Far Too Long - The Long and Winding Road

So all I can say is I'm sorry!  Looking at my blog I see that June 8th was the last time I wrote anything.  Tha'ts not to say that so much hasn't been swirling in my head, its just finding the time to sit down and put it down on paper, er, cyberspace.  I think part of my issue is that I feel like EVERYTHING I write has to be meaningful when in reality the purpose of this blog is not to provide enlightenment but rather information.  This blog was really conceived as a way to keep those of you who support Connor's Army updated on how things are going with our various fundraising efforts in fighting cancer.  Somewhere along the journey I got it into my head that if I wasn't scintillating or incredibly entertaining people would read my blog.  I think in the last few days I've realized that although we only have 52 OFFICIAL followers (and you incredibly special people know who you are), chances are there are many more people who do follow our blog (or at least did) and just didn't sign up.  Maybe some of you check periodically but have seen that nothing much has been going on.
Well, that is all going to change today.  First of all, A LOT has been going on in the last six weeks.  Too much to put all into one large blog entry so I'll break it up in installments as the days/weeks go on.  If you are new to our reading this blog, you can catch up on where we are by reading some of the older postings.  There are a lot (though not as many for 2011 as I really should have) and they can really tell you a lot about who we are and where we've come from.

Secondly, you can now sign up to be notified by e-mail whenever a new entry goes up so you don't have to keep wasting your time checking back to see if there is a new update - but of course, if that has been your personal cure for insomnia, I don't want to deprive you of that simply joy.  Speaking of which, here is a nice recording of it for those of you who missed it when I posted it before;

	Beautiful Small Machines - Simple Joys - MASTERED .mp3
	Found at bee mp3 search engine

A little electronica remix by the group Beautiful Small Machines - check them out if you've never heard of them at their website.  They describe themselves thusly on their myspace.com profile;

Beautiful Small Machines may be synthetic, but they’re not stupid. Caught somewhere between the 70’s, 80’s and deep space, this electro-pop duo (Bree Sharp, Don DiLego) learned about comedy from adult swim and heartache from Philip K. Dick and they’re spewing it all back out at you like a bunch of mandroids on whiskey and psycho-pharmaceuticals. Fun, Sad, Creepy and Clever – Beautiful Small Machines is the retro-future.

But I digress - which, if you've followed my blog is not that uncommon - my friend Danielle and I (actually she's a former student whose become a family friend now) usually go into these long rambling stream-of-consciousness correspondences so I think I've discovered that my brain just works that way - I make connections and my mind follows.  It might be a Gemini thing, I'm not sure.

Anyway, back to the point.  An incredible amount of exciting things have happened in the Connor household since my last blog entry.  The first is that (as it is for most everyone) it is summer vacation!!!!!!!  Now I love my job and I think I'm one of the luckiest people in the world to be able to do what I do with students who are so passionate about creating art and to be able to raise a family doing it.  But I do enjoy the (only slightly) more laid back pace of summer.  I don't have to worry about attendance or schedules or grades - I can just enjoy the days.

Now, my enjoying the days is different than someone elses.  Of course, given my own devices I would be either riding my bike all day or reading (right now I'm rereading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows in preparation to see the last movie and in case you - like me - are wondering why Tobuscus hasn't done a parody of the trailer yet, here is a fairly good substitute).  Or watching movies like this one;




But I am fortunate in that I do have a great job for the summer as well - one that rejuvenates me and reminds me what life is all about - working at Sunrise Day Camp!  To see the difference this camp makes in the lives of these campers is truly a humbling experience.  This year is a little different in that I'm only teaching drama instead of dance and drama but in doing so, I work with EVERY single camper in the entire camp from ages 3 1/2 (the Acorns) to 16 (the CIT group) and to see these kids have fun with drama and see them create and play really reminds me of why I do what I do during the year!  It makes next summer even more important.

And the second reason for the title of this blog now becomes clear - it is going to be far too long before we get on the road!  It will be a long and winding road to get to where we need to go and I appreciate all of you that have supported us.

For those of you new to reading this blog, we have had a few "missions" over the years since Connor's Army was created.  We've raised $13,000 for The American Cancer Society, we've held a few Victory Rides (the most recent one to benefit Sunrise Day Camp) and we've even enlisted Sarah to help in our efforts.

Our latest mission is our most important one yet - we are going to raise $50,000 for Sunrise!  It won't be easy and we still have a lot of underwriting sponsorship we need to procure to make it completely happen but we're well on our way.  We have some supportive sponsors already, we have 780 followers on our facebook page (yes, you can click on the blue to add us to your likes or just click on the button in the upper right of the page), and today we just had our first article in a national bicycling magazine - Bicycle Times.  They are now one of our sponsors and we're hoping to reach even more sponsors now.

Why "far too long"?  Because as of right now we are not scheduled to leave San Diego until June 23rd, 2012.  Its a long way off and there is lots of work to be done but part of me can't wait to get started with the riding.  This past year we lost three of our Sunrise campers to this damnable disease.  I've lost another couple of friends to the disease and one of my colleagues, Jeff Rozran, is now fighting his own battle with lung cancer.  This journey cannot begin soon enough for with every pedal stroke I'll be fighting this disease for my family, my friends, my colleagues and my campers.

We have a little less than a year now and we still need sponsors.  We keep hoping that a few more "angels" will step forward and offer to help us.  Its become very frustrating becasue we keep reaching out to various businesses but we never receive an answer.  Not even a "no" just silence.  And although the sound of silence can sometimes be a wonderful thing and can help you reach that state of inner peace;



(Everybody say Ommmm)

or maybe yours looks more like this;

(Everybody say Kung Fu Panda)

However, the sound of silence has not brought any inner peace to us.  It has really perplexed us and left us wondering what we have to do to find the truth of the matter is that we need help to be able to make this happen.  If any of you reading this have any ideas, let us know as we are willing to try any angle to help us raise the funds we need to make this happen.  We know that now we are starting to make the PR connections the donations to the camp can start to flow into the camp.  Our hope is that people will see what we are trying to do and will open their hearts and their purses to these children.  I mean, if we could raise $12,000 with me just commuting 2,000 miles in an entire year, we should be able to generate $50,000 for me doing the same thing in just 70 days.  But we need to find an angel (or two).

	Thrice - Send Me An Angel .mp3
	Found at bee mp3 search engine

And that is part of why this is far too long.  The mileage doesn't bother me - I know we can do it.  I just want us to get started, to get started in fight and to get these campers the funds that will make an incredible summer possible for them.

And now one last song to get us all in the mood.  Every day as they cross the camp, a group of campers called the Timon Boys sing their own version of a classic Queen song, "We Will Rock You".  Instead of "We will" they sing "Timon Boys" will rock you!  So bear that in mind as you listen to an oldie but goodie;

	Queen - We Will Rock You .mp3
	Found at bee mp3 search engine

Stay well and I'll see you on the road (and in this blog MUCH more often)!

Viewing the World through a Meisnerian Approach

Sanford Meisner (1905 - 1997)

Disclaimer:  Okay, so I know I said I was going to try to update this blog a bit more but life keeps getting in the way.  As of right now I have two other blog entries that are as of yet unfinished that I hope to finish in the next day or so and then I'll post those as well.  In the meantime, I really wanted to get this "Eureka" moment out to all (52) of my followers.  Of course, if you want to invite YOUR friends to follow that would be great!

And now on to our (ir)regularly scheduled blog:

For those of you who don't know, the gentleman in the photo above is Sanford Meisner one of the pioneers of American theatre. 

For Meisner, acting was about reproducing honest emotional human reactions. He felt the actor’s job was simply to prepare for an experiment that would take place on stage. The best acting, he believed, was made up of spontaneous responses to the actor’s immediate surroundings. Meisner explained that his approach was designed "to eliminate all intellectuality from the actor’s instrument and to make him a spontaneous responder to where he is, what is happening to him, what is being done to him."

The primary tool Meisner employed in preparing his students was spontaneous repetition. Among his many exercises was one in which two actors looked directly at each other and one would described a feature of the other. After this, the two actors would simply say the phrase back and forth. Because the phrases (such as, "You have soft eyes") came from a physical reality apparent to the actors, the statement retained meaning no matter how often they were repeated.

Another one of Meisner's tenets is that the foundation of acting is the reality of doing. So you may be asking yourself what exactly does that mean? The reality of doing means to actually do something not "pretend" you’re doing it. For example if you are suppose to be listening really listen not pretend to listen.  The point of the Meisner technique is to act TRUTHFULLY under imaginary circumstances. Note the word truthfully.

Meisner, of all the decendents of Stanislavski, was very focused on one of the most ignored elements of Stanislavski's system - Communion.  For Stanislavski, communion menat not only the communiction between scene partners, but between the actor and himself, and between the actor and the audience, although Meisner was most interested in it as it related to scene partners.  He realized that two actors could be in a scene, have created great characters, be playing great actions, be emotionally truthful and still fail the scene - what gives crackling energy and tension to a scene is the interaction between characters.

Okay, bear with me - it does all have to do with life, cycling and the bigger picture.

This past weekend I had the opportunity to perform in two separate productions in the space of three days.  One of them was the annual SHS dance concert in which Jessica Farina, Marisa Sanders and myself performed a pas de trois to Adele's "Someone Like You".  If you're not familiar with the song, it goes like this;



I would show you the video of us dancing but quite frankly, I hate to see myself dance.  Everyone who saw it enjoyed it but I fear that my technique ain't what it used to be (of course, not much of me is what it used to be but that's fodder for another blog).  Anyway, the story was pretty much that of the lyrics - a woman is singing about the man that used to be in her life but for whatever reason has moved on and married someone else.  The protagonist is talking about how she regrets not being with him and that she knows someone will come along and she's hoping it will be someone like him.  Pretty deep stuff for a singer/songwriter who is only 23 years old!

Despite all three of us feeling bleh about our technique it went as well as it did mainly becuase the connection we kept with each other.  I know that for myself I was acutely aware of where the other two dancer were on stage and what I had to do to adjust to partner them or to stay in unison with them.  Never mind that the only chance we had to rehearse together were stolen moments in the hall during third period, eighth period, or a few times at the end of Jessica's sixth period class.  We were able to support each other because of the connection we had developed in working on this piece.

Then we had the other performance I was involved with which was The Star Playhouse's Production of Oliver!  Unfortunately, I don't have any photos of me in the show since they were taken on opening night and I was tending to the closing night of The Laramie Project at SHS.   About the only thing I made it into was a publicity still;

(Yep, that's me in the back left tapping into my Irish roots - everyone said I made a great drunk!  I guess it was too much Strasberg training and all that sense memory work!)

But there are some great shots of the family in action.  This first is from "Food" and William and James are the little guys down front with Sarah being the third standing from left;

(Couldn't you just eat them up?)

And here they are again in "Consider Yourself"';

(Can you hear the people sing?)

And here is my lovely wife in one of her show stopping moments kicking up her heels in "Oom Pah Pah";

(I told you Gin NOT Beer!)

And finally in her heart wrenching performance of "As Long as He Needs Me";

(I could just stare at this one forever)

I would watch her every night from the wings so grateful that she was my wife, because quite frankly, I need her.  It truly was a joy to be able to watch my family perform from the on stage and wing view.  I had the chance to do that last year with Amy in A Chorus Line but it was so much fun to be able to watch the boys (and Sarah) perform in their first show from the wings - they were so good (and that's not just a proud daddy talking - they really are amazing on stage).

The only down side of the experience (aside from the long rehearsals and going over "Consider Yourself" about 200 times) was that I really didn't have a part in the show.  As a matter of fact, one of the women who I performed A Chorus Line with came to see the show (not knowing I was in it) and after the show she said, "you were in the show?" - ahh, that hurt.  However, I did learn something important in this show.  As someone who was not a role, I was left to my own devices to create a character and to create some sort of reason for being in the scene.  It was important for me to do this without resorting to the type of DelSartean tactics of my peers on stage.   I realized that I had to do exactly what I've been telling my students to do - create a connection on stage!  So, resorting back to Stanislavski's circles of attention, I kept trying to focus myself on expanding concentring rings around me to maintain contact and focus on everything around me starting with the closest environ and work my way outwards, sort of like this;

(The Serenity of Focus)

And I found that by focusing on what was around me and where I was supposed to be I was in the moment - and I was connected to my fellow actors.  Now granted, much to my chagrin I did allow myself to engage in a little theatrical tomfoolery!  When Dodger comes in and tells them that Oliver was snatched in Londonderry I usually would go off on a tangent about Lingonberries and how I loved them on pancakes, especially on the little flat ones with powdered sugar and you roll them up like my brother-in-law Per does.  Now remember we ARE supposed to be drunk and in a bar so I was also saying this in my best Jack Sparrow impersonation;

(Yes, but why is the rum gone?)

But when it was all said and done I realized that even when you're given no direction, its up to you as an artist to create that connection with your fellow actors and with the world you are creating on stage.  Without those connections you are adrift.

(WARNING!  ESOTERIC CONNECTION TO LIFE ALERT!)

And that's when I had my ephiphany that has continued to strike me through the course of this week.  Too much of the time I think many of us (okay, I know I do) go through life so focused on our our immediate needs that we forget to connect with those around us - we forget to have that communion that is so important.  We go through life "pretending" to have conversations but we're really focused on other things.  Instead of listening and responding to the information we're being given, we are already thinking about our "lines" and what we'll say when its our turn to speak.

I think this also goes for activitis and hobbies, don't pretend to do things - do them!  And that is why I now have a renewed purpose to make this cross country ride happen for the kids.  I think for too long I have liked the idea of it and hoped that somehow another "angel" like Smiles for Scott would come forward and offer to help us.  Well, I recently learned that the phrase "God helps those who help themselves" isn't really in the Bible but that doesn't mean that we shouldn't take the initiative and try to do the work on our own.  It may be that no more major "angels" come forth.  It may be that I have to go out and find a whole lot of little "angels" instead.  I know they're always watching so maybe I can get one with "training wings" (you have to forward to 7:33 to get the connection but it's really a great scene and the stadium scene always makes me cry);



The point being I have to stop "pretending" to plan this ride and actually get around to planning it.  I have the maps, I just need to get the fundraising done.  Its a long process but it means I have to get to writing more e-mails, letters, and make personal appeals to try and raise this last bit of fundage.

And on another note, a dear colleague of mine Jeff Rozran has recently been diagnosed with lung cancer.  He just found out today that it is now stage four but he is positive that he is going to beat it.  I've spent far too little time talking to Jeff.  Yes, we coment in the hall and he comes and sees the shows and gives great praise to the kids but I don't ask him enough about what is going on.  I only found out yesterday about his cancer when everyone else has known for weeks.  And its all because I get my blinders on and focus on my lines instead of really listening to what is happening around me.

So today I rode in honor of Jeff, never mind the fact that it was 92 degrees and incredibly humid.  I'll ride again tomorrow, even though its going to be hotter and more humid, because in comparison to all the pain Jeff is about to go through, it is nothing.  I will channel positive energy and strength to him with every pedal stroke I take - and I will really do it and not pretend.

Well, my vow is to now do my best to have a deeper communion with my family, my friends and with my mission to raise $50,000 for the kids of Sunrise Day Camp - and if some angels do want to help, I won't mind the divine intervention.

Stay well and I'll see you on the road.