Only You Can Prevent Forest Fires!

Okay, so normally I don't talk about work on my blog except to talk about going there and back on my bicycle.  Part of that is becuase many people I come into contact where I teach read my blog (or at least they tell me they do, I'm not really sure.  And IF you do, why in the heck haven't you encouraged other people to read it too?  IF they do, then why have they not signed up to be followers, it isn't that hard and it will show potential sponsors that their product will get exposure - but I digress, big surprise, huh.) and as someone certified to teach English Literature I can tell you that the written word is too often subject to many interpretations that were never intended but the reader may feel are implied (look at scholarly "interpretations" of Shakespeare's works for example).

So, bottom line is although I have what I think 98% of the time is the best job in the world, there are those times that I really hate doing what I do nine months out of the year.  This usually comes about three times a year when I have to post the cast lists for the shows we produce at Syosset High School.  I have been at it for 14 years now and that means 41 times I have been part of a process that by its very nature hurts the feeligns of some of the most incredible young people you would ever want to have the good fortune to meet.  These students are passionate, creative, intelligent (mostly), talented, energetic and they always challenge me to be a better director.  However, I hate more than anything the thing that causes them pain and the fact that I am the instrument (or at least the wielder of the instrument) that causes that pain usually means I don't sleep for at least a week before the cast list goes up and the day the list goes up I am miserable.

Of course, those young people who have not been cast in the roles that had hope for don't care about that.  They are dealing with their own pain and they really could care less that I agonize over all the decision, constantly second guessing each decision.  I have colleagues (and as I now understand it a fair number of parents) who feel I only cast in a spirit of nepotism and cast my "favorites", my ACT kids - talent and ability be damned.  For this I gave up a successful career as a performer myself? 

But on the flip side, when the show is finished and they all were amazing and worked up to their potential everyone is happy with what they had done.  I sure hope it is that way with this show because this one tore me up more than any casting has done in a long time.  The entire ride into work today - YES I RODE IN 23 DEGREE WEATHER, 15 DEGREES WITH THE WIND CHILL - all I could think of was how this was going to effect some of the kids and how upset they would be.  I thought of past casting decisions I had made where there were tears and pain caused by my typed words and I started to cry because invariably it would happen again.  Some of the more cynical among my colleagues just brush it off and say, "the kids have to learn somewhere."  In my mind, they have the real grind of the business to do that for them.  The percentage of actors who "make it" is small, only about 6% of Equity members make more than $75,000 a year!  But I, like these young ones, did it for a very long time not because of the money, but because I loved it more than anything else.   But that doesn't make them (or me) feel any better now when they are in pain.

In my adoptive home state of Texas (click here to go to the official website) there is a phrase, "putting out forest fires".  Yes, I said adoptive because for those of you who don't know the entire Connor migration story (and no Heather Burian, I wasn't born on the side of a volcano in Germany) - I was born in Columbus, SC and moved to Gastonia, NC then to Monterrey, CA then to Augusta, GA then to Germany (you can check my facebook friends if you need proof) then to Texas!  (and no, contrary to popular belief, they can't REALLY secede from the United States - much as some would wish we would)

(It's like a whole 'nother country!"

Anyhoo, the phrase "putting out forest fires" in the Texas vernacular means dealing with lots of little issues that if left unchecked could turn into full fledged conflagarations;


Tomorrow I will try to talk to my wonderful students and explain that its nothing they did wrong, and I'm not trying to punish them but its just that they might not have been the best person for a particular role.  Its the least I can do to try to help them realize its not them, its the nature of what we do.  Perhaps if a casting director or two would have taken the time with me I wouldn't have gotten so discouraged with the business and I would still be performing like a few (only a handful actually) of my friends who still are doing it.  But I do want my young charges to know that I do feel their pain and I do feel for them - even if they don't believe it.

So tomorrow I'm going to ride in again.  My colleagues think I'm crazy and they think I've got a death wish.  Again, I just explain that if I am going to ride cross country in all conditions and try to do it in 64 days, I can't let little things like wind, rain or possible hail deter me (gee, remember when the US Postal service wouldn't let it deter THEM?).  Yes, its cold but you layer, and layer, and layer and before you know it, you're sweating even though the wind chill is 8 degrees.

Okay, no great music in this post, sorry.  I'll try to get some in tomorrow's posting.  For now, if you are one of my young thespians past or present, I'm sorry for any pain I ever caused you because of this heinous process known as casting.  It was never deliberate and it was never meant to hurt you.

Okay, my friends (c,mon someone comment so I know you're out there) I WILL  see you on the road!