A Year in the Life!

 

 

Back in the mid-80's there was a TV miniseries called A Year in the Life which followed the various members of the Gardner family of Seattle during the course of one year. The major event of that year was the sudden and unexpected death of wife and mother Ruth Gardner.  Now I can't say I personally ever watched the show because I was at teh time an "older than average" student (I was 23 and a sophomore) trying to get myself back into the academic swing.  I was totally out of it, in the six years since I had graduated from C.E. Ellison I had accumulated an A.A. in Communications and had completed an acting course at the National Shakespeare Conservatory but getting back into the academic grind, plust tring to keep up with the demands of being a dance performance major, plus working a part-time job to pay the bills didn't really leave me with a lot of TV watching time.  I did have some house mates who were into the show and they seemed to really get into the trials and tribulations of this Seattle family.

 

But what does all of this have to do with me, you faithful (and sometimes happenstance) readers and Connor's Army?  A year ago today my family and I dipped our rear wheels in the Pacific Ocean, pointed our bikes eastward and began the first of 46 days of pedaling across America in the hopes of raising money to send as many campers as we could to Sunrise Day Camp.  It was midway through the seven miles of an average gradient of 6% climb that I wondered whether I was going to make it the next 3,000 + miles.  That first day I lost contact with the support team (my family) on the way to Pine Valley adn I was really thinking I might have bitten off more than I could chew - that I would let down the camp, my family and myself.  I won't go into all the details of what kept me motivated to go in this post - those of you who have followed us know the answer to that and those of you who don't know what would motivate a family of five to spend the summer slowly traversing the country stuffed into a mini van are welcoe to read all the other entries at www.connorsarmy.blogspot.com.  I sometimes go back and read those pre-ride entries and realize that I had no freaking clue what I was getting myself into.

 

On that very first day a year ago I was slapped in the face with the cold (or rather really, really, really hot) reality of what was happening.  Although that first ride was only 45 milesit was a wake up call that this was not going to be easy.  It was exhilirating and exhausting all at that same time.  During the summer that would follow I would have days when I wanted to throw my bike down and give up; where I would find road companions and experience a moment that was so incredibly special it is indelibly etched in my mind.  I learned so much about my children , had some incrediblye bonding moments with them and truly learned that without my wife I would be nothing.  Her love and supported sustained me across the deserts, the mountains, the prairies and the scary state that is New Jersey.  I will never be able to express to her how much I am grateful to her for all she has done for me.

And now a year later it all seems like a dream.  Not a day goes by when I don't have a flashback of some amazing sight I saw along the 3713 miles of my journey.  Some I was able to record on video;

while others are forever installed in my brain like the view from the top of Mesa Verda or the view from the Blueridge Parkway;

I won't lie, I really wish I was on my bike again.  For two years I had a purpose, a goal, a reason to gete on my bike and log the miles in all kinds of weather.  I was pedaling for those who couldn't - the adults, the kids, those for whom cancer was a personaly enemey, not just an abstract word with negative connotations.  Their stories and faces are what drove me to continue to push through the pain and through the discomfort because it was nothing compared to what they were going through.  But as I've written in the past we're now a year away from that life-changing experience and I've been feeling adrift every since we returned.

Yes, there was the horror of what we found as we came back and we threw ourselves into getting ourselves back into "civilian" mode.  But now it's a year later and we have found ourselves slouching back into the old familiar dance.  The year at Syosset was full of ups and downs as the program continues to grow but the casting conflicts once agan created division in the ranks and left me feeling battered, loathed and unappreciated.  A huge let down after feelign I had made a real difference in the world last summer.

In an endeavor to continue making a difference I joined the Northport Fire Department this past December.  It's something I've been wanting to do for a very long time because of various emergencies that have happened in our lives.  I never want to ever be in a situation again where its an emergency and I don't know what to do or how I can help.  Of course, I had to wait until I finished my Master's and until the Ride Across America was finished.  In the six months since I started I've been on many rescue squad calls, I've been trained to drive the ambulance, I've been CPR/AED certified, I've been taught what to do during Rapid Interventioin Training and Spinal Chord Injuury in an Aquatic Environment, I've learned to take vitals and so much more.  I feel proud knowing I can help those people in Northport who are in need.  I haven't yet started my official EMT-B training but that will start at the beginning of September if all works out.  I've already starting working as part of the EMT Bike Rescue Squad and I really can't wait to combine my passion for cycling with my desire to help others.

And we had a real scare this year with William which really brought last summer's journey into a personal perspective when it was discovered he had a tumor on his shoulder blade.  It was benign but he still needed to have surger to reomove it which necessitated scooping out th ebone.  He is completely out of th ewoods now but there was about a month there where we were frightened to death.  We know there was only a small chance he was malignant but because of our experience with cancer (both personal and Sunrise) that small chance loomed overhead like a glistening guillotine of doom.  But he's been cleared now and all the subsequent check ups have been clean.  We're still slightly holding our breaths but breathing much easier when we do.

And there was the loss of our dear Lily cat.  As much as she could be weird and finicky about eating and pooping, she truly became part of our family, particularly during this last year.  When we came home in August she seemed to be so happy to see us.  It took a few days for her to realize we were really home for good and once she accepted the fact that we weren't leaving again, she really became so much more affectionate.  Once December came and I was on call once a week I amde a practice of sleeping on the couch so Amy wouldn't be awakened by the beeper going off.  And Lily made it HER practice from that first night to always sleep on my stomach or chest.  Sometimes it was maddening as she would hope off and on throughout the night giving me little rest.  But it became something that was comforting to me when on call.

At the end of February she started taking a turn for the worse and Amy took her in to the vet numerous times.  She was never the healthiest of cats from the day we brought her home and as she was a rescue cat we were never sure exactly how old she was.  We tried various vets and various treatments over the years but we were never able to exactly pinpoint her exact condition.  She was always thin and small for her age but around April 20th she stopped eating periodically.  We were used to this in her and we changed her cat food which worked for a while.  But then around May 2nd she stopped eating altogether and not even drinking much water either.  At that point we knew that we would have a very difficult decision to make very soon.  On Saturday the 4th she was in pretty bad shape.  We knew the vet was closed for the weekend and we knew that Monday we were going to have to take her in to have her put to sleep.  We didn't want to wait too long as we had with Boo so we would call the vet first thing.

 

On Sunday she was so weak she could hardly stand at all and when she walked she would list to the side and occasioinal fall over.  We knew the end was near.  We weren't even sure if she would last the night.  I wasn't on call that night but I slept on the couch just so she wouldn't be alone in case she passed in the night.  I cradled her on my chest all night so I could feel her breathing.  I dozed off sometime around 2:00 in the morning and when I woke up at 6:00 she was still wtih us.  I left for school and Amy called the vet the first thng and made an appointment to bring her in.  They told her 11:00 was the first time they could fit Lily in so Amy picked up the kids from school so they could go and say their last goodbyes.  They waited with ehr in the waiting room and petted her, told her how much they loved her and then said goodbye as the assistant came in to take her in.  The vet came back moments later to say Lily had already passed, most likely while in the waiting room.  It helped the kids to know she passed on her own, probably while being petted and knowing she was loved.

 

A few days later we had a funeral for her and buried her under the dogwood tree in the front yard.  We each wrote a list of things we loved about Lily and shared them with each other before puttin gthe lists in with her and covering her with dirt.  The kids were really broken up (as we all were) but we were also happy to know she was no longer in pain.  We lost a member of our family, the first pet the kids can really, truly remember but we were so glad that she passed knowing she was loved and cherished.  And here is a photo of one of the ways we will always remember our lovable, quirky little Lily cat, drinking out of any glass we happened to leave on the table;

 

 

 

The year was full of other ups and downs - a winning baseball season for the boys (their first ever), outstanding NYSSMA scores for Sarah and James, surviving Sandy, more car troubles than I can really enumerate in this post, a great prom weekend with Amy in the city, Sarah moving up to High School, me turning FIFTY (shhhhh!) - but through it all we've been a family.  I'm still grateful to Amy every minute of every day for the love and suport she gives me in all my misadventured piteous overthrow, for beign the incredible mother to our childeren and for being such an amazing role model.  If the year has taught me anything, it taught me that I would be nothing without her.  I kmw I am one of the luckiest people in the world becausd of my wife and children and I would not "trade my state for that of kings".  Shakespear's Sonnet 29 has long been one of my favorites but until this year I haven't really been able to appreciate these words;

 

When in disgrace with fortune and men's eyes
I all alone beweep my outcast state,
And trouble deaf heaven with my bootless cries,
And look upon myself, and curse my fate,
Wishing me like to one more rich in hope,
Featured like him, like him with friends possessed,
Desiring this man's art, and that man's scope,
With what I most enjoy contented least;
Yet in these thoughts my self almost despising,
Haply I think on thee, and then my state,
Like to the lark at break of day arising
From sullen earth, sings hymns at heaven's gate;
For thy sweet love remembered such wealth brings
That then I scorn to change my state with kings.

 

Now when I look at my wife and children I truly get it.

 

Don't get me wrong.  I still feel restless and irrelevant and unusre of what to do next with my life and with Connor's Army.  I still RECycle for Sunrise adn I am still searching for ways to use my bicycle to help the cancer community, particularly the one on Long Island.  But as I spend this summer at Sunrise, reminiscing (and longing to repeat) that trip across America I'm still searching for the next purpose.  It seems in today's world with instant access to everything on the internet that relevance is only as current as what you've done lately.  Right now I'm looking for that next moment of relevance, that next way that I can make a differenc.  Any ideas?  Ti's charity to shew.

 

Stay well my friends and I'm hoping to see you back on the road.

Honorificabilitudinitatibus!

So when I was a kid there was a cartoon series featuring a young boy named Tom Terrific and it was shown as part of the Captain Kangaroo children's television show.  It starred Tom Terrific, who lived in a treehouse and could transform himself into anything he wanted thanks to his magic, funnel-shaped "thinking cap," which also made him smarter. He had a , Mighty Manfred the Wonder Dog, and an arch-foe named Crabby Appleton, whose catch-phrase was, "I'm rotten to the core!" Other foes included Mr. Instant, the Instant Thing King, Captain Kidney Bean, Sweet Tooth Sam, the Candy Bandit and Isotope Feaney, The Meany.

Now I know a lot of people have annointed him as a Hall of Famer already but Tom Terrific should not be confused with Tom Brady;

(Now where did I put those car keys????/)

Or confused with the "Terrific Tom" of the cycling world, Tom Boonen (pronounced "Bone-en") - a Tom that actually wins;

(Car Keys????? WE don't need no stinkin' car keys!!!!)

No, Tom Terrific was a different kind of hero.  To give you a little taste of cartoons from "Back in the Day", here's what his show looked like;



I think that one is particularly appropriate seeing as how we're going to be heading west on June 15!  I only hope we can manage not to crash into the Mississippi river the way Tom and Manfred did.  Yes, that's what used to pass for animated entertainment way back when as opposed to some of what we find on TV today;



of course as an avowed Phineas and Ferb fan I do enjoy the musical renderings of those little guys - much better than the Tom Terrific theme song I have to admit.

What all of these individuals DO have in common is that they are all what William Shakespeare would define as Honorificabilitudinitatibus - "the state of being able to achieve honours".  The word is first mentioned in his play Love's Labour's Lost (a prequel to the lost play Love's Labour's Won) and is spokken by the character Costard;

"O, they have lived long on the alms-basket of words. I marvel thy master hath not eaten thee for a word; for thou art not long by the head as honorificabilitudinitatibus: thou art easier swallowed than a flap-dragon."

It should here be mentioned that "flap-dragon" was a game which involved trying to eat hot raisins from a burning bowl of brandy (Of course, that is not to be confused with a burning bowl of Brady which I guess is what happened after his "melt down" during the Super Bowl).

Even although the palmarés of  both Messieurs Boonen and Brady are well-documented, it is a little known fact that Messieurs Phineas and Ferb have indeed earned an Emmy award for "Outstanding Writing in Animation"!

Well, it now appears that some out there have also considered Connor's Army to be Honorificabilitudinitatibus as well!  A recent article penned by Miss Tara O'Connor (no relation, unless it goes generation back to the old country) in the Syosset Patch entitled "Syosset Teacher Goes the Distance" has generated a lot of interest and has helped us spread the word about Connor's Army Ride Across America.  That came out on Monday and generated a lot of interest and messages to us.  I also have to say I am incredibly humbled by all of the people who shared the link on Facebook and for all the comments people wrote. 

And you remember the interview with the Long Islander I spoke about a few weeks ago?  Well it seems the article came out in a few local papers that are under the Long Islander umbrella - the Record and the Northport Observer.  It was a 3/4 page article and it really gave us a lot of glowing compliments.

Now you have to understand, one of the things I'm not very good at doing is "tooting my own horn";

it was probably one of my biggest weaknesses back when I was performing, the business of "the business".  I've always been one to simply do and hope that my efforts are good enough.

Well, it seems that things are starting to happen and folks are starting to take notice.  It seems that the Long Islander also publishes a paper in Dix Hills and one of the Town Councilpeople(?) took notice of it.  As a result, yours truly is going to be honored by the Town of Huntington for our efforts to help Sunrise Day Camp on April 17th!!!!!!!  I'm incredibly grateful to them for this honor and for everyone who has supported us thus far!  I want to invite everyone who lives on Long Island and who supports us to join us at Huntinton Town Hall on April 17th at 7:00 and maybe we'll go out afterwards to Ben and Jerry's to celebrate!  Nothing says support a cyclist like filling him with ice cream!!!!! 

And in the meantime, please do me a favor.  PLEASE help us to spread the word even further so we can get the word out - Invite everyone YOU know on Facebook to go to https://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Connors-Army/143446649035655 and add us to their likes.  That goes for friends, colleagues, other facebook pages and groups - everyone you know.  It really would mean a great deal because every person means someone else who might be able to help us spread the world.  Besides, I really am hoping to get 3600 likes by June so I can have one person for each mile I'm riding - YES, I'M DEDICATING A MILE TO EACH PERSON WHO LIKES MY PAGE!  I WANT TO RIDE FOR YOU!!!!!

And now to give you all a little dessert treat in preparation for the April 17th soiree, here is a little song I just found called "I Love My Bike" by Italian hip-hop star J-Ax;



I only wish I knew what he was saying!

Stay well, and I'll see you on the road!

And The Wheel Keeps Turning

For those of you who have been following this blog I apologize for my silence over the last eleven days.  I had gotten so much better  in the last month with my postings and although my 2011 postings (35) have only been half of those in 2010 (74), I had recently been very excited about Connor's Army and our Ride Across America for Sunrise.  Well, in the way that God has a way of laughing at us;



Of course, Mr. Chopra's view of God's Laughter is at complete odds with those of Order of the Ebon Hand, a black metal band from Greece.



And this in turn is not to be confused with the playing card from the game Magic: The Gathering;

(White Clerics Beware!!!)

Which, according to my daughter Sarah, is a really good card to have.  I honestly wouldn't know since I am magically impaired (as opposed to magically delicious).

Anyway, back to my original reason for writing.  I have been vascillating for days on whther to post this because to be quite honest I haven't been this down and despondent in a very long time.  I guess the last time I really felt this pessimistic about life would have been back in October of 2010 when I wrote about feeling like a raisin in the sun.  For those of you who have forgotten Langston Hughes' masterpiece, here it is;

Dream Deferred

What happens to a dream deferred?
Does it dry up
Like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore--
And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over--
like a syrupy sweet?
Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load.
Or does it explode?

What has gotten me back into this state of blue funkness is something that has recently occured in my efforts to raise money for Sunrise Day Camp.  And no, I'm not talking about the song by Heavy D & The Boyz;



A month ago you may remember that I wrote about how things were going well with our efforts to get support for our Connor's Army Ride Across America
(aka, Connor's Army XC; aka, CARAAM) looking up with over 1200 followers and almost 10,000 views on this very blog.   The Fashion Show advisor and students in charge had informed me that the even twould be a fundraiser for Sunrise (the idea being that the proceeds would count towards the $50,000 we're hoping to raise with CARAAM), Sunrise Syosset had formed, other clubs were excited about getting involved with helping fundraise (including Sports Night).  Everything seemed to be on track and it seemed like I had the support of a village, or at least a school.

And then the cast list went up for our spring musical!
 
Now, as you may know from reading these pages, I am a high school drama teacher by day (okay and sometimes by night too) and three times a year I have the task of casting our main stage shows.  It has to be the one part of my job that I truly hate.  Not because I find the process itself difficult.  I've learned over the years to really pay attention to all the kids do in auditions, to take in consideration all they've done in the past, what I know of their work ethic and how far they will push themselves to creat the role.  I use all of this information when I cast a show and I try to cast the best OVERALL show that I can.  I know I've personally been to many productions (including professional *cough* Broadway productions) where the male and female leads are amazing and everyone else is just window dressing and blah!  My own personal philosphy is that my job is to collect the best cast I can and cast them in the best roles for the overall production so that the overall show is strong.  Its sort of like coaching a team - you don't want just your quarterback/pitcher/striker/race leader to be amazing and everyone else just there.  That doesn't win games or races, it just gets your quarterback/pitcher/striker/race leader targeted and/or pummeled.

So I've strived over the years to always cast the strongest OVERALL show possible and put all the personnel in the best slots for the overall show.  I use my knowledge of them to know what they can do, what special talents they might have and how far I can push them and how far they will push themselves.

But sometimes that's not good enough.  It's almost like that monologue from 'Dentity Crisis by Christopher Durang when the character Jane talks about an experience she had as a child watching a production of Peter Pan.  She describes the ending of the play this way;

"You remember how in the second act Tinkerbell drinks some poison that peter is about to drink in order to save him? And then Peter turns to the audience and he says that "Tinkerbell is going to die because not enough people believe in fairies. But if all of you clap your hands real hard to show that you do believe in fairies, maybe she won't die." So, we all started to clap. I clapped so long and so hard that my palms hurt and they even started to bleed I clapped so hard. Then suddenly the actress playing peter pan turned to the audience and she said, "That wasn't enough. You did not clap hard enough. Tinkerbell is dead." And then we all started to cry. The actress stomped off stage and refused to continue with the production. They finally had to lower the curtain. The ushers had to come help us out of the aisles and into the street. I don't think that any of us were ever the same after that experience. It certainly turned me against theatre. And even more damagingly, I think it's warped my total sense of life. I mean nothing seems worth trying if Tinkerbell is just going to die."

Well, sometimes when I cast the shows I find that sometimes just getting a good part isn't enough for the kids or thier parents.  As a result, I've had my job threatened on more than one occasion.  Usually I'm okay with that since we have a consistent process in place for casting the shows and although the final decision in casting is mine to make, I never go about it lightly and in the case of the musical I never do it without conferring with my colleagues.  We don't always agree but in the end I think the casting of the musical has always been made with the right people in place. 

However, when parents start railing about me in public places in town to other parents and start declaring they are going to have me fired because of the way I have cast a show it really does start to make me wonder what I'm doing here.  It starts me into that Blue Funk that really makes me wonder why I spend so many sleepless nights worrying about if I'm making the right decision in my casting choices.

But what really has thrown me back to the feelings I was experiencing in the fall of 2010, that is the feelings of wanting to give up is the fact that this time its gone even further than just talking about.  This time a parent, in order to get back at me has charged that I'm exhibiting a "conflict of interest" and abusing my power by making students and parents feel like they HAVE to support my philanthropic efforts (Connor's Army and Sunrise Day Camp) or they won't get good parts in the shows.  In other words, that I have been "blackmailing" the parents and kids into supporting my efforts to help Sunrise.  My answer to that is really shock, disbelief, anger, hurt, and frustration.  I mean, really?!?  My father was a career military NCO and I was in no way EVER raised with any type of silver spoon - if it were anything it might have been a plastic spork - but what he did give me was a deep abiding sense of honor and honesty.  I would never sell any favors to anyone for anything.  To quote Brutus from William Shakespeare's Julius Caeser;

What, shall one of us
That struck the foremost man of all this world
But for supporting robbers, shall we now
Contaminate our fingers with base bribes,
And sell the mighty space of our large honours
For so much trash as may be grasped thus?
 
My honor is everything and its all that I am likely to be able to pass on to my children (that along with a couple of bicycles and some guitars).  So why would I sell my honor to raise a few dollars for charity? 
 
Now, have I been telling everyone (including you dear readers) about what I'm planning to do this summer?  Yes.  Have I been reaching out to everyone I know and asking them to support us on facebook?  Yes.  Have I asked people to pass on information about us to anyone who might want to sponsor us and help us be able to underwrite the costs of gas, tolls, accomodations for on the road?  Yes.  And that's where the trouble lies, according to the school district that is all inappropriate behavior and I am abusing my power.  Really?  In order to help children with cancer I have reached out to the people (aside from my own family) with which I have the most contact and who know me best and that is considering selling the casting of the school shows.  In other words, I am now considered to be the Syosset version of this guy;

(Rod "I-never-met-a-bribe-I-didn't-like Blagojevich)

As if I'm going to risk everything I've worked for the last fifteen years in order to give someone a really good part.  Again, my honesty and integrity is all I have and that is now being dragged through the mud.  Or at least that's the way it feels.  So just for the record, for any of you who have made it thus far and who are still reading this let me say this as UNEQUIVOCALLY as I can - I HAVE NEVER "SOLD" THE CASTING FOR A SHOW, I WILL NEVER SELL THE CASTING FOR A SHOW, AND I HAVE NEVER DONE ANYTHING BUT DO MY JOB AS HONESTLY AND HONORABLY AS I CAN.  And yes, again to quote Shakespeare this probably smacks a bit of "the lady protests too much methinks" or being reminiscent of this guy;

(Checkers believes me!)

If you can't tell, I am incredibly upset by all of this.  But what is even more important, I think I am truly falling into a state of despair that I'm not sure I can recover from.  And this is why its taken so long to write this latest blog post.  Its had me so depressed about the prospects for Connor's Army that during this winter break I only rode one day - in a week that was full of temperatures in the upper 50's and low 60's!  And this from someone who has logged more than 3,000 commuting miles this year.   The reason being is that all of this information about the "abuse of power" charges hit me only a week ago.  So I have spent the entire break upset and pretty much feeling like I don't want to do anything.
 
Why?  Because I was told that I could do not promotion of Connor's Army to anyone at school.  I had to go on Facebook and delete any posts that went out to the kids asking them to support Connor's Army in ANY way, shape or form.  I can't ask colleagues to help support Connor's Army and I can't reach out to the people where I spend most of my adult life.  I reluctantly agreed to this because if parents were feeling pressured to support my own personal not-for-profit group I could certainly understand a cease and desist order.  I wouldn't want anyone to think that there was any sort of inpropriety going on.  I took out the brochures that I had posted in the faculty cafeteria.  I complied in every way that my supervisors asked me.   NOW PLEASE UNDERSTAND THIS CLEARLY, I DO NOT BLAME MY BUILDING ADMINISTRATORS AT ALL!  Especially, given my experience in my administrative classes (yes, everyone I am certified as a School District Administrator) I know that when a parent makes this kind of complaing they have to cover their bases.  So sadly, I packed up my car and headed home for the holidays.
 
That is when the other shoe dropped.  I received a phone call at home from administration saying they spoke to the parents involved again to say I would not be promoting Connor's Army again at school to parents, students or teachers.  But just like Peter Pan, that wasn't enough, I didn't clap hard enough.  Now the argument was that if there was any fundraising happening for Sunrise and my name was in any way associated with it, students would still feel pressured to help out becuase they would feel that if they didn't they wouldn't be cast in any shows.  That means the Fashion Show could not raise money for Sunrise if I was involved.  Sports Night can't raise money for Sunrise if I'm involved.  GSA, Peer Helpers, Exercise Physiology, Interact, MLK - no student group could raise the money for Sunrise if I am involved in any way.  In other words, if the students wanted to help me raise $50,000 and send eight kids with cancer to camp and possibly change their lives forever, they can't do it if I'm involved.
 
And that my friends is what hurts.  That is what makes me wonder if what I'm doing is worth it.  That is what makes me feel like selling my bikes, my cycling clothing, my repair stand and just giving up.  The joy of riding is somewhat diminished becuase I feel like what is the point, I'll never raise the money now.  And all because someone was mad at me because of casting a show.  Becuase of that anger and the desire to get at ME, eight innocent children who have never done anything to hurt these people are now going to be denied the chance to have a summer like other kids.  And that is what makes me feel so damn depressed.
 
And then I started reading Michael Moore's autobiography Here Comes Trouble a few days ago and he describes what life was life after he received the Oscar for Bowling for Columbine.  In his acceptance speech he said that we lived in fictitious times with a fictitious president and since it came only two years after 9/11 he succeeded in invoking the wrath of the American public.  He had death threats against him, he was effectively black listed in the film community and he felt like giving up entirely. 
 
However, he also managed to become close friends with Kurt Vonnegut during the last year of Mr. Vonnegut's life.  Towards the end he had a conversation with Mr. Vonnegut in which he said his son had helped him figure out the meaning of life, "our purpose here is to help each other get through this, whatever it is."  Our purpose here is to help others, especially those who have found themselves in a worse state than ourselves. 
 
I read his words and a light bulb went off in my head.  Of course, that's it.  Our point here is to help others - Not to wage wars of enlightenment, not to dictate other peoples' morality, not to preach for the conversion of their souls, nor to enslave them to politics that don't help them get through the day to day.  No, its to help make life better for each other in whatever way we can.  Perhaps by teaching.  Perhaps by feeding them.  Perhaps it will be by donating our time.  Me, I ride my bike in the hopes that I can make life better for the children of Sunrise.
 
So I am going to go on.  I may not be able to raise the same kind of money that I hoped to do before but whatever we raise, we raise.  I can't stop trying to help these kids.  Perhaps someone will read this and be inspired to help me raise the Monies that I can't raise through teh channels at SHS.  Who knows?  I do know that I WILL be riding and I will keep trying to make a difference, to help others get through this, whatever it is.
 
And now for the dessert, a little number by a group called Cake;



Thank you to everyone who has believed in me - I'll try to justify that belief in the six months coming up and as I ride the 3600 miles from San Diego!

Stay well and I WILL see you on the road!