How Lovely to be a Father

Okay, so today's post will have nothing to do with bicycling. Okay, maybe a little bit at the end but really that's not the main jist of this post. Although I will apologize cyberly for my Irish temper a little later as well.

Yesterday was a day we've been looking to for a long time. Yesterday, being Memorial Day is one of two very big days at the Connor Household - the day we sell lemonade for a worthy cause. For those of you who don't know me as well (AND AGAIN, WHY AREN'T YOU PEOPLE SIGNED UP AS "FOLLOWERS" - okay, no more yelling, be how nonplussed do I have to get to get some followers around here? You know, officially register, get your friends to register, maybe I'll start using this as a political forum to discuss important political theory - oh wait, time to get back on task) might not know that Sarah has been running a lemonade stand twice a year since she was five years old. Just follow the link to your right and you can go to her website. Recently she was awarded the EPA's highest award, the Environmental Quality Award and she has had many write ups for her efforts (http://www.tonic.com/article/girl-sells-lemonade-to-plant-trees/ and http://www.newsday.com/long-island/northport-girl-raises-money-to-plant-trees-1.1481191 to mention a few) and I can't tell you how proud I am that she does this all on her own.

Well, this year there was a bit of a problem as the neighbors two doors up decided they were going to sell lemonade as well to raise money for children's cancer. Now, I'm not saying that one cause is more worthy than another and in these economically difficult times ever dime we can raise for non-profit efforts are important.

However I did take umbrage over the fact that this is something Sarah has been doing for six years now and the daughter of our neighbors has even helped sell lemonade in the past so its not as if they are unaware that this is something that Sarah does. However, to just go ahead and do it I thought was unneighborly. We weren't going to say anything but then we noticed Sarah was getting upset over the situation, especially when people bought from the other stand and would tell Sarah, "oh, we thought that was your stand". It was then that Amy (the calm one) decided to go speak to the parents a second time. You see the first time she went the six or seven girls selling (it must also be mentioned here that they were selling friendship bracelets as well and that seemed to be the biggest thing they were selling with lemonade an "also") seemed to be okay with not selling anymore and the husband was saying, "oh, okay, let me talk to my wife about it".

Apparently, the wife didn't think too much of being "neighborly" and so when Amy went back a second time I heard loud conversation coming from two doors up the street and my impression was that it wasn't working out. At that point I had had it and even if I didn't look like it, I felt like this;
I stormed my way up the sidewalk and I really wish that I had listened to Amy when she told me to stop and turn around - she's almost ALWAYS right (and yes, I do hereby proclaiming it publically on the internet for all to see) and this was no exception. However, I was by this point in this state:
and turning me around was going to be problematic. So, to make a long story short, Amy had reached a sort of tentative truce but all I heard as I walked up the street was the neighbor loudly saying, "fine, we will sell lemonade for children's cancer and you will sell yours for whatever". At that point I started yelling and ended with shouting, "what a great lesson to teach the children".

When it comes to my children I will defend them against anyone to the death - don't mess with my kids. Amy, of course is the more rational one and I too often give into my fiery Irish temper.
Needless to say, I mortally embarassed my wife - not me so much - but my wife was fit to be tied. Never mind I was defending the emotions of my child who has been so much with the exclusion of her classmates and the intellectual/emotional bullying she has been through this year - I was not going to let it happen again!!!!!!!!

On top of that, she was being interviewed by two different news crews - Fios 1 and News 12 - to feature what she does and the fact that she had recently received the Environmental Quality Award. Now that was an interesting predicament - you see Fios 1 was supposed to arrive at 9:00 and News 12 at 10:00. Well, Fios 1 didn't get there until close to 9:45 and News 12 was on time. As a result it was like dueling camera men trying to get the perfect shot and we did a round robin of interviews as each of us spoke to the interviewers in turn - it was wild. Part of me just wanted to go up the street and be very petty and say, "yes, I know YOUR children have had newspaper articles written about their lemonade stands but do you have THIS?". Petty, yes but give me a break people, do the right thing.

Anyway, so today I had to do the right thing. I have to say, Amy was terribly embarassed and she was going to go and apologize because she knew that if the neighbor said anything caustic to me I would get into it again. But after riding to and from work today to get it out of my system (see, I told you cycling would figure in later - IT IS MY THERAPY!!!!!) I came home and told her that I would apologize myself - its only right.

So with my hat in my hand (its a metaphor people) and wearing my best sheepish expression of humility;

(okay, so this looks more like my sheepish look of stupidity)

I went up the street to apologize. I swallowed my pride and I didn't try to defend my actions, only apologizing for the rudeness of my behavior. My therapist would have been proud - not of the outburst, but for taking responsibility for my actions and apologizing without getting myself worked up into anger again.

So what does the title of this blog have to do with anything? Well, sometimes the hardest part of being a father is doing the right thing for your kids, even if it means apologizing for being a jerk so the backlash isn't taken out on your kids. My children are wonderfully incredibly people and they are growing so fast and now that they understand more of what momma and daddy do and say - modeling the right thing to do is even more important.

So parents I'm sure you sympathize with me (although you, like my neighbor and myself, may think I'm a big doofus) in that we'll do whatever we need to protect the feelings of our children - yet we have to remember that sometimes we just have to make it right, the best way we can.

And with all of that, I think I need a good long ride!

I'll see you on the road!