I realize that with all the myriad of blogs on the internet the chances that someone actually reads mine are slim. I guess its the equivilent of casting out my message(s) in a bottle adrift on the cyber sea and hoping that someone picks it (them) up and reads it (them).
Nevertheless, I am attempting (in my new state of resolution) to actually keep some sort of schedule. As I mentioned in my last post, the musical (High School Musical, that is) pretty much had taken hold of my existence (and that of my family) for the last two weeks and yesterday I finally got back on my bike (much to the consternation of my groove). So today I find myself writing again, two days in a row at that, although I wish this posting were of a more light-hearted nature.
Let me preface this next part by saying I had a terrible headache last night so I went to bed early. However, I woke up at 12:45 a.m. unexplainedly and it took me a while to get back to sleep. I couldn't figure out why. I then proceeded to wake up every 30 minutes or so until I finally just got out of bed at 5:00. Today my school was evacuated (actually tomorrow as well) due to some asbestos that had somehow gotten into the air in one of the sections of school. I thought, "great, I'll go home and have a great time relaxing before the kids come home," as i was totally exhausted from my sleepless night. However, as I walked in the door Amy told me we needed to talk. My first thought was for my parents, thinking something had happened to one of them which is a growing fear of mine particularly in light of my father's Parkinson's. It doesn't matter that is in very early stages and that he's actually showing some signs of improvement, I worry about him most of the time. Then my second thought was trying to figure out what had I possibly done that I was about to get in serious trouble for. There was no way I was prepared for what came next.
You see, about 12 years ago Amy gave me for my birthday present the name and address of my biological mother, Luwona Davis, telling me at the time that it was up to me to do with the information as I pleased. I ended up contacting her and began corresponding with my half-sisters Tamara and Winnie. We made plans to go down and visit Lou, Tamara and my half-brother David down in Knoxville, TN over my spring break. To make a long (but extremely happy) story short we made a great connection and kept in touch via the cyber sea. Indeed, my first cycling fundraising attempts (as that's what this blog is all about in the first place) were dedicated to Tamara, Winnie and my sister Angela in gratitude for their surviving their personal fights with cancer. On top of that, for the very first Victory Ride Tamara and Winnie surprised me by coming up to be here with me. It was one of the most special days of my life.
Although I really didn't have as much contact with David as I did with my sisters, Tamara always kept us apprised of what was going on with him and I did get the chance to talk with him on the phone a few times - most often when he was on the road. He kept saying he would visit us if one of his runs as a long-haul trucker brought him up this way but he never got the chance.
You see, at about 12:45 a.m. this morning on a fog shrouded stretch of highway leading out of Houston, my brother David died in an accident doing what he loved to do - driving his rig. When I got home this afternoon (early) this was the news with which Amy greeted me. I then called Tamara and we spoke for a while and I talked to Lou. They were both emotional wrecks and personally I'm still in a state of numbness. Even though we hadn't been in touch in a while, there was always that thought in the back of my head that we would be able to see each other some day. I know from things that Tamara has written that David was very proud of his big brother and I have to say I was pretty proud (and in a way a little envious that his job allowed him to travel around and see the country) of David because he had found a job that he was good at and that he enjoyed doing. When you think of it, that's really the best job in the world - the one that you love and from what I know, David loved driving.
I don't know what the next few days will bring as I emotionally thaw out and become more aware of what I'm feeling. I know tomorrow the weather forcast is for rain in the morning but I'm fairly certain I will be out in the midst of it riding and thinking of David feeling guilty that I didn't stay in better touch with him. If nothing else, I want to feel the rain battering me as I think of my baby brother.
So if any of you are out there and happen to pick up this message in a bottle on the cyber sea of information please, please, please do this - think of one person that is important in your life that you have not been in contact with in a while and contact them. Write, e-mail, text, twitter or call - but contact them and let them know they are important in your life. Tell them you love them. Tell them you think about them. Make a date to see them. But don't wait until its too late.
It's too late to tell you to your face, but I know you hear me - I miss you David.
Nevertheless, I am attempting (in my new state of resolution) to actually keep some sort of schedule. As I mentioned in my last post, the musical (High School Musical, that is) pretty much had taken hold of my existence (and that of my family) for the last two weeks and yesterday I finally got back on my bike (much to the consternation of my groove). So today I find myself writing again, two days in a row at that, although I wish this posting were of a more light-hearted nature.
Let me preface this next part by saying I had a terrible headache last night so I went to bed early. However, I woke up at 12:45 a.m. unexplainedly and it took me a while to get back to sleep. I couldn't figure out why. I then proceeded to wake up every 30 minutes or so until I finally just got out of bed at 5:00. Today my school was evacuated (actually tomorrow as well) due to some asbestos that had somehow gotten into the air in one of the sections of school. I thought, "great, I'll go home and have a great time relaxing before the kids come home," as i was totally exhausted from my sleepless night. However, as I walked in the door Amy told me we needed to talk. My first thought was for my parents, thinking something had happened to one of them which is a growing fear of mine particularly in light of my father's Parkinson's. It doesn't matter that is in very early stages and that he's actually showing some signs of improvement, I worry about him most of the time. Then my second thought was trying to figure out what had I possibly done that I was about to get in serious trouble for. There was no way I was prepared for what came next.
You see, about 12 years ago Amy gave me for my birthday present the name and address of my biological mother, Luwona Davis, telling me at the time that it was up to me to do with the information as I pleased. I ended up contacting her and began corresponding with my half-sisters Tamara and Winnie. We made plans to go down and visit Lou, Tamara and my half-brother David down in Knoxville, TN over my spring break. To make a long (but extremely happy) story short we made a great connection and kept in touch via the cyber sea. Indeed, my first cycling fundraising attempts (as that's what this blog is all about in the first place) were dedicated to Tamara, Winnie and my sister Angela in gratitude for their surviving their personal fights with cancer. On top of that, for the very first Victory Ride Tamara and Winnie surprised me by coming up to be here with me. It was one of the most special days of my life.
Although I really didn't have as much contact with David as I did with my sisters, Tamara always kept us apprised of what was going on with him and I did get the chance to talk with him on the phone a few times - most often when he was on the road. He kept saying he would visit us if one of his runs as a long-haul trucker brought him up this way but he never got the chance.
You see, at about 12:45 a.m. this morning on a fog shrouded stretch of highway leading out of Houston, my brother David died in an accident doing what he loved to do - driving his rig. When I got home this afternoon (early) this was the news with which Amy greeted me. I then called Tamara and we spoke for a while and I talked to Lou. They were both emotional wrecks and personally I'm still in a state of numbness. Even though we hadn't been in touch in a while, there was always that thought in the back of my head that we would be able to see each other some day. I know from things that Tamara has written that David was very proud of his big brother and I have to say I was pretty proud (and in a way a little envious that his job allowed him to travel around and see the country) of David because he had found a job that he was good at and that he enjoyed doing. When you think of it, that's really the best job in the world - the one that you love and from what I know, David loved driving.
I don't know what the next few days will bring as I emotionally thaw out and become more aware of what I'm feeling. I know tomorrow the weather forcast is for rain in the morning but I'm fairly certain I will be out in the midst of it riding and thinking of David feeling guilty that I didn't stay in better touch with him. If nothing else, I want to feel the rain battering me as I think of my baby brother.
So if any of you are out there and happen to pick up this message in a bottle on the cyber sea of information please, please, please do this - think of one person that is important in your life that you have not been in contact with in a while and contact them. Write, e-mail, text, twitter or call - but contact them and let them know they are important in your life. Tell them you love them. Tell them you think about them. Make a date to see them. But don't wait until its too late.
It's too late to tell you to your face, but I know you hear me - I miss you David.
And for you, my friends, I'll see you on the road.
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