About four weeks ago my Livestrong bracelet broke. "No problem," I thought to myself, "I'll just go and get another one out of my drawer." You see, every since my sister Angela was diagnosed with cancer in 2005 I've worn one of these bracelets to support her in her fight against cancer. When my mother and two other sisters also contracted other cancers within the next two years I vowed I would never stop wearing one until this horrible disease was beaten.
That was the year Connor's Army was born and I vowed that I would do something to help not only my family but others in their own fights against cancer to show my gratitude for my own family's successful struggles with the disease. I would always manage to buy a few at a time thinking if one broke I could then instantly replace it. The disease has not yet been eradicated (like it's predecessor polio) so I'm still wearing my bracelet. As a matter of fact, when we decided to begin our very first Connor's Army fundraiser I chose yellow as the color of our jerseys because it would match the bracelet!
I know, sounds stupid right? I mean, I have always liked yellow, even though it's not the artsiest of colors and can make you look jaundiced if you don't have just the right skin tone. Nevertheless, I have always liked it even though as a theatre person my wardrobe tends to runs to various shades of black. To me yellos is a happy color, a color of rebirth and sunlight, a color of hope. If you go to Color Wheel Pro and look up their interpretations of color, they state that yellow is;
Yellow is the color of sunshine. It's associated with joy, happiness, intellect, and energy. Yellow produces a warming effect, arouses cheerfulness, stimulates mental activity, and generates muscle energy.
"What," you may be asking yourself, "is your point and what has precipitated this color rant/meandering mental migration?" Well, you see it all started about two weeks ago when I realized that the replacement bracelet I had put on to replace the Livestrong bracelet that had broken two weeks previously was not an adult-sized bracelt. It was a child's, one that I had bought for the kids to wear if they decided they wanted to wear one like daddy. Unfortunately, my children tend to run on the small size (genetics, go figure) so the youth bracelets don't fit them. Soooo, I put them in the drawer with the other bracelets for safe keeping thinking they would be there if the kids ever wanted them. Of course, completely forgetting that fact, when I broke my latest one I just reached in and put it on. I figured that since I was a "slightly" built individual it would be fine. Well, after two weeks of struggling with it tangling up in everything and cutting off my circulation I decided I needed an adult, the youth was cutting it (hmmm, is that philosophical or what - but more on that in another post).
Now I tend to go through one of these bracelets every eight to twelve months due to the fact that I never take them off - I sweat in them, stretch them over my jerseys when I ride, When I first made my decision to wear one always I bought eight of them from a local bike shop - five adult and three youth. So naturally, when I realized I was completely out of adult Livestrong bracelets I went to the LBS (local bike shop) where I originally purchased them only to be told, "Sorry dude, we don't carry those anymore." Undeterred, I went to another bike shop and got the same response. So I went to a third, another negative response. It wasn't until I went to the fourth bike shop and was told not only did they plan on not stocking them but I was asked, "Why would you want to wear that piece of crap anyway? Armstrong's just a big cheater who got caught!"
Well, instead of getting into a big philosophical argument with this idiot (becasue even idiots are entitled to their wrong beliefs), I thanked him and left. What spurred me to lots of introspective brain meanderings was the fact that this counter jockey's point of view is not a solitary one. There are many editorials out there decrying Lance Armstrong's cheating ways and how it denigrates every cancer survivor by even coming near one, much less wearing one. There are thousands of blog entries out there that speak of the evil intent behind Nike's continuing to sell the bands and support the Livestrong Foundation, as if it is some corporate conspiracy to use the proceeds from the continued sale of these bracelets to somehow buy respectability. Indeed, an article on the Wristbands.com website gives a few ideas of how they can be altered to "more honestly" represent the idea behind the bands.
To hell with all of you! Sorry, my blog, I can say what I want. I don't wear the wristband because I support Nike or because I am convinced of Lance Armstrong's innocence. It is beyond refute that he did use banned substance to win at cycling;
Now people are still arguing about whether or not this was a true confession. In my own faith confession (or reconciliation) is one of the holy sacraments (baptism, communion, reconciliation, confirmation, marriage, holy orders, annointing of the sick). In an article on AmericanCatholic.org it makes very clear that three things are required of a penitent in order to receive the sacrament of reconciliation (or confession) worthily:
- He must be contrite—or, in other words, sorry for his sins.
- He must confess those sins fully, in kind and in number.
- He must be willing to do penance and make amends for his sins.
I'm not going to defend what he did as an athlete. Did I think he was incredibly awesome on the bike? Yes. Did I somehow secretly get motivated by watching videos of him race? Yes. Were there moments in my deluded state where I secretly thought, "Hey, he came back from cancer and raced, maybe I could start racing too!" Yes. Did I like to cheer for a fellow Texan? HELL Yes! Did I refuse to believe he could have used drugs to cheat after all the drugs that were pumped through him during chemo? You better believe it. Was I incredibly dissappointed and let down when I watched the above interview and heard him finally "come clean"? Absolutely.
But I don't wear the yellow bracelet for him. Say what you want about his cheating, doing anything to win mentality. But he has done an incredible amount of good for the cancer community. So many have been helped becuase of the foundation he began and his advocacy. As a cancer suvivor he brought the spotlight on this disease and got corporate America to begin to invest in eradicating this disease. So for that alone I am grateful to Lance Armstrong for what he has done to help the fight against cancer. The Livestrong Foundation is still advocating for those battling this disease and Lance Armstrong is no longer involved in the operation of the organization.
No, I wear the bracelet for my sisters, my mother, the children of Sunrise, my friends and all those I met along the Ride Across America who have battled or are battling this disease. I wear the band in support for them. I ride in yellow in support for the people who don't even know they have the disease and will soon be fighting their own battle. Current estimates are that 35,000 a day will be diagnosed with cancer. I wear yellow to lend them my strength in their fight.
And I look forward to a day when I don't have to buy another yellow bracelet. Ever.
Stay well my friends and I'll see you on the road.
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