So if any of you have followed my blogs, either recently or for the long haul, you know at least two things about me - I like to ride my bicycle (yes, the anthem of Queen should be resounding in all of your heads right now), and I Hate Cancer! Today I had the chance to combine both of these "passions".
You see, I received word from my sister Tamara today that our Aunt Janice died on Saturday. We knew she was sick and she was too sick to make it to David's memorial but we didn't know how sick. Now we know and to tell you the truth, it just pisses me off.
You know how in your life there are little things, little moments in time that solidify certain times of your life. All you have to do is think of them and you know where you were and mental images just pop into life. I do that all the time. All I have to do is think of a certain time in my life and the mental images just come up. I have a lot of those images in my head from my Aunt Janice. During a very developmental time of my life I spent the better part of three summers with her - the summers after I turned 8, 9 and 10. One of the biggest memories I have of her is how patient and gentle she was with me when I needed my stitches out.
I wasn't really a big cry baby but I was known for getting into things. Usually taking them apart and then my dad would have to put them back together again. Well, one May while on a fishing trip with him I decided to make a bow and some arrows out of sticks I found around and some fishing line. While notching the arrows so the string would fit the stick split and the knife ended up slicing my thumb down the middle lengthwise and cut down to the bone. A crazy, mad rush to an out of the way hospital later I was stitched up and the inside of my dad's pickup truck had a lot of my blood in it (good thing I didn't disappear, but this was way before CSI)! Well, the stitches were unique (at least for me who had been stitched up many times before - I was an "adventurous" kid) in tha they went right through my thumbnail - ouch!
Anyway, when I got to my Aunt Janice's house for the summer the stitches needed to be taken out. I remember so well how gentle she was and how patient she was with getting those stitches out. Even though her own children were very small at the time she was so good at it that I barely felt anything. I spent the rest of that summer and the next going between her and my Grandma Connor's house but my times with her (and running amok with the neighborhood kids) was exactly what I needed for the summer. During a very developmental part of my life, she provided a chance for me to have summers with a certain kind of nurturing that I really needed. She even sent me to Bible Camp - but that's a story for another time. Unfortunately, due to some tricky family dynamics and issues I drifted out of touch with Aunt Janice and the summer of my tenth year was the last time I saw or heard from her.
Yet today the memory of the stitches and of those summers came flooding back as I rode and pushed myself up the hills - I searched out each one that I could and attacked it like I was attacking this hateful disease that has touched my family yet again! I just wanted to pound something and just keep attacking it. And as I was attacking I had another cathartic moment, one that was equal parts emotional catharsis and mental/spiritual epiphany. In my ride I resolved one thing for certain - my cross country ride HAS to happen next summer! I need to do something MORE to help all the others that are fighting this disease - especially the kids who have done nothing but try to grow up and be kids. They deserve the same kind of summers I had - the chance to run around with friends, play games, swim and just have fun.
So as I finished up my 30 mile slug fest with cancer, before I went home I stopped by Adams Cyclery and spoke to Chuck about what kind of bike I would need for the cross country journey. I was still pissed and hurt and close to tears but Chuck was great and supportive and after talking a bit we decided that a cyclocross bike with rack mounts would be the best for my needs. A good, light aluminum frame (no crabon for me!) with a compact front crank to handle the mountains. Since Adams Cyclery is one of my sponsors he said he could help me get a 2009 model (which is vastly cheaper than the 2010s) and I can do it on lay away (wow, people actually still do that). Unfortunately, with finances being what they are now I can't even afford the down payment, much less the $1400 for the whole bike, argh! I keep hoping I can find a way though. So, if anyone out there sees any leprechauns (and catches one) or wins the lottery and wants to share the winnings, (or if any bike companies out there are reading this and want to throw a good quality cyclocross bike my way, lol) its a Trek CX-01 and I'll put you down as a sponsor!
But no matter what - Cancer continues to piss me off as it keeps insiduously sneaking up on little cat feet and touching my family. I hate it and I would love nothing better to help eradicate it in our lifetime. For now I'll do what I can for those youngest members who are fighting it - but next summer Cancer better watch out!
Stay well my friends and I'll see you on the road.
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