Are Those Aliens Back There?

So, a few months ago I had a medical issue which caused my doctor to be a bit concerned so she sent me to a GI specialist (gastrointestinal) to investigate further. He looked me over and said that even though I would normally not have to worry about a colonoscopy for quite a few years he wanted me to have one because he wasn't too happy with what he was seeing, considering I was so (relatively), young.

Well, today was the day of the "probing". I had started to come down with something on Sunday and when I woke up Monday morning I realized that if I didn't nip this chest cold/coughing seizure fit in the bud it would probably negate my procedure. Considering the fact I had to book it two months in advance as it was, I was not too happy at the prospect at having to put it off - especially if the doctor was concerned enough to have me go through this procedure about five years earlier than I normally would. So, I stayed home. I wasn't too proud about it but I had to get better because I needed to find out what he was so concerned about.

Then yesterday was one of the worst "healthy" days I've had in a while. Now you always hear people joking about the stuff you have to take for the colonoscopy and the results of the concoction but you think its just a joke, that they're not serious - YES THEY ARE! The original plan was to go into school for a half day and then come home and finish the process. However, the instructions called for starting with a jump start pill combo at 10:00 - by 11:00 I was feeling the effects to put it mildly. An hour later I started drinking the Mylax/Gatorade combo and pretty much the rest of the day it was like using a liquid toilet snake on my insides. Nothing stayed in, not even jello! It wasn't fun! I got to have a milkshake for dinner but that was the only high point. Add to that the fact I still had a chest cold/runny nose/headache going on and I was miserable.

Then there was today. Granted I didn't have anything to eat since midnight so I was a bit light headed anyway. Sarah's harp needed to be taken up to the school becuase she had round two of "Ocean's Got Talent" (she was a first round winner - woohoo!) coming up and her harp needed to be there so she could play 'Sally Gardens". I took it up and then waited for Amy to walk up with the kids so we could go to the 'facility".

We got there and it was a little surreal. To say I was the youngest patient in the waiting room by a good 20 years (not counting Amy) is probably not an exaggeration. I kept thinking, "why am I here? I can't have as much going on inside as them." Finally they called my name, took my vitals and got me all comfortable in my bed. I was ready for a nap! Then they brought out the needle for the IV!

Now I have donated blood in the past, even on one occasion to get out of jury duty - long story - and I know Amy gave so much blood when trying to have the kids that she is so used to needles. However, I still get skeeved out by them and this was no exception - it was made doubly worse by the fact that due to my dehydrated state my veins weren't popping up in their usual healthy manner! Thank goodness the nurse was REALLY good and got me on the first try.

Since the place they were holding me was also where patients were recovering from their "procedures" so I got to hear what the doctor was telling them about what was seen and prognoses and when they needed to come back - more on that later.

Eventually they came to get me and wheel me into the room. Now, it has to be said here that I am scared to death of "going under" when it comes to anesthesia. When I had my ankle reconstruction I had a spinal and I was conscious for the entire operation. This time that wasn't an option and I had to do it by going under - @$$*&%@! It was a little surreal as I watched them inject a thick white fluid into the IV. I remember thinking, "wow, that's awfully thick stuff. I wonder how long it takes to zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz." I was out! It was at that point that I think the little green men with almond eyes came in the room!

I woke up later and I felt fine! I wasn't woozy and I could move all of my limbs and digits! I waited until they told me I could get dressed and go to the "recovery" part of the room. As I was finishing my juice and pretzels Dr. Suh came in and said he wanted me to go to the front room to talk to him and go over my results. This is/was very disconcerting as everyone else he had spoken too he had conversations with right there in the recovery room. Why did he want me up front?

He then said he wanted to call Amy in and inside I freaked out even more. He went over the results (they had two remove a few polyps and there was something else going on with the lining of my colon at one spot) and then said he would want to see me again in a year! Now everyone else he had spoken to (some who looked in their 70's) he said he would see in three to five years and yet he wanted me back in a year! So to put it midly, Amy and I have been a bit freaked out all day. We don't know what to expect. Now, I'm sure part of it is due to the family history with the various forms of cancer has something to do with it but still, its a bit disconcerting - hopefully I'll find out in a week that all is well.

And now I'm home and I'm still feeling the effects of the anesthesia and the MyLax cocktail. One of the things I find most amusing is the the warnings and things I'm procribed AGAINST doing - no vigorous exercise, no alchohol (damn), no driving (duh!) and my favorite NO OPERATING HOUSEHOLD APPLIANCES! Sorry sweetheart, can't load the dishwasher - it might tip over on me.

And so now I'm recuperating nicely, and getting ready to pick up the kids from school so I can conduct "The Star Spangled Banner" to the 24 combined 4th and 5th graders who will be singing at the Ducks game on Friday! No worries, all we have to do is figure out the right key to sing it in and I need to stay away from any appliances in the process!

Stay well and I'll see you on the road (as soon as I'm allowed to operate my bike!)!