Straddling the Great Divide!

I'm 50 years old.  There, I said it.  I've been in denial for far too long.  And it's not denial of this sort;

No, I've been holding back from admitting it for far too long and it feels good to finally get it off my chest.  I feel like I've joined the ranks of FA (Fifty-somethings Anonymous) rather than the dubious fraternity of Alpha Alpha Rho Pi.  I mean, my birth certificate says I'm 50 and my driver's license says I'm 50.  However the mirror - most of the time - doesn't show me 50 (I still have almost all of my hair, not much grey, I can still bend over and touch the floor and do the splits) and I certainly don't feel 50.  My wife likes to say that I'm still a 17-year-od boy (and not always in a good way) and some might accuse me of having a case of Peter Pan syndrome.  But the truth of the matter is that I really don't feel my age - especially when I compare myself to most other 50-something men I know.

But there are those moments when I realize I am straddling the great divide.  Not like I did last summer;

when I reached the top of Wolf Creek Pass, nor is it quite like the great Colossus of Rhodes we see pictured above.  But I AM now at the halfway point of my life.  As I fully intend to live at least 100 years this is it, just as the song says, "halftime goes by, suddenly you're wise";



To ease me into the midway point of my life wew celebrated my birthday WEEKEND with not just one day of having fun, but FOUR days of fun.  It started with me conducting "God Bless America" with the Ocean Avenue 4th and 5th graders at the Long Island Ducks Friday night.  It was rainy and completely dreary so we decided to skip the beginning of the game (we actually were watching it online until we knew the third inning started) so we timed it to get there at the bottom of the fifth inning.  There were only about 300 in attendance and it was cold but William and James had a great time and the small group of kids sounded great! 

On Saturday it was pouring so I couldn't go out for a ride.  So instead the family and I continued to "get our geek on" and watched two and a half Star Trek movies - last half of The Search for Spock, The Voyage Home, and The Final Frontier! Oh, and we managed to squeeze in an epic game of Risk!  The end result was that I was the Supreme Ruler of the World.  Too bad Amy still doesn't recognize that fact.

Sunday was a rather incredible day as it began with a snuggle in bed with one of the Connor progeny and the other making Challa bread French Toast for us in the kitchen.  In the afternoon I was able to engage in my yearly ritual - riding one mile for every year of my existence!  This time I did the 50 miles in LESS THAN THREE HOURS - How's that for a guy whose life is half way over?!?!  After cleaning up we got to watch some more Star Trek with the whole family (The Undiscovered Country) and I finally got to watch the first Lord of the Rings movie with Sarah.  Of course the ultimate irony was that a call came in and since I hadn't gone on any all weekend I decided I should go.  I only wish we could have fit in a game of D&D to totally get my 17-year-old geek on but that would require a dungeon master, which we didn't have at hand.

And then there was today!  The great climactic day of my full weekend celebration.  Due to various scheduling problems (it is Memorial Day weekend) we weren't able to have a party here this weekend so the entire Village of Northport threw me a party instead.  Okay, not really but today is Memorial Day and it IS my birthday and there is a parade!  As a member of the Northport Fire Department I get the honor and priviledge of marching in the various parades.  So I dressed up today in my Class A uniform and headed down to the station.  I was one of the lucky few who got to ride up onto the staging area on 2-9-2 which is our 1938 Mack pumper truck.  We got to ride on the running board holding on to the rails just like they did in the days of yore and we waved to the kids on the street.  It was such a great way to start the day!

When we were getting ready to march one of the chiefs told me to take one of the flags so it ended up that I had the honor of being one of two people who led the fire departement down Main street to the town park for the parade.  I was leading with Will Scherr (another probie) and it was high school all over again.  You see, Will is about six inches taller than me and it brought to mind memories of Ed Trevorrow and I playing the sousaphone together in the marching band.  Ed was also six inches taller than me - at least this way with Will being taller the American flag was taller than the Village of Northport flag - as it should be. 

So I marched the parade with the honor of leading the department and as I marched I pretended all the cheers were for me in honor of my birthday.  Then, as a flag beareer I was part of th ecolor guard that stood up in fornt of the whole village at the town park as part of the Memorial Day observance.  It was really a great feeling to represent my department, my village and my country in such a huge undertaking.

Then it was time to party!!!  The NFD threw a big bar-b-que for the department members and their families back at the station so as soon as I started walking back I called the family and told them to meet me.  For some reason it was taking a long time for them to get there so I decided to go ahead and start eating and so I sat down and bonded with some of the more senior members of the department.  Finally Amy and the kids showed up and after the kids had something to eat Amy disappeared - that should have been my second clue.  I turned around and Amy was bringing out a huge sheet cake and she got everyone to start singing "Happy Birthday" - if I wasn't sure if people knew it was my birthday before, they sure knew it now!!!!  Apparently she had cleared it with the chiefs before hand and that's why she was late - they had to pick up the cake at Stop and Shop!  If my fellow members didn't know I was a member of AARP before, they do now!  And you know what?  I'm okay with that now.  I don't look my age, I don't feel my age, and once again Amy will tell you I don't act my age.

And then there was birthday dinner.  Despite the fact I had consumed hamburgers, the plan was to go to Smokaburger for dinner.  However as we were parked outside we thought, "what about 5 Guys?"  So, after the long trek to 5 Guys we get in and realize there was nothing for Sarah to eat.  So we pile back in the car and head back to Smokaburger. While there we realize we should just get it to go so we could watch yet another Star Trek, The Final Frontier.  So we get it to go and becuase we were so starved we ended up with a veritable Smokaburger Smorgasborg, i.e., too much food!  But before dessert (more cake) I got some of the best presents I've ever received from my wonderful family.  From the kids I received the lego Ambulance and bicycle set to commemorate the accident that ended my last Gold Coast attempt..  For those of you unfamiliar with your Lego Encyclopedia it looks like this;

Now whether I'm supposed to be the guy on the bike or the EMT I'm not sure.  But we did discover that I can put the EMT on the bike and I can be part of the bike patrol!  And my lovely bride gave me my very own blue light (yes, folks I am a K-Mart special) for going on calls.  It really isn't something I need most of the time but it will be very helpful when I need to get to Station 1 at night and people are moving slowly.  So my gifts were really all about being an EMS provider, now to go on some calls!

But the kids' gift reminded me of a very important aspect - to keep being a kid.  But maybe that's okay.  In the days leading up to this weekend I was feeling sort of depressd that we weren't having a 50th birthday party (a long sotry - another blog entry in itself) and I was feeling fatalistic about the big 5-0 (and it wasn't even the Hawaiin variety).  Of course the fatalism may just be the Irish in me;

I've also been reading (and sometimes reciting) "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock" which has been one of my favorite pieces of poetry since I was 22-years-old yet I never really "got" it until now.  Of course, I'm not sure anyone ever gets all of T.S. Eliots seminal work but now after almost 30 years I sort of get it.  Really.  There are those days when I particularly feel the line "I grow old, I grow old, I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled...."  I think especially after 8700 miles on the bike in the last year my legs and spine definitely feel shorter.  And yes, there are times when in my dreams I do hear "the mermaids singing each to each".  And I do have those moments when I regret the things I have not done and the dreams I did not follow.  But I'm also in a very good place right now and I have a really good life and an amazing family.  I have the next half of my life to make up for not being as good a father/husband as I should have been the first.

I guess the main hting is that I still feel young(ish).  Part of that I attribute to mykids - they keep me young as I try to keep up with them.  They remind me of what my life is supposed to be about.  It's not always easy to remember but I am trying.  As long as I can try to stay young at heart, I'm hoping to stay young(er) in body.  As someone once said, you do have to grow older, but you don't have to grow up.  So if I'm going to live another 50 years, I guess this begins my second childhood.  Now where's the cheerios?!?

Stay well all of you - I'll see you on the road (fortunately this time around without training wheels).

365 Days of Christmas....uh, Chanukah......uh, Chrismukkah!

Okay, I admit it - I'm a big wuss!  Maybe its my Irish sentimentality or its just becuase I love the holidays but I always get very teary-eyed around this time of year.  Of course, it may also be because my usual temperature cutoff for riding is 15 degrees and it is often very cold so you see me doing this on occasion;



(Brakes, we don't need no stinkin' brakes!)

 That in itself is enough to cause you to tear up - that wind can be downright brutal!  I mean, I know my cycling compatriots in Minnesota live with it constanly but we're not so hardened to the elements out here.

But I think I mainly tear up because I love watching the holidays through my children's eyes.  I do love the season and I think my wife (the little Long Island Jewish girl) probably loves Christmas the most out of the family.  She decorates the house in such an amazing way and it always looks so festive when she does it.  She has the decoration down to a science and, I dare say, an art.  She is always so organized with all that she does and usually by the first night of Channukah, she has all of her present shopping finished for the entire season. 

This year we had our friends Carla and Rita over with their sons Sean and David for the first night of Channukah last Wednesday (and yes, I know I'm a bit behind but then I wouldn't have all this great material!).  She spent the day making about three pounds of potatoes worth of latkes and we all had an incredibly wonderful feast of fried tuber goodness.  After that we played the traditional Connor family game of "find the Channukah present" and the kids received what they proclaimed to be "THE BEST CHANUKKAH PRESENT EVA!!!!!";

Now, I don't know if its the best EVA, but it was a lot of fun.  And to think we still have almost the entire roll of bubble wrap!  I can already see many snowy days full of fun as we sweat to pop every last bubble on the wrap!

But the real treat so far this holiday season (and its only just begun) was this weekend.  We had a WEEKEND OF CHRISTMAS to start the Christian part of the season.  On Friday Amy decorated the house while we were all off at school (and a fabulous job she did at that).  We came home to find all the old familiar decoration up around the house and it was just the thing to get us in the holiday spirit.  We had a family movie night that night and we started the fire.

On Saturday we started the part of decorating that the kids had been waiting for - THE TREE!!!!!  Every year we choose a theme and this year the theme was silver and white.   We drank copious amounts of egg nog, played Celtic Christmas CDs and decorated the tree.  We managed to only break one ornament!!!!!  We then lit another roaring fire and enjoyed watching the movie Deck the Halls with Danny DeVito, Matthew Broderick and Kristin Chenowith.  As much as I don't really like her, it was an entertaining movie.  Oh yes, we also (okay the family, since with my braces I still can't) ate copious amounts of fresh, home made pop corn.

Then it was off early Sunday morning to catch the 11:30 Radio City Music Hall Christmas show starring the world famous Rockettes!  The ride in was easy and we listened to 97.5 FM which broadcasts all holiday music all the time now - 24/7 (or as Jake from "Too Many Men" would say - "31!")  The traffic wasn't too bad but we got into the city so early, none of the street vendors had warm chestnuts ready -- arrrgggghhhh.  So much for "The Christmas Song"!

We got into the hall and watching the kids be so amazed and intrigued by the decorations and the sheer expanse of the lobby was so much fun to watch.  Especially Sarah, our decorator/artist in training.  She really enjoyed all the paintings and the huge mural of "The Fountain of Youth" that is above the stair case.

We finally settled into our seats after cooling our heels for a bit outside and it wasn't long before we were able to watch the show.  I have to say I had almost as much fun watching the show as the kids (and it brought back memories of going to the dress rehearsal to watch Deanna and all our other friends who were lucky enough to be cast in the show back when we were still active in the business).  William's all time favorite number was of course;

Go figure, pretty girls, "soldiers", wooden cannon - what was not to love?  This is of course from the boy who didn't want to go to see the Christmas show - but then again he hardly ever wants to see or go anywhere and then when he does he always says, "I didn't like it ---- I LOVED IT!" and of course this was no different.

But the number I hardly saw at all because I was watching William completely enthralled to the point that I wasn't sure he was even breathing was:

I truly teared up as I saw the look of rapture on his face the entire time this number was on.  He looked simply angelic and the look on his face was one of pure adulation for what he was seeing.  All I could think of was, "this is what Christmas is all about!"   Sure, we can go to mass and sing the songs and listen to the story of the baby Jesus, but it is these moments when we see our child really GET it that we know what the season is truly about.  And it made me think - this is what we need - 365 DAYS OF CHRISMAKKUH!  If every day could just be about this magic and this joy and helping make sure that our children's eyes are as full of this wonder and joy as we can help them find in the world around them.

After the show we wandered around looking for lunch and finally settled on Lindy's where we had great pastrami sandwiches and of course, the cheesecake.  We then headed back the Radio City for a backstage tour where we got to go all over, including up to the light booth to see the show from the highest vantage point.  It was a little weird being up there since that's the floor where all the rehearsal studios are housed and Amy and I both have so many memories of auditioning for various shows (not just RCMH) there.  It was a little weird.

Following that great tour (William was in heaven as he had his picture taken with a real Rockette) we finally got our roasted chestnuts and we headed for;

(So this is Christmas)

We managed to weave our way through the crowds so the kids did not see the tree until we came upon it from the front and the kids' faces were a joy to watch as they screamed, "THE TREEEEEE, I KNEW IT!!!!!!).  The only problem that we ran into (other than the crushing crowds and three members of our party under three foot tall) was that right before we got to where we could take a great picture of the kids with the tree as the background we ran into;

Now if anything is going to detract three Connor children from a huge Christmas tree it would be that.  Soooooo, we allowed ourselves to be swept into the revolving door

And we were instantly transported into a magical (although crowded) land of legos.  It was all we could do to dissuade the young Connor's from purchasing more Lego products (they have a ton and I'm sure Santa will bring them more) but their little faces were pressed against the glass as they saw this;

The squeals of delight could probably be heard by the dogs in the Hamptons!  Finally we were able to get a good photo of the three of them with the tree in the background and we headed back to the car.  On the way we heard two songs that really help bring this Chrismakkuh weekend to a great ending.  The first I'll include the video version for those of you who have never heard it;

Of course you can tell the song is dated by the celebs to whom it makes reference - but its still funny!

The second song was even more poignant when teamed up with all that the day had offered and it goes something like this;

	Gloria Estefan - Christmas through your eyes .mp3
	Found at bee mp3 search engine

But the perfect ending to a perfect Christmas day was driving back to the vision of our home decorated for the holidays, all lit up and welcoming.  And the season has only just begun! 

But the day also reminded me of why I want to ride cross country.  Just as Chrismakkuh is a great season for the kids to experience, so is the summer and the joy of playing and being a kid during this long vacation.  I really do want to make a difference for these kids and I'm hoping for my own Chrismakkuh miracle - for some more sponsors to step forward and offer to help us help these kids!  That would be the greatest gift of all!

Stay well and I will see you all on the road!