to be deferred, perhaps a year.  I just hope it doesn't shrivel away and die completely but I'm just at a loss how to make it happen. 

Be that as it may, life still spins madly on (thank you again Heather Burian) and I still have former students that write me and remind me that I did something good in my life (thank you Emily, Jason, Phil, Brittney, Melanie, etc., etc., etc.) and that what I do for a living at least makes a difference in the small cosmos that is Syosset High School. 

Stay well and I'll see you on the road!