Starting a New "Century" - Closing in on a Goal

Okay, so it's not exactly the route that I'm hoping to take next summer but it's pretty close!  Actually, the route that I'm hoping to take this summer in my ride for Sunrise Day Camp follows this route pretty closely but then when it gets outside of Washington, DC we'll head north for Swedesboro, NJ (Angel and Per), Verona, NJ (Mark and Laura) and then head over to Wheatley Heights, NY to end up at the camp.  This route will come to us through the Adventure Cycling Association's maps that they offer on their website.

Yet, with this posting two things are happending.  The first I "talked" about on Tuesday, we are no in our second "century" of postings as this is posting 101.  When I started blogging four years ago I never thought I would be able to continue this long as I've never been very good at keeping up correspondence (sorry Danielle and Emily, I do have e-mails coming your way) or been very good at reflective journals  (sorry Dr. Maurer) but I have been able to keep blogging.  There have been stretches where I haven't blogged for months or only two a month (witness the month of July) but recently I've found a way to keep a little more updated.

The second goal is one that I'm not sure I'll reach but I'll give it a shot.  As of today's ride home I have a combined 2,785 miles on my bicycles.  I don't know that I'll be able to get in any long epic rides over the break (I think about three would do it) but I'm going to give it a try.

You see, my goal this year was to ride 3,000 miles and try to do so in all weather.  My accident really threw me for a loop and I didn't get much riding done then and I was a little on the wimpy side the first part of the school year more often than not finding an excuse for not riding in the morning.  Then I was sick with some sort of upper respiratory issue which knocked me off the bike for another week and a half.  So I lost some time.  I think without the bike issue and the respiratory thing I would be well past 3,000 by now.

But stuff happens and sometimes, as we saw in the following episode of "Mythbusters", when it happens the excrement DOES fly everywhere (WARNING, FAST FORWARD TO 10:27 TO AVOID SOME REALLY DISGUSTING STUFF);



Well, I don't think it will hit the fan if I don't make it the last 215 miles before January 1 but I will be bummed.  But if we look on the bright side of life and remember the glass is always half full then there shouldn't be any problems at all, right?  At least very few (c'mon, name what children's "novel" that is from you Seussical fans!).

However, I am finding more and more ways to use my bicycle and make it more of an every day part of my life.  I've also been "in training" in a sense in that I'm trying to ride more, even if the weather conditions are a bit "adverse".  For example, I've been riding in 20 degree weather no matter now breezy.

Well, today I took on a new challenge.  Traditionally (well, at least for the last 14 years) I make it a point to bring in Dunkin' Donuts and Munchkins to my dance and acting classes.  Today was to be no exception but for the fact that I was riding my bike (Pearl to be exact) in to school today.  I was going to need to transport five dozen donuts and three boxes of 50 munchkins.  With a little preplanning (I went into a DD and borrowed a couple of boxes to "measure") I figured that it would all fit in a standard milk crate with some bungee cords and elastic netting.  So I got to school where all the equipment was stashed, loaded up the crate, cycled to the Syosset DD (I got a few strange looks but mostly from people in their Mercedes SUV's), purchased the sugary goodness, loaded up and rode back.  No one was around to take a picture when I first got back so i had to wait until I changed into my festive attire and it looked a little like this;

I sent it to Amy and a few friends and their common retort was, "you look like a lumberjack who is moonlighting as one of those Chinese food delivery guys in the city."  Well in honor of all of you and of the holiday vacation coming up I leave you all with this little video clip, enjoy;



Well, even though I am going to wear spandex (and not women's clothing) I'll be cavorting with me pedals while wearing lots and lots of layers! Wish me luck and here's hoping I make it to 3,000!

Stay well and I'll see you on the road (but probably without the donuts!)

Ride Me to the Moon - And A Happy 100 To Us!

So tonight I left school at 4:40 PM and by the time I got 1/4 of the way home it was almost pitch black and I found myself riding to the moon.  Okay, so it wasn't quite like the picture above and I wasn't trying to smuggle a small alien in the basket of my bicycle (extra terrestrial or illegal).  And to be honest, I only went airborne once or twice as I was bumping over potholes in the near pitch blackness (I really need to get a better headlight if I'm going to commute at night).  But as I looked up while heading due East on the way home the vision I saw was more like this;

Now, a little known fact about me and my musical tastes.  At one time in my life I was very into Dinah Washington and I had more than a few of her albums on tape (yes, this was before CD's were popular, back when the walkman was the coolest thing to have) and this was one of the songs I used to listen to a lot:

So this song was playing through my head as I saw myself on a dark ribbon of road punctuated periodically by the headlights of the cars behind and the orange moon stretching just above it.  It was as if I could pedal right to the moon if I kept going!

Now I have to mention here that my association with the moon today started at 2:15 in the morning as Amy and I woke up to watch the first total eclipse of the moon on a Winter Solstice since 1638 and we thought we'd wake up the kids to have them witness it as well - c'mon how often do you get the chance to see that.  I think they've calculated that the next time this will happen is 2094!

So we woke the kids up and this is what we saw:

And it made me so happy that I could share this with my kids, even if I knew we were all going to be loopy and sleep deprived the rest of the day.

But now as I rode home riding to the moon I was grateful to be alive, grateful to be able to just see the moon stretch before me, feel the cold air (it was 21 degrees) and the road under my tires.  And I'm reminded of why I escaped relatively unscathed from my accident.

But there others who can't ride to the moon.  People whose immune systems are compromised and becuase of that they can't be riding outside in the freezing weather, they can't take the chance that they're going to fall in the dark and suffer a severe case of road rash.  People like my friend Dana who needs experimental treatment in order to survive the latest attack from cancer.  The children from Sunrise Day Camp, some of whom I came to find out this past summer, have never ridden a bike themselves because they've never been well enough to learn.  For them time is not always on their side - which is another reason why I want to ride for them this summer.  I can put myself out there and hopefully give them a chance to enjoy a summer playing and running as much as they can.  Now that Allan Rosenburg at Coinland.com has offered to sponsor us again we are $1000 closer to this goal - now we only have $7000 more to go to reach our goal and make this cross country trip a reality to help these kids!

And now for the second part of the title.  WITH THIS POST, CONNOR'S ARMY HAS NOW POSTED 100 TIMES SINCE 2006!!!!!  WOOHOOO!!!!

I think this deserves a bit of a celebration;



Yes, we rock!  And its all thanks to all of you!  Keep spreading the word!  And speaking of rockin' I will leave you with this last little sound bite from Pink Floyd in honor of our lunar eclipse!  Enjoy:

	Pink Floyd - Dark Side of the Moon .mp3
	Found at bee mp3 search engine

Stay well everyone and I'll see you on the road!

Pay It Forward

So about ten years ago a movie starring Haley Joel Osment, Kevin Spacey and Helen Hunt hit the theaters.  It was called Pay it Forward and the premise of the movie is young Trevor McKinney (played by Haley Joel), troubled by his mother's (Helen Hunt) alcoholism and fears of his abusive but absent father, is caught up by an intriguing assignment from his new social studies teacher, Mr. Simonet (Kevin Spacey). The assignment: think of something to change the world and put it into action. Trevor conjures the notion of paying a favor not back, but forward--repaying good deeds not with payback, but with new good deeds done to three new people. Trevor's efforts to make good on his idea bring a revolution not only in the lives of himself, his mother and his physically and emotionally scarred teacher, but in those of an ever-widening circle of people completely unknown to him.

In a scene from the movie Trevor explains his plan to his classroom;


As those of you who follow this blog know, I do a lot of my best thinking when I'm riding my bike.  Last week I wrote about a dear friend of mine who has been stricken again by that omnipresent monster cancer.  She is a great teacher and choreographer but unfortunately she doesn't have health insurance to cover her treatments.  On Sunday another friend of hers organized a conference call for people to try and brainstorm how to help raise the $85,000 she'll need for treatments.

If you're reading this you probably know that I am currently looking for sponors to help underwrite the costs for a cross country cycling trip that I want to do to raise $50,000 for Sunrise Day Camp.  All my own fundraising efforts (and those of my amazing wife Amy) have been going into trying to raise the money we are going to need to accomplish that task.  We don't make a lot of money as I'm a public school teacher and we are a single income family.  If we did make more money we wouldn't be needing these sponsors so badly, but we don't so we do need these sponsors in order to make this mitzvah project a reality.

However, while I was riding in this morning and reaching my usual state of flow, I began thinking about my friend and what she needs in order to beat this @#$@ disease and I started sobbing.  As I was feeling the tears freeze on my cheeks something became very clear to me - I'm alive for a reason.  I know I often make light of the day I made God laugh but the reality is had any of a couple of dozen things gone differently that day I wouldn't be alive right now.  One of the doctors in the ER told us that she had seen many similar accidents in her ER experience in the city and most of the cyclists ended up breaking something (collar bone, arm, ribs, neck) and at least three instances she remembered ended up with the cyclist dying. 

The memory of that day and what could have been went through my head as I was riding and I thought "God kept me alive that day for a reason, and maybe this is it."  You see, I went back and forth with the insurance company for about two months in regard to my personal injury settlement.  I originally didn't even know I was entitled to one (I've never really been in an accident before, surprise, huh?) but the claims adjuster mentioned that I would be eligibable for a personal injury settlement in one of our initial conversations.  To make a long story short, we "negotiated" to the point where the insurance company paid me a good amount of money for my "pain and suffering", not a lot mind you, but more than I make from my stipends for my after school theatre program.

I won't lie to you, times are hard and some of that money went to pay taxes and bills.  We are going to use a small portion of it for the trip and that leaves just a little bit left over.  Yes, times are hard and my family could use the money but I think one of the things I'm supposed to do with it is to help a friend in need.  Right now, she needs the money more than we do and it is time to perhaps serve one of the purposes for which God has kept me alive - paying it forward.  If it helps her to be able to stay around longer with those of us who love her (even if we don't get to see her) then the reason for my accident is clear - it is so I can help others.

And so I shall.  It is my greatest Christmas wish that more sponsors step forward and help us raise the money we need to be able to do CAXC (Connor's Army Cross Country) and help eight more children and their families.  We're going to pay it forward and hope that others can help us by doing the same.  AS I mentioned on Friday, Jason Lederman put up a great PSA as part of Project for Awesome 2010 that you can access by clicking here or just watch this:


Thank you Jason from the bottom of my heart for this and for believing in Connor's Army.  It really means so much to my family and to myself!

I know there are at least a few of you out there who follow this blog.  At last count we had 47 followers.  We could really use more to follow us and show potential sponsors that we have people that pay attention to us.  But more importantly, PLEASE help our Christmas wish come true, help us pay it forward to kids whose families are really struggling in these economic times.  Unlike my friend, they may not have others who can step forward and help them with thier financial need and they need us to find the money so they can be normal kids for a summer.  If each of us can try to reach out to three people and those can reach out to three more and those can reach out to three more and each of those can raise just $125 in sponsorships for us together we can all come up with just enough to sponsor CAXC and make a difference!

So what do you say my friends?  Can we pay it forward?  Every little bit will help!

Stay well, and I'll see you on the road.

Desiderata

As I mentioned yesterday, there are three times in the year that I really don't like being me - the three days that I have to post the cast lists for the shows we do at my high school.  However, oddly enough today was a much better day than I thought.

First of all, I had a great ride in today.  I feel much less like a Stay Puft Cyclist after three days of riding in freezing weather.  I don't feel quite as squishy as I was a week ago and my cycling efforts are less labored, although with my cold induced asthma it's hard to tell.  But I don't seem to be breathing quite as heavily as I climb up Stillwell these days.  But today's ride was almost magical.  It wasn't the fastest I'd ever ridden but I was able to just focus on my technique and keeping a good pace and really finding my state of flow. 

Of course, I was dreading walking in the door because I was dreading the conversations I would have to have today.  I did end up having a few but I was completely honest with the young actors I spoke with - I respect them too much and appreciate what they give to me onstage too much to do less.  It was after I spoke to one that I found myself looking at a copy of "Desiderata" which I had taped to the back of my door last year after my brother David died.  I found my eyes drawn to the lines,"If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time."

And I came to the realization that I, like these kids, spent a good chunk of my time as a performer constantly comparing myself to others, which is why I always felt I had to prove myself.  I still do.  I still feel like I'm not a good teacher, director, dancer, husband, father, friend (the few I have), person.  I probably never will.  But then I read the rest of the poem;

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible, without surrender,
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even to the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons;
they are vexatious to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain or bitter,
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs,
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals,
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love,
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life,
keep peace in your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

And the next to last paragraph struck me like a tangible, palpable force "be gentle with yourself.....and whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should."  And I realized that for all my feelings of shortcomings and for all of my fears of how I have hurt my young charges, I have not done anything out of anger or vengeance or spitfulness.  I truly have tried to be the best teacher and director I can be and the universe is unfolding as it should.  It gave me a sense of peace and I've decided I need to read it every day before I start work - perhaps in ten years or so it will sink in.

And today my former student Jason Lederman (one of the few people who I know that actually reads this blog on a consistent basis) posted this video on Youtube that he shot a few days ago.  It's part of Project for Awesome 2010 and it looks like this;



And I found such a reason to be grateful and full of humility today.  For in five years, no one will remember what musical we put on this year or how difficult the casting process was, but with any luck and some angels that shower us with sponsorships, the lives of eight children will be iredicably changed forever and in five years they will remember what we did and how people they will never meet made that possible.  And for that I am truly grateful and hopeful.

Stay well and I'll see you on the road.

Only You Can Prevent Forest Fires!

Okay, so normally I don't talk about work on my blog except to talk about going there and back on my bicycle.  Part of that is becuase many people I come into contact where I teach read my blog (or at least they tell me they do, I'm not really sure.  And IF you do, why in the heck haven't you encouraged other people to read it too?  IF they do, then why have they not signed up to be followers, it isn't that hard and it will show potential sponsors that their product will get exposure - but I digress, big surprise, huh.) and as someone certified to teach English Literature I can tell you that the written word is too often subject to many interpretations that were never intended but the reader may feel are implied (look at scholarly "interpretations" of Shakespeare's works for example).

So, bottom line is although I have what I think 98% of the time is the best job in the world, there are those times that I really hate doing what I do nine months out of the year.  This usually comes about three times a year when I have to post the cast lists for the shows we produce at Syosset High School.  I have been at it for 14 years now and that means 41 times I have been part of a process that by its very nature hurts the feeligns of some of the most incredible young people you would ever want to have the good fortune to meet.  These students are passionate, creative, intelligent (mostly), talented, energetic and they always challenge me to be a better director.  However, I hate more than anything the thing that causes them pain and the fact that I am the instrument (or at least the wielder of the instrument) that causes that pain usually means I don't sleep for at least a week before the cast list goes up and the day the list goes up I am miserable.

Of course, those young people who have not been cast in the roles that had hope for don't care about that.  They are dealing with their own pain and they really could care less that I agonize over all the decision, constantly second guessing each decision.  I have colleagues (and as I now understand it a fair number of parents) who feel I only cast in a spirit of nepotism and cast my "favorites", my ACT kids - talent and ability be damned.  For this I gave up a successful career as a performer myself? 

But on the flip side, when the show is finished and they all were amazing and worked up to their potential everyone is happy with what they had done.  I sure hope it is that way with this show because this one tore me up more than any casting has done in a long time.  The entire ride into work today - YES I RODE IN 23 DEGREE WEATHER, 15 DEGREES WITH THE WIND CHILL - all I could think of was how this was going to effect some of the kids and how upset they would be.  I thought of past casting decisions I had made where there were tears and pain caused by my typed words and I started to cry because invariably it would happen again.  Some of the more cynical among my colleagues just brush it off and say, "the kids have to learn somewhere."  In my mind, they have the real grind of the business to do that for them.  The percentage of actors who "make it" is small, only about 6% of Equity members make more than $75,000 a year!  But I, like these young ones, did it for a very long time not because of the money, but because I loved it more than anything else.   But that doesn't make them (or me) feel any better now when they are in pain.

In my adoptive home state of Texas (click here to go to the official website) there is a phrase, "putting out forest fires".  Yes, I said adoptive because for those of you who don't know the entire Connor migration story (and no Heather Burian, I wasn't born on the side of a volcano in Germany) - I was born in Columbus, SC and moved to Gastonia, NC then to Monterrey, CA then to Augusta, GA then to Germany (you can check my facebook friends if you need proof) then to Texas!  (and no, contrary to popular belief, they can't REALLY secede from the United States - much as some would wish we would)

(It's like a whole 'nother country!"

Anyhoo, the phrase "putting out forest fires" in the Texas vernacular means dealing with lots of little issues that if left unchecked could turn into full fledged conflagarations;


Tomorrow I will try to talk to my wonderful students and explain that its nothing they did wrong, and I'm not trying to punish them but its just that they might not have been the best person for a particular role.  Its the least I can do to try to help them realize its not them, its the nature of what we do.  Perhaps if a casting director or two would have taken the time with me I wouldn't have gotten so discouraged with the business and I would still be performing like a few (only a handful actually) of my friends who still are doing it.  But I do want my young charges to know that I do feel their pain and I do feel for them - even if they don't believe it.

So tomorrow I'm going to ride in again.  My colleagues think I'm crazy and they think I've got a death wish.  Again, I just explain that if I am going to ride cross country in all conditions and try to do it in 64 days, I can't let little things like wind, rain or possible hail deter me (gee, remember when the US Postal service wouldn't let it deter THEM?).  Yes, its cold but you layer, and layer, and layer and before you know it, you're sweating even though the wind chill is 8 degrees.

Okay, no great music in this post, sorry.  I'll try to get some in tomorrow's posting.  For now, if you are one of my young thespians past or present, I'm sorry for any pain I ever caused you because of this heinous process known as casting.  It was never deliberate and it was never meant to hurt you.

Okay, my friends (c,mon someone comment so I know you're out there) I WILL  see you on the road!

Frozen Stay Puft Cyclist

Today I decided that I'd had enough of this bronchial infection/chest cold/head cold/whatever-the-heck is keeping me from being able to take a deep breath without hacking up a lung and I was going to get on my bicycle and ride, damn it!

	Queen - Bicycle Race .mp3
	Found at bee mp3 search engine

So I get up at 5:30 and I put on the coffee ('cause I know I'm REALLY gonna need it!) and went down into my man cave (okay it's really more of a man corner) in the basement and prepped Black Pearl for the ride.  Then I took her outside and if I didn't hear the voice of Morgan Freeman/James Earl Jones I'm not sure what it was because it was deep and melodious and it was asking me if I was sure about this.  Let me just say IT WAS COLD!!!!!!  But I have so often done in the past, I remembered one of the main I reason is for those who can't becuase they are fighting a disease that has rendered them unable to jump/run/play the way other kids can.  So I gathered my things and got myself ready to girt (yes, a nice biblical way to say that) myself for the cold.  I kissed the wife and James goodbye and stepped outside.  Even with the three layers and the baclava that made my look like a two-wheeled Ninja it was COOOOOOOLLLLLLLLDDDDDDDD!!!!!!

But there is also another reason I needed to ride today.  You see my friends when I feel the need to feel my emotions (harken it back to the state of flow I mentioned in my last post) I ride.  I rode when David died.  I rode when my Aunt Janice died.  I ride when I'm frustrated (which I have to tell you I've been very frustrated lately but that's due to work issues and not personal ones) and I ride when I feel powerless.  Right now I'm feeling very frustrated, angry and powerless because someone who I think of as one of the most amazing people in the world (even if she doesn't know I think it) is facing this damn disease again.  My friend Dana Lewis is an incredible and amazing person.  I met her while I was still performing and I was always struck by what an amazing performer she was and what a brilliant choreographer she was.  One of my biggest regrets about leaving the business was that I never had the opportunity to dance for this incredible woman.

We recently go the news that this amazing dancer is once again fighting cancer.  She has been through it before and beat the damn thing and we've been praying that it would stay in remission.  Although I don't know all the details, I DO know that she has a small tumor lying on a lymph node on the right side of her pelvis.  When she e-mailed us four days ago she thought she might have to have surgery yesterday but as it turns out she couldn't because of the placement of the tumor so she's going to have to go through treatment.  Dana, if by chance you do read this - today was for you, darlin'.

So thinking mainly about my friend I just decided to suck it up and stop complaining because its nothing compared to what she's dealing with.  So I headed out and I froze.  I won't go into all the gory details, just know that I couldn't feel my fingers and I couldn't feel my toes and not in the good way indicated in this classic;

	Various - PGSORM & Marky Ramone & Tyson Ritter of the All American Rejects / I Want to Be Sedated .mp3
	Found at bee mp3 search engine

But I will tell you I definitely felt like I wanted to be when I got to school.  The wind was gusting right across my beam (that's thrown in for all you nautical folk) and it was extremely slow gowing.  I had hoped when I arrived that one of the kids would be around with their smart phones so I could have them take a picture of the Weather Channel.com's display of the current temperature in Syosset when I arrived.  Well at 7:42 AM this is what it said;

Today's Forecast: Partly Cloudy Scattered Flurries Clouds Early / Clearing Late
Currently:  Partly Cloudy
Current Temperature: 23°F
Wind Chill:  Feels Like: 8°
Wind:  From WNW at 19mph gusting to 25mph
Farmingdale, Republic Airport
Lat: 40.73 Lon: -73.41 Elev: 85
Last Update on Dec 15, 6:53 am EST

So, needless to say when I arrived I felt like my carbonite friend above.  BRRRRRR.  It took me about two periods to completely thaw out.  The rest of the day actually went great because once I thawed out I was incredibly energized by finally being able to physically do something!  But ninth period rolled around and I had to spend 15 minutes getting my cycling gear ready (and adjusting the brake that had been rubbing the entire ride this morning - yet another thing that slowed me down!).  So I get all dressed and I get ready to go and I check the WeatherChannel.com website and here's what it read when I left the school:

Today's Forecast: Scattered flurries. Partly sunny, with a high near
Currently:  Mostly Cloudy / Windy

Current Temperature: 26°F
Wind Chill:  Feels Like 12°
Wind: From WNW at 23mph gusting to 29mph
Farmingdale, Republic Airport

Lat: 40.73 Lon: -73.41 Elev: 85
Last Update on Dec 15, 1:53 pm EST

Yep, that was fun! And even though it was an entire three degrees higher it still left me feeling numb and unable to form coherent thought.  But the good news was I HAD A TAILWIND!  Nevertheless, it still had me feeling a bit like this;

But I made it home without losing any appendages to frost bite so I guess it was a good time after all.  You know, a sucky day on a bike is better than a good day on the golf course, or something like that.

But as I pulled up the last hill on the way to Northport I thought once again of my friend Dana and I realized that THIS is why I ride, to feel like in some small way I'm helping them in their fight - the cold be damned!

So, tomorrow I'll probably go out again on my bike (we're going to have a veritable heat wave of 35 degrees) and I'll think of Dana, I'll think of Stanley Cherry and all the kids of Sunrise Day Camp and I'll do my best to remember that they have it so much worse than my discomfiture of 45 minutes.

Stay well my friends and I'll see you on the frozen road.

An Act of God

So those of you who have followed my blog know that I have a somewhat curious relationship with God.  I believe in him utterly and completely but there have been times that there is no doubt I have made God laugh becuase of my presumptiveness.  Now, I don't believe in a vengeful God that likes to mess with us just out of principle but I do think it is a mistake to tempt him and I know I have suffered the wrath of said deity as a result.

I do converse with him on a daily basis yet I have to admit that I have not heard him speak back in the voice of Morgan Freeman;


That would be; a) incredibly awesome and b) far too easy -  at least according to those philosphers such as Immanuel Kant, Frederik Nietzsche, Friedrich Hegel,  Rene Descartes, or Socrates (read all about them here) or if you need the shorter, quicker movie version;



Well, with all due respect to Mr. Descartes, I don't believe I exist because I think, I exist becasue I ride;

It is when I am on my bicycle that I can ultimately reach that meditative state of flow or as one writer puts it, "the mental state of operation in which a person in an activity is fully immersed in a feeling of energized focus, full involvement, and success in the process of the activity."  For me this is through my riding and while riding I often reflect about the many things going on in my life.  Sometimes I even hear the dulcet tones of James Earl Jones quoting biblical verse:

But more often the sounds I hear are my own labored breathing as I go up Stilwell Lane.  And on a day like today it would not be pretty.

Well, speaking of today I was all set to go bike riding and I had set out all my gear last night, lubed my chain, adjusted my brakes and pretty much set everything up so that I could get a good early start in the morning since I knew I needed to go and confer with my colleagues about casting our spring musical Bye Bye Birdie.

However upon waking I realized that the congestion in my chest was had not cleared up and there was no way in the cold weather I was going to be able to breathe what with my cold induced asthma on top of whatever was going on in my chest.  So I drove in - AND A LUCKY THING I DID TOO!

For you see, faithful readers a radiator pipe had burst outside the Little Theater about 6:30 in the morning and flooded the hall, the student government office, the psychiatrist's office, the Little Theater AND THE COSTUME CLOSET where we house hundreds of costume pieces and various accessories!  When I first drove up I didn't know what to think since there was CAUTION ribbon strung up everywhere and I peeked in the window and saw all the costume closet contents out in the hall.  So I ran around to the other entrance expecting the worst!

Long story short, I was able to save almost everything and I'm so grateful to Charles Abner, Tim Horace and all the rest of the maintenance and custodial staffs for getting everything out and mopping up as much as they could so quickly.  I was able to get about 150 costumes that had been soaked out of the costume shop and into my car and off to the dry cleaners!  Of course this took me almost the entire day to do so there was no conferring about casting with colleagues - however we were able to save a couple of thousand dollars worth of costumes.  So for once, everything aligned FOR me for a change. 

So today, instead of being frustrated about not riding and how I need to start training very hard and getting myself used to riding in all conditions to "stiffen the sinews and summon up the blood" for the charge ahead, it was most fortuitous that I headed my body and drove - otherwise, I NEVER would have gotten all of those costumes home on my bike!

Don't get me wrong, I'm still working on getting sponsors for our cross country ride and I'm praying/conversing/communing with God every single day praying for miracles and hoping that sponsors will come forward - and I do most all of this while I'm riding my bike. 

So next week its supposed to be REALLY cold but I plan on riding.  I have my Madonna del Ghisallo medallion and I will keep communing with the big guy (God, not JEJ) while praying and hoping that someone will come forward and help us out.

Stay well everyone and I WILL see you on the road.

Stay Puft Cyclist

Okay so I am definitely feeling the extra weight around my waist today.  Becuase of a chest cold that I've been trying to fight off I haven't ridden or taught dance class all week and it's driving me crazy.  I really started the week out with the goal of riding a lot since I'm only about 300 miles away from reaching my personal goal of 3,000 miles for this calendar year.

HOWEVER, we all know from past experience (at least MY past experience) the surest way to make God laugh is to go ahead and make those plans.  Soooo, I'm sufferince for my impertinent irreverence and I think I've gained a good five pounds of "I haven't been getting out and riding to work" weight.  At least its not as bad as the "I've been consuming 3,000 calories at a sitting and drinking a six pack every night" weight.  If that were the case I'd probably look like this;

Sooo, I think I'll just plan on getting back on the bike on Monday. 

In the meantime I'm headed off to Philajerseyia to attend the first birthday party of my niece Annika who was born a year ago to my sister Angela.  Because of cancer research she was able to recover from her battle with cervical cancer and now she has a beautiful baby girl to show for all of her struggles.  The whole family is healthy and I'll get to see my mom and dad and my sister Alina as well - I'll just try to take it easy on the bulgogi while I'm there!

Okay my friends, this one was short and sweet but I hope to have a longer one for you next week - after I'm able to get out and ride some more.

Stay well and I'll see you on the road!

365 Days of Christmas....uh, Chanukah......uh, Chrismukkah!

Okay, I admit it - I'm a big wuss!  Maybe its my Irish sentimentality or its just becuase I love the holidays but I always get very teary-eyed around this time of year.  Of course, it may also be because my usual temperature cutoff for riding is 15 degrees and it is often very cold so you see me doing this on occasion;



(Brakes, we don't need no stinkin' brakes!)

 That in itself is enough to cause you to tear up - that wind can be downright brutal!  I mean, I know my cycling compatriots in Minnesota live with it constanly but we're not so hardened to the elements out here.

But I think I mainly tear up because I love watching the holidays through my children's eyes.  I do love the season and I think my wife (the little Long Island Jewish girl) probably loves Christmas the most out of the family.  She decorates the house in such an amazing way and it always looks so festive when she does it.  She has the decoration down to a science and, I dare say, an art.  She is always so organized with all that she does and usually by the first night of Channukah, she has all of her present shopping finished for the entire season. 

This year we had our friends Carla and Rita over with their sons Sean and David for the first night of Channukah last Wednesday (and yes, I know I'm a bit behind but then I wouldn't have all this great material!).  She spent the day making about three pounds of potatoes worth of latkes and we all had an incredibly wonderful feast of fried tuber goodness.  After that we played the traditional Connor family game of "find the Channukah present" and the kids received what they proclaimed to be "THE BEST CHANUKKAH PRESENT EVA!!!!!";

Now, I don't know if its the best EVA, but it was a lot of fun.  And to think we still have almost the entire roll of bubble wrap!  I can already see many snowy days full of fun as we sweat to pop every last bubble on the wrap!

But the real treat so far this holiday season (and its only just begun) was this weekend.  We had a WEEKEND OF CHRISTMAS to start the Christian part of the season.  On Friday Amy decorated the house while we were all off at school (and a fabulous job she did at that).  We came home to find all the old familiar decoration up around the house and it was just the thing to get us in the holiday spirit.  We had a family movie night that night and we started the fire.

On Saturday we started the part of decorating that the kids had been waiting for - THE TREE!!!!!  Every year we choose a theme and this year the theme was silver and white.   We drank copious amounts of egg nog, played Celtic Christmas CDs and decorated the tree.  We managed to only break one ornament!!!!!  We then lit another roaring fire and enjoyed watching the movie Deck the Halls with Danny DeVito, Matthew Broderick and Kristin Chenowith.  As much as I don't really like her, it was an entertaining movie.  Oh yes, we also (okay the family, since with my braces I still can't) ate copious amounts of fresh, home made pop corn.

Then it was off early Sunday morning to catch the 11:30 Radio City Music Hall Christmas show starring the world famous Rockettes!  The ride in was easy and we listened to 97.5 FM which broadcasts all holiday music all the time now - 24/7 (or as Jake from "Too Many Men" would say - "31!")  The traffic wasn't too bad but we got into the city so early, none of the street vendors had warm chestnuts ready -- arrrgggghhhh.  So much for "The Christmas Song"!

We got into the hall and watching the kids be so amazed and intrigued by the decorations and the sheer expanse of the lobby was so much fun to watch.  Especially Sarah, our decorator/artist in training.  She really enjoyed all the paintings and the huge mural of "The Fountain of Youth" that is above the stair case.

We finally settled into our seats after cooling our heels for a bit outside and it wasn't long before we were able to watch the show.  I have to say I had almost as much fun watching the show as the kids (and it brought back memories of going to the dress rehearsal to watch Deanna and all our other friends who were lucky enough to be cast in the show back when we were still active in the business).  William's all time favorite number was of course;

Go figure, pretty girls, "soldiers", wooden cannon - what was not to love?  This is of course from the boy who didn't want to go to see the Christmas show - but then again he hardly ever wants to see or go anywhere and then when he does he always says, "I didn't like it ---- I LOVED IT!" and of course this was no different.

But the number I hardly saw at all because I was watching William completely enthralled to the point that I wasn't sure he was even breathing was:

I truly teared up as I saw the look of rapture on his face the entire time this number was on.  He looked simply angelic and the look on his face was one of pure adulation for what he was seeing.  All I could think of was, "this is what Christmas is all about!"   Sure, we can go to mass and sing the songs and listen to the story of the baby Jesus, but it is these moments when we see our child really GET it that we know what the season is truly about.  And it made me think - this is what we need - 365 DAYS OF CHRISMAKKUH!  If every day could just be about this magic and this joy and helping make sure that our children's eyes are as full of this wonder and joy as we can help them find in the world around them.

After the show we wandered around looking for lunch and finally settled on Lindy's where we had great pastrami sandwiches and of course, the cheesecake.  We then headed back the Radio City for a backstage tour where we got to go all over, including up to the light booth to see the show from the highest vantage point.  It was a little weird being up there since that's the floor where all the rehearsal studios are housed and Amy and I both have so many memories of auditioning for various shows (not just RCMH) there.  It was a little weird.

Following that great tour (William was in heaven as he had his picture taken with a real Rockette) we finally got our roasted chestnuts and we headed for;

(So this is Christmas)

We managed to weave our way through the crowds so the kids did not see the tree until we came upon it from the front and the kids' faces were a joy to watch as they screamed, "THE TREEEEEE, I KNEW IT!!!!!!).  The only problem that we ran into (other than the crushing crowds and three members of our party under three foot tall) was that right before we got to where we could take a great picture of the kids with the tree as the background we ran into;

Now if anything is going to detract three Connor children from a huge Christmas tree it would be that.  Soooooo, we allowed ourselves to be swept into the revolving door

And we were instantly transported into a magical (although crowded) land of legos.  It was all we could do to dissuade the young Connor's from purchasing more Lego products (they have a ton and I'm sure Santa will bring them more) but their little faces were pressed against the glass as they saw this;

The squeals of delight could probably be heard by the dogs in the Hamptons!  Finally we were able to get a good photo of the three of them with the tree in the background and we headed back to the car.  On the way we heard two songs that really help bring this Chrismakkuh weekend to a great ending.  The first I'll include the video version for those of you who have never heard it;

Of course you can tell the song is dated by the celebs to whom it makes reference - but its still funny!

The second song was even more poignant when teamed up with all that the day had offered and it goes something like this;

	Gloria Estefan - Christmas through your eyes .mp3
	Found at bee mp3 search engine

But the perfect ending to a perfect Christmas day was driving back to the vision of our home decorated for the holidays, all lit up and welcoming.  And the season has only just begun! 

But the day also reminded me of why I want to ride cross country.  Just as Chrismakkuh is a great season for the kids to experience, so is the summer and the joy of playing and being a kid during this long vacation.  I really do want to make a difference for these kids and I'm hoping for my own Chrismakkuh miracle - for some more sponsors to step forward and offer to help us help these kids!  That would be the greatest gift of all!

Stay well and I will see you all on the road!

I Even Rode My (Bi)cycle In the Rain.......You MAY Be Right, I May Be Crazy!

Okay, so it wasn't quite as heavy a rain as that yesterday but it was raining hard and the fact that I had left school at 4:10 meant that by the time I got to Huntington Station it was quickly getting dark.  By the time I got to Lennox Avenue and Pulaski (yes, the memorable intersection where I experienced my first time being hit by a car while cycling) it was pretty dark and I was lamenting the fact that I had not used the second headlight on the bike.  Instead I was relying on the blinking light on the front and two blinking lights on the back - just to be seen.  And the whole time I'm thinking, "I must be out of my freakin' mind".

Now you have to understand, I'm not a native Long Islander and I did not grow up listening to Billy Joel.  I really only like his music at all because of the show Movin' Out and that was really because of the Twyla Tharp choreography.  However, as I found myself pedaling along in the dark, in the rain and hoping some overtired executive hurrying home from the train station while texting/calling/fumbling/"curating" his/her cell phone would not hit me and kill me by swerving into the shoulder, I kept hearing this song over and over in my head;

	Billy Joel - You May Be Right .mp3
	Found at bee mp3 search engine

It's not that I actively hate Billy Joel, I just don't get the whole East End ethos and the whole Long Island music scene he developed from just doesn't strike any chord with me (pun intended).

However, if I had seen this before, another song might have been running through my head, one that I saw performed by the "amazing" performers in this "incredible" (note the air quotes) video;



All I can say is that I wish I had choreographed this one!  Just imagine getting all those everyday cycling types to wear white, glow in the dark "booty" shorts!  I think I'll pass on wearing those myself, I'm more partial to black ones myself.  But they do shine mighty nicely don't they.  However, I do still have a few nightmares after seeing this video.

Speaking of music videos about bicycles and cycling, I did come across this great video while reading the blog of the Bike Snob at http://www.bikesnobnyc@blogspot.com/ and it just goes to prove that rap music can help save your life;

Now that is proof that music can make a difference.  I have to say that after my three experiences with bicycle versus vehicle I won't ride without one, I'm actually incredibly amazed when I see adult cyclists without helmets.  Is it uncool to wear helmets?  I know it is with the hipster crowd but are the typical suburban "hobbyists" too cool to wear helmets?  It would appear so.

Another thing that still amazes me are the unfriendly cyclists I still meet when I'm riding.  Now granted, I have taken to riding Pearl these days more and more.  Partially becuase she is the one that I'm hoping to ride from San Diego to Long Island should (I pray to God) the cross country ride actually get the funding we need.  She looks a little less like a cyclocross bike now and I've "winterized" her and "blinged" her out commuter style with a rack and I've put on her Planet Bike fenders so that she looks more like this;

So does that make me uncool?  I guess it does because with the exception of the usual day laborers that I meet on the road (and who usually seemed surprised that this commuter waves to them) nobody returns my gestures of friendliness.  Well not "nobody" there are the occasional one or two but when I see my fellow "roadies" going the other way they seem to studiously not see me.  That's just sad.  I mean here we are fighting the fight together - you know, us against the ton and a half metal beasts that want to hit us - and they don't want to acknowledge their fellow enthusiast.  I guess they're still cooler than me!

Well, I guess that's enough rambling for one day.  My wife would have said not to try it but I made it home alive and that's all part of the fun!  Now if I can only make it home alive from San Diego, CA (sponsorships willing) then I'll be a very happy man - and a very blessed one as well!

Stay well, Pearl (or Betty) and I will see you on the road - soon!